Real World Namek

 

Episode #2

 

“Please Piccolo, I’m begging you!”

“No Kami, it’s not right!” Piccolo and Kami argued back and forth.  This had been going on for a good half-hour.

“What’s so wrong about it?” Kami argued.

“Using my body to make a booty call at an old folks’ home is wrong in and of itself but the fact that you’re like 90 is gross!  Besides Nameks don’t have sexual organs, so what are you planning to do!?!”

Kami thought for a moment before responding, “Why I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.”

“No!”  Piccolo stood firm.

“I was afraid it would come to this,” Kami said as he snapped his fingers.  Immediately Nail and Dende jumped out restraining Piccolo.

“So you were all in on this huh?” Piccolo asked looking up at Dende and Nail.  “But what’s in it for the two of you?”

“It is really none of your business but since you asked nicely Kami is going to buy me some more beer!  I’m still out,” Nail expained.

“That’s fine for you Nail but what do you get Dende?”

“Kami is going to let me watch.”

Piccolo and Nail glanced at the smiling Dende with equal looks of disgust on their faces before refocusing on Kami who had assumed the control position.  “Now to the geriatric retreat.”

“Get my beer first!” Nail shouted.

“Fine!” Kami responded.

After the decisively uncomfortable beer run where the store clerk fainted at the mere sight of the very threatening ultra-Namek, they found themselves at the old folks home that Kami had taken them to.  Kami entered and surveyed the area through Piccolo’s eyes making perverted comments to himself as Nail, Dende, and Piccolo watched on.  Kami’s eyes bulged out as he saw the hottest senior citizen he had ever seen.  He manipulated the ultra-Namek’s body to her.  Now to use my best pick-up line.  Kami concentrated and made the words come out Piccolo’s mouth.  Then a disturbance occurred that gave Piccolo the opportunity he needed.  He shoved Nail and Dende aside and pushed Kami away so he could regain the control position.

“What happened?” Nail and Dende asked standing back up.

“I got slapped,” Kami answered disappointed.

“What did you say to her?!” Dende asked.

Kami thought back and told them, “I just asked if she would like me to ‘put all her ducks in a row!’”