9.) Gonorrhea the itchy hampster

8.) Pope John Paul the Thirdle the turtle

7.) Pinky the hallucinagetic elephant

6.) Clarence the disease-stricken test chimp

5.) Horse the all-white zebra

4.) Owl pellet the Mouse

3.) Condom the weiner dog

2.) Wobbly the constantly drunk cat

...And the number one answer is... Arnold the old man who sits around and indecently scratches himself