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This is going to be a page on my sister. I am not going to say her real name but so she knows who she is I will call her Squirrley. I Love you with all my heart and I wish there was something I could do to help you get through the tough times in your life. I hear you say you want to die and i just want to grab you and hug you. I am so sorry that life has delt you this shitty hand to deal with. Mine hasn't been to great either. I think if we worked as a family and as a team we could get through anything. But there is no trust and not much love either and thats all of our faults. We all feel like we are alone in this big mean world. We all have had to overcome the sometimes unimaginable shit in life that no one should ever have to see. But stop and think and remember there are 4 babies that love and need there mom to get better. and hunny rather you can see it or not your not well and you need to get that way to take care of your babies. Anyone that can talk about dieing and want to die as much as you do needs to stop and think. We dont do things to hurt you i never would hurt you I love you so much that it hurts to know I have had to make the kind of choices I have made. But they were not to hurt you they were to help you. and all I ever wanted was to see you get the help you so despretly need. Those butiful children are waiting for you to get well and you cant let them down. You can do it all you have to do is put your heart into it. Don't let the assholes in your life ruin your chances to get right. If they think there worth your babies they are so wrong. Those babies grew from your flesh they are here because you brought them here and showed them life. Its your job to get them started on there paths. You cant just close your eyes and die. your not allowed to die your children and your family say so. All I hear is what you have done wrong or what has been done wrong to you. I want to hear what has gone right. I want to hear that you have gotten them babies into your home and that your being the best mom in the world that you can be. I think If you have our love and accept it that you will be ready in no time at all. I love you so much please know that if nothing else. You say hurtful things to me but I know you love me. I know that the tears that come out of your eyes are for the lost you and the you that is screaming to get out. I would do anything to get you to see the way its gotta be. I would die to see you happy. If you could enjoy the life that has been giving to you instead of dread it then making it work would be so easy. If you ever needed a shoulder to cry on if you ever needed a ear to talk to or scream at our just to have someone sit and be there for you I would in a heartbeat anytime anyplace. I will be your pounching bag I will be anything you want me to be just to have you come back to me. And being here isnt what I mean I mean heart and soul i mean when you tell me you love me I eant to feel it and when you stop telling me you want to die I will beleive you want to try and get better. If you were gone my heart would be broken and it would be broken forever. Please get well. I need you to get well for your babies, and your family. We all want you to be happy we all need you to get the point that life is what you make of it and if you dont see that then your never going to see that you can fix it and you can make it work. your the one that knows you and your heart and your the one that knows that you can make life a lot better. I can help you only when you ask me. I will be here waiting for you to askl me and if I have to wait forever I will and if I have to cry a million more times I will. But I will never lose hope and I will never stop loving you. Just give life a chance and give your family a chance to love you as you need to be loved and get rid of all them people that drag you down in life and be a mom to your babies. Don't let a stranger fill your shoes. Get your babies home and kiss them hug them and be the one that tucks them in to there beds at night and reads them the storys and fairytails. Be the one that goes to the school plays and the one that tells them they cnat stay up that late and the one that baths them and dresses them and gets them off to school everyday. be a good mom and be a mom that listens to her kids and they will be ok. Be the best mom in the world and when your old and need to be taking care of your kids will be there to do it and to make sure your bathed dressed and loved. Your lucky you have 4 to do that for you I have only one and I hope she dont ever stop loving me I would die on the spot. Well I am going to go I just want you to know how much I love you and that I will do anything for you and you are my baby sister forever and no matter what I will be here for you. Please get well and please try and think good things about your life, I will prey for you and I will prey for your babies. I love them so much and I wish I could afford to take all of you into my home and take care of you so you can all be together. But reality ses I cant so its up to you know to get better I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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