A THOUSAND TEARS
I know those tears you cry, at night, in your bed,
                            ALONE!
I have cried those same tears, a thousand times!
JUST A GAME
I spent all those years waiting for this day...
For words I had wished someone would say.

BUT IT WAS JUST A GAME...and I did not know
the rules, did not know how to play!

He knew exactly what I wanted and needed.
He knew how to hold me and touch me.
His kisses so soft...melted all my pain away.

And for once, I felt I was truly making someone melt with my touch!
Entangled in pure love, we melted into each other and nothing mattered beyond our embrace, beyond our welded bodies!
If only I had known...loving him would hurt and
cost so much.

Alone again, a woman betrayed, a heart fully crushed!
He ripped me to shreds...fucked with my head.
How many times, and how many more?
Women, used and discarded, crying alone in bed.
Hearts left in tatters, crumpled, bleeding...upon a hard, cold floor!
ANOTHER DAY
I am here to live another day. Whether it brings tears or laughter...I am here to experience it. Another day to fake a smile...Another day to feel numb and broken...Another day to struggle through what you created...Another day to be a fucked up ME!

Another day with the horror, with the disbelief.
That you wanted to kill me, left me alone in our bed, left me for DEAD!
You said you loved me, you were my soul mate.
You said I was the most special person in your life.
I was your love, your family, how could you hate?

Another day to try to realize that the one I so trusted, the love of my life....the one I thought was my lover, my partner, my friend...was so full of lies, greed, and hate...he wanted my life to END!

Another day knowing I will forever be alone...because after this, how can I ever trust.
Do you even care? Do you know what you have done?

Another day of feeling the pain of a heart so mangled, so mutilated, a total wreck. How do you sleep at night? How can you live with yourself?
No apology, no closure, not even a hint of remorse.

Another day to go from utter despair to intense anger.
From wanting revenge, to total pity for you.
How could you do this...how can this be true?

Another day of hoping you go to sleep at night...
Remembering my face...may it now haunt your dreams...and now fuck with your head.
Remembering the bed...where you left me for DEAD!

I believed in you, trusted you, and gave all I had for this promised new life. And for what?
So I could become just another discarded, deleted person in your life?
You pretend to practice Zen...well let the karma begin! 

What kind of monster? So evil...so cold.
And I was so quickly and easily replaced!
Was  the money? Our home? Worth my life?
All those promises, just lies that you told.
Just another day...to ask myself WHY?

The monster was not under her bed....he was in it!
  
She has been everyone else's girl...maybe one day...she will be her own!
MOONSTRUCK
I love you...not like they told you love is...and I did not know this either. But love does not make things nice, it ruins everything, it breaks your heart, it makes things a mess!

We are not here to make things perfect. Snowflakes are perfect, the stars are perfect. Not us, we are here to ruin ourselves and break our hearts...and love the wrong people and die!
                                        Nicholas Cage in Moonstruck
                                                   
Maybe one day I will find my way back...
HOME
I will be O.K. just not today!
LINK TO KINDNESS
Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

1