Two new lovers turn to OralMarin for help 
Suicidal passions are revealed by one of the guys

Note: Santa Ana 20yo also comments on $300 dare for sex

oralmarin: WHY AM I IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS ?
SantaAna 20yo: cuz you are my Friend!
oralmarin: I think I would like to be
SantaAna 20yo: you are 
SantaAna 20yo: so be patient
SantaAna 20yo: :-)
oralmarin: but not in the middle of lovers angst
SantaAna 20yo: why not?
oralmarin: Altho I am a counselor type
SantaAna 20yo: so you will do counseling
oralmarin: Your boyfriend can talk to me if he wants.

Boyfriend: hi
Boyfriend: did you ever meet face to face with SantaAna 20yo?
oralmarin: have not
oralmarin: but he seems like fun
oralmarin: he and I just met online tonight
Boyfriend: we want to be boyfreinds
Boyfriend: but I dont understand his IM's to other guys
Boyfriend: yes like talking about sex with other guys
oralmarin: SantaAna 20yo seems like a high energy guy
oralmarin: think he is mainly talk
Boyfriend: yea but is he really serious about doing it?
Boyfriend: please tell me
oralmarin: you should talk to SantaAna 20yo, not me
oralmarin: he says he meets with lots of guys
Boyfriend: you are saying he fucks with guys in real life a lot
oralmarin: I might me mistaken - 
Boyfriend: please be honest with me man I am seriouse about this guy I need to know
oralmarin: talking to SantaAna 20yo now
Boyfriend: are you asking him what to tell me?
oralmarin: he says he is not doing much if any sex now
Boyfriend: much doesnt mean, not doing at all
oralmarin: this should keep you relaxed
oralmarin: SantaAna 20yo: Do you like Boyfriend?
SantaAna 20yo: yes, he is cool
SantaAna 20yo: I like him
SantaAna 20yo: so much
SantaAna 20yo: I feel like I'm totally fall in love with him
oralmarin: that should satisfy - I would be happy
Boyfriend: Be honest
Boyfriend: I love the GUy more than my life
Boyfriend: but I dont want to get played
Boyfriend: he is my whole world
Boyfriend: but I think he is playing me for fun
oralmarin: I don't think so
Boyfriend: LOOOK I wanna die
Boyfriend: I feel horrible
Boyfriend: I understand he is playing me 
Boyfriend: I can tell from what you told me
Boyfriend: I know the truth
oralmarin: I don't
Boyfriend: its a game
Boyfriend: and I am upset
Boyfriend: I was so honest
Boyfriend: I LOVE HIM more than life
Boyfriend: and I am played
Boyfriend: enough
Boyfriend: look I love the guy more than human heart can bear
Boyfriend: but I understand now he is just playing
Boyfriend: I dont wanna hear lies
Boyfriend: you told me everyhting at first
oralmarin: I sympathize and am trying to get a straight answer 
oralmarin: SantaAna 20yo: Are you being honest with Boyfriend?
SantaAna 20yo: sure.
SantaAna 20yo: I love that guy 
SantaAna 20yo: he is so cool
SantaAna 20yo: but I have to get over from my past relationship
Boyfriend: well after he knows you are talking to me
oralmarin: do think he lies?
oralmarin: or are you being too sensitive?
oralmarin: are you nearby to SantaAna 20yo?
oralmarin: why not go over and see his face talking
oralmarin: I think SantaAna 20yo is a cutup and high energy - 
oralmarin: but not insincere
Boyfriend: sorry man I dont wanna hear anyhting 
Boyfriend: I see the point 
Boyfriend: its a game
oralmarin: you both sound nice - I do wish you were happy together
Boyfriend: yes right
Boyfriend: he just playing
oralmarin: perhaps a little time 
oralmarin: I told him I do wonder why he is active in the chat room
Boyfriend: man
Boyfriend: its about love
Boyfriend: I am honerstly love him
oralmarin: but think it is just an outlet for all his social energy
Boyfriend: including me
oralmarin: perhaps if you didn't come on so strong to Ricky
oralmarin: your comments would scare me a bit
Boyfriend: about what
oralmarin: loving him soooo much
oralmarin: you may feel that way
oralmarin: but perhaps it is best to keep it more 
oralmarin: light hearted with him - he needs a little space 
Boyfriend: is he on line now?
oralmarin: no - signed off
Boyfriend: look man I know him not too long
Boyfriend: I have a story
Boyfriend: I had relationship over chat line
oralmarin: hard to be in love on short time
Boyfriend: look lemmy share
oralmarin: ok
Boyfriend: year ago
Boyfriend: I met a guy
Boyfriend: he showed me his pic
Boyfriend: so did I
Boyfriend: in a month we fell in love
Boyfriend: it was beuautilful
Boyfriend: he is in Sydney
Boyfriend: we were about to marry
Boyfriend: he was goona come here
Boyfriend: we never really met in life
Boyfriend: I thought I loved him
oralmarin: you were to marry a guy you never physically met?
Boyfriend: then one day his brother emailed me and said Steven died
Boyfriend: we knew each other for 6 months
Boyfriend: Steven had manic depression and was raped, bashed and asbused
Boyfriend: split personalities and all that
oralmarin: wow - that is tragic
Boyfriend: at that day
Boyfriend: I cryed like a baby so loud
Boyfriend: the whole college heard me weaping
Boyfriend: it was wild scream
Boyfriend: I loved i was honest
Boyfriend: I was ready to die
oralmarin: would be terrible for anybody
Boyfriend: I told my parents about marriage
Boyfriend: I came out 
Boyfriend: and then all gone
Boyfriend: that night I was die too
Boyfriend: but my freinds stayed with me the whole night
Boyfriend: tied me up
oralmarin: thank God for good friends
Boyfriend: I didnt die 
Boyfriend: then later 
Boyfriend: I found out he didnt die
Boyfriend: his brother and freinds kept lieyng to me that he is dead
Boyfriend: I heard nothing from Steven either
oralmarin: gays do not have it easy in this world
Boyfriend: then
Boyfriend: in 6 month later 
Boyfriend: I got back in touch with Steven
Boyfriend: then after 4 more months he told me 
Boyfriend: he didnt really love me he has interenet "LOVE" to anyonne
Boyfriend: like 14 other guys
Boyfriend: had sex
Boyfriend: anything
Boyfriend: he was just playing with me
Boyfriend: and then finaly
Boyfriend: he told me it was not really his pic as well
oralmarin: AHHHH
Boyfriend: the whole love was fake
Boyfriend: as well as pic
Boyfriend: he was lying and fucking the whole time
Boyfriend: and I almost lost my life over it
Boyfriend: Now
oralmarin: this should be on 60 Minutes or something
Boyfriend: I met SantaAna 20yo 
oralmarin: and you project your fears on to his words
Boyfriend: I felt soo much to him , more than to Steven 
Boyfriend: the guy became more to me then anything I ever felt to Steven
Boyfriend: never a guy hold my heart on the palm of his hands
Boyfriend: But SantaAna 20yo got my heart
Boyfriend: I made a step of trust
Boyfriend: I fell again and even more
Boyfriend: Now all this sounds to me like the same story
Boyfriend: I think I am played again
oralmarin: A big difference is that SantaAna 20yo is real
Boyfriend: as you said I never seen him in person - have you??
Boyfriend: by his behavior I can tell he likes everyone 
Boyfriend: like Steven 
Boyfriend: and maybe has sex with many, who knows
Boyfriend: as you said
oralmarin: You have not met SantaAna 20yo face to face either?
Boyfriend: but what he said to you is sufficient enough
Boyfriend: look I was goona move to CA
Boyfriend: I was gonna give all for him
Boyfriend: but how can I trust now??
oralmarin: One thing I have learned is that 
oralmarin: the next problem is rarely like the last one
oralmarin: I'll bet SantaAna 20yo has other faults - 
oralmarin: but they will be different from Stevens
Boyfriend: and who know how many sex he had
Boyfriend: he maybe having sex now
oralmarin: yes, I think SantaAna 20yo always will be promiscuous
Boyfriend: see you are admitting
Boyfriend: that he has sex in real life
oralmarin: I don't know him, but my guess is that 
oralmarin: he has plusses and minuses - like all of us
oralmarin: but you have to take the whole package
Boyfriend: yes but , does he love me or he loves me like anyone else?
oralmarin: I think you are someone special to him
Boyfriend: I want to know if his love is real or a game 
oralmarin: I think you have a tendency to love more deeply than most
oralmarin: and that can be scary for another
Boyfriend: look I am who I am
oralmarin: SantaAna 20yo likely feels he will never be the ideal 
oralmarin: you now have in your mind
Boyfriend: but
Boyfriend: how do u know what he feels
Boyfriend: all I want is honesty
Boyfriend: he never told me about his past relationship
oralmarin: Better you know now
Boyfriend: I know only a bit of it what you told
oralmarin: time will bring much up - for both of you - sort it all out
Boyfriend: who I trust?? because I wont be able to live thru another lie
Boyfriend: it will KILL ME
oralmarin: I urge you not to rush or pressure SantaAna 20yo 
Boyfriend: maybe I should let him go if he just playing
oralmarin: feel you may be more attractive to him if play at romance - oralmarin: tease, have fun - not so deadly serious
Boyfriend: I dont understand
oralmarin: The fact that you don't understand is a warning signal 
oralmarin: you are like a rushing train
Boyfriend: yes I am 
oralmarin: he may not be as committed as you
Boyfriend: in other words he is not really in love
oralmarin: often hard to see from another's perspective
oralmarin: for example, most guys may not  be 100% faithful
Boyfriend: like go and love other guys too
oralmarin: yes - have sex with others - not love with them
oralmarin: big difference
Boyfriend: he told me he was doing that ever since 15
Boyfriend: I am still virgin
oralmarin: males seem to be built to play around - gay or straight
oralmarin: and gay is easier to play around
Boyfriend: thats wrong
Boyfriend: do u know what sex is??
oralmarin: may be wrong - but you are not going to change the world
oralmarin: yes
Boyfriend: sex is giving a part of your self
Boyfriend: imagine
Boyfriend: you lover gave himself away to other men
Boyfriend: what is left for you??
Boyfriend: just a body
Boyfriend: no soul
Boyfriend: sex is not just body
Boyfriend: sex is soul 
Boyfriend: dont you think sex is connecting with a soul??
Boyfriend: permisquices people loose their soul
Boyfriend: ang have nothing to offer to a loved one
oralmarin: Your ideas are idealized - you will have a hard time
oralmarin: finding a b/f to match those ideals
Boyfriend: I know SantaAna 20yo had too much sex before 
oralmarin: If you love him enough, you will allow him his faults
Boyfriend: yes 
Boyfriend: but would he love me back?
Boyfriend: or just play
Boyfriend: I am afraid man
oralmarin: You had a really bad experience with Steven
Boyfriend: I am afraid to make another mistake
Boyfriend: I chatted with a lot of guys
Boyfriend: and all of guys are playing
Boyfriend: but
Boyfriend: I still hoped
Boyfriend: I still trusted
Boyfriend: I still fell for SantaAna 20yo 
Boyfriend: Now I feel I am dooped
oralmarin: you have big mood swings - 
oralmarin: most people are more level in feelings
Boyfriend: let me tell you I was not gay before Steven
Boyfriend: I wanted a girl
Boyfriend: I became gay because I fell for Steven
Boyfriend: my whole world changed 
oralmarin: was his pic that good?
oralmarin: thought so 
Boyfriend: I am religious person 
Boyfriend: and I gave up my morals
Boyfriend: I gave up my christianity
Boyfriend: for that
oralmarin: religion tends not to be tolerant of the grays in live
Boyfriend: and now I am left with nothing but lies
Boyfriend: I have a dream
Boyfriend: a cute guy and we are in deep in love
oralmarin: let me shock you 
Boyfriend: ok
oralmarin: I would not want to marry someone who felt like you
oralmarin: you are too rigid
oralmarin: and rigid things break
oralmarin: you need to bend with the wind
Boyfriend: I betrayed my beliefs
oralmarin: perhaps you altered them
Boyfriend: I became PROGAY
Boyfriend: I dream of a guy
Boyfriend: of love
Boyfriend: not a girl
oralmarin: so
Boyfriend: Now I cant find him
oralmarin: perhaps religion ought to bend a bit too
Boyfriend: I wanted SantaAna 20yo be my LOVE
oralmarin: you dream of a knight on a white horse
Boyfriend: maybe 
oralmarin: that fantasy doesn't exist
Boyfriend: I like blonds
Boyfriend: SantaAna 20yo is blond and cute
oralmarin: SantaAna 20yo is a real person - with faults like all of us
Boyfriend: I know
Boyfriend: I would put up with all that
Boyfriend: but
Boyfriend: if I have nothing in return 
Boyfriend: no love
Boyfriend: how can I last
oralmarin: I agree - 
oralmarin: but you will have the love that SantaAna 20yo is capable of giving
oralmarin: it may not be all you want - and he may stray
Boyfriend: is that love though or a game, that is KEY question
oralmarin: but if he always comes back to you - is that so bad?
Boyfriend: I would accept him
Boyfriend: I just want him to be honest with me
Boyfriend: why lie??
oralmarin: but he may stray
oralmarin: if he does, should he lie
oralmarin: or will you accept him back after straying
Boyfriend: well if he strays that fine
oralmarin: good
Boyfriend: I will accept
Boyfriend: I love him beyond that
Boyfriend: but
Boyfriend: doesnt he love me in first place?
oralmarin: that you will have to find out
Boyfriend: he told me he loves me
Boyfriend: wants to marry me
oralmarin: RELAX
Boyfriend: tell me how old are you?
oralmarin: let things happen
oralmarin: I'm 53
Boyfriend: ok
oralmarin: have seen more than you
Boyfriend: he promised to call me and signed off without calling me
oralmarin: That's the kind of comment that would scare me
oralmarin: give him his space
Boyfriend: what comment?
oralmarin: promised to call 
oralmarin: you can suffocate SantaAna 20yo 
Boyfriend: look how do u know what is best for him
oralmarin: I don't know
oralmarin: that is not my concern
oralmarin: I'm just saying what I think is likely to happen 
Boyfriend: well I like him alot
oralmarin: and I hope you two make it
oralmarin: I am on both your sides
Boyfriend: it's up to him
Boyfriend: he is free
Boyfriend: I just dont want to be hurt
oralmarin: up to both of you to be tolerant and understanding 
Boyfriend: I am trying
Boyfriend: but as long as he loves me
oralmarin: I think he does 
oralmarin: Listen, got to go and get some sleep
oralmarin: chat again?
Boyfriend: ok

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