The last one to survive gets a million dollars.
What do you get?
Survivor
They all set out together again, that morning. Once again, Heero was gone at first light.
Throughout the night, Quatre had constantly looked into the shadows, waiting for Heero to pounce on him. Even though Wufei had lain on his one side and Duo the other (Wufei still wouldn't let Duo close to him), he still felt insecure.
But nothing had happened and Quatre woke up the next morning with purple rings under his eyes. He envied Duo his jumpiness and energy. The world was a happy place to be for him, as usual.
Wufei made Quatre's life easier by jokingly accepting Duo as a pupil. Duo, of course, thinking that Wufei was serious, happily obliged and clung onto him like a burr. And wherever Duo went, Quatre went.
So they were safe for now.
He listened as Duo and Wufei exchanged fighting techniques, arguing over which was better, American style or Chinese. Since Duo was now Wufei's official "pupil", he listened humbly as Wufei talked about the "Art of the Dragon". Quatre had no idea what Wufei was talking about, and he suspected Duo didn't either, but Duo seemed to be really listening, adding an occasional "Yes, master Chang," or "No, master Chang". Wufei scowled every time he said that but at least it was better than "Wu-wu".
Then came Duo's practice session. Quatre watched as Duo did a poor imitation of Wufei's "Hawk-flying-over-water" and landed on his bottom. Then came "The Blooming of the Lotus", "Grasshopper's Dance", and "Monkey in the Bush". That one, Duo almost broke his neck. Duo asked him if there was one for "dim-sum" but Wufei just glared.
"So, why do we have names for all these moves?" Duo panted, after unsuccessfully executing a "Tiger of Invisibility". He was as visible as a cow.
Wufei game him a withering look, and gave this reply. "Just the same reason you call a punch a 'punch' or an uppercut an 'uppercut'."
A look of revelation crossed Duo's eyes and he started into his lessons with a renewed vigor. This time, he managed to do something right (or, at least Quatre thought) but Wufei just raised his eyebrows.
"What was that?" he asked.
Duo gave him a triumphant smile. "I call that 'Scythe-grazing-rice-cakes'!"
Wufei just frowned but he continued watching.
Duo then did a fast arm-and-leg combo. This, he named "Chopsticks over Cheeseburgers".
Duo continued into his moves, inventing more as he went. "Stealth of the Chicken!" he yelled, or "Moonlight's Break Dance!". He almost knocked Quatre to the ground with "Death by Dumplings" but Quatre managed to just dodge out of the way.
Just. Duo was getting a lot better and even Wufei had to give him some credit for creativity.
Finally, Duo stopped to rest. By now, he had incorporated both American and Chinese fighting styles in his routine and it had turned out successful. Sometimes, Duo just had to learn in different ways.
Wufei smiled in approval, despite himself. Until Duo came over and gave him a big fat kiss.
"Yuck!" Wufei exclaimed, wiping the saliva from his cheek. "What is the meaning of this?"
Duo placed his palms together and bowed. "You have just received the 'Bacteria of Thankfullness'," he replied in a Wufei-like calmness, then quickly spun and darted away.
"Maxwell, you will pay for this!" Wufei cried. He chased Duo for the rest of the afternoon.
Heero arrived at the campsite empty-handed, again. Only Quatre knew the reason why.
Obviously, sticking together had worked, but now Heero was mad. Sitting across the fire from them while they sipped at their coconuts, he kept twitching unhealthily and reaching for his blade. The fire made his eyes seem red.
Quatre bit his lip and tried not to stare. Even Wufei noticied something wrong.
"What's wrong with you, Heero? You look like you've seen a ghost."
Heero's eyes darted to Wufei and glowered. Wufei glowered right back. They glowered back and forth for awhile, then Heero looked away and continued fingering his blade.
Wufei took a sip. "If you want, Heero, I could go hunting for some meat with you, if you just told me where it was located---"
"NO!" Quatre yelled. Everybody looked at him. "What I meant was...." Quatre racked his brains for an answer. It was still hard for him to lie. So he just told the truth. "Wufei still isn't well enough to, uh, hunt. I'm afraid that anything more vigorous would open up his wound again."
Wufei glanced at him in disgust. "Since when did I need a nursemaid?" he asked.
He caught Quatre's pleading look. Wufei decided to keep silent, for now. Whatever that Raberba boy had to say, it obviously had to wait until the others had gone. He shrugged and continued sipping from his coconut.
Heero looked over at Quatre and smiled. Heero knew! He must know! But he wasn't saying anything. What was that supposed to mean?
In panic, Quatre dropped his coconut bowl into the fire. It hissed and a sour smoke spewed out.
"Geez, watch it!" Duo cried, as he brushed embers from his smoking pants.
Through the smoke, Quatre could see Heero still watching him. Heero mouthed some words. "I will get you".
Quatre squeaked and backed away from the fire. Heero was still watching him and now he laughed, an evil, maniacal howl. Everyone stared at him. Heero never laughed unless he was planning to kill someone.
Wufei's eyebrows raised and he looked at Quatre. Quatre stared back. Wufei nodded and kept silent.
Duo stretched his arms over his head. "Time to sleep," he said, stifling a yawn.
Quatre was about to walk to the other end of the clearing to sleep when Duo called, "Hey, Quatre, where're you going?"
"I, uh,...." Quatre pointed from the ground to the edge of the trees, mouth opening and closing like a fish. He couldn't think of any excuse to sleep far from Heero.
Heero gave him a secret smile.
Quatre had to get Duo out of there!
"Why don't you come sleep over here, Duo? It's...definitely warmer from this side."
"Really?" Duo came over. "Wow, Quatre, you're right. Hey, Heero, come on over!"
Quatre stiffened. He wasn't counting on that.
Heero said nothing for a few suspensful seconds, then quietly shook his head. Quatre let out an audible sigh.
Quatre lay down on the grass, Wufei close beside him, wondering what the Raberba boy had to say. Duo sprawled out on Quatre's other side, instantly asleep.
Quatre talked to Wufei in conspired whispers. He watched Wufei's reactions as he recounted the entire story and his suspicions. Wufei ranged from barely-contained anger over Heero's attacking him to just moaning and holding his stomach at Trowa's demise.
Finally, when Quatre was done, Wufei stared into the darkness for awhile. Then he looked at Quatre.
"You sure you aren't just being weak?" he asked suspiciously.
Quatre shook his head, complete earnesty on his face.
Wufei nodded to himself, as if that answer satisfied him.
"Well, we can't do anything right now, what with that Maxwell character supporting him. So I propose we get rid of Maxwell first."
Quatre looked on, shocked. Not Wufei, too?
Wufei saw his expression and twisted his face in disgust. "I may be uncaring," he said, "but I'm not an animal. We'll just put Duo somewhere safe, tell him to stay put, then go down and..." Wufei grinned ferociously. "....hunt Heero."
Wufei smirked at the look on Quatre's face, then felt a little pity for him. "If it makes you feel better, I regret...," Wufei cleared his throat as if to prevent bile from coming out, "...eating your friend." Wufei was practically green with the effort.
Quatre patted his hand. "It's okay, just let it all out."
Wufei quickly got up and stalked over to the bushes. When he was done, a new resolve appeared on his face. "We will detain Maxwell tomorrow," he said, then collapsed on the grass and fell asleep.
The next morning, Heero disappeared.
And Duo was gone.
"So, where are we going?" Duo asked.
Heero didn't answer.
Heero let him walk in front, for once, and that was quite nice of him. They traveled through the trees, weaving in and out, never stopping, even when Duo asked for a rest. They were in a part of the jungle that Duo never seen before.
"So, where are we going?" Duo asked again.
Again, Heero didn't answer.
Duo shivered in excitement. They were going to go on a new adventure! And Heero had reserved it all for him. He put a finger to his lips. He wondered what it could be.
With that thought, he put a new bounce in his step.
Heero, surprised, tugged on Duo's braid to slow him down. Duo calmed down a little, but not much. He was too eager to get to whatever they were going to be doing.
Finally, they stopped at a humongous palm tree. Duo looked up. Man, he would love to get the coconuts on that one.
Someone grabbed his braid from behind.
"Hey!" he cried.
Out of the corner of his eyes, Heero was a blur, climbing up the tree.
The next thing Duo knew, he was pinned to the tree like pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey.
Duo jumped up and down, trying to unhook his braid from the stake stabbed through the very end. It was at least a foot too far from his reach.
Duo stopped when he realized it was futile. Besides, his roots hurt.
On the other side of the tree, Duo could hear Heero doing something. It sounded like metal grinding on metal.
"Heero, what are you doing?" He tried to walk around the tree to look but his braid prevented him.
Duo sighed, leaned back, and crossed his arms. "I thought we were going to do something fun," he complained.
"Oh, we are," Heero replied, not slowing down the grinding. "And you're the key player."
Duo lit up at that. Wow, he thought, Heero never let him be the main person before. Duo gave a smug smile. So, who's the boss now?
"Now, for the scent of blood."
The grinding noise suddenly stopped and Heero came around the tree.
He stepped right in front of Duo, holding a wicked looking dagger in front of his face. Duo, the expert scythe-wielder, grimaced. Whoever that was for, it would hurt. Heero hadn't had time to polish the sides so the edges were kind of raw. Rip and tear, Duo thought.
"What are you planning to do, Heero?" he asked. He thought that since he was the key player, he could at least be let in on the info.
"I need blood," Heero replied.
"Who's blood?" Duo quipped. When Heero held the dagger against his neck, he screeched.
"My blood? No way, man, I'm not going to be giving away any of my red stuff!"
As he babbled, Heero moved the dagger from his neck, to an arm, and then to a leg, tilting his head and experimenting on the best angle. Finally, he settled back on the neck.
"This won't hurt a bit," he said as an afterthought.
Duo could feel the sweat trickling down his neck. Or was it blood? Duo gulped and his jugular vein pulsed alarmingly, rubbing against the blade.
Rip and tear, he thought.
For no reason at all, Wufei drifted into his mind. He had no idea what Wufei was babbling about but the idea sounded pretty important. A punch was just a "punch"? Or was it something else?
He had no time to think at all as Heero pushed harder, the gritty edge of the blade biting against his skin.
A cut meant scars. And scars meant no girls!
Duo panicked.
"Brush of the Bumblebee!" he cried.
Heero stopped for a second, confused.
That was all that Duo needed. Reaching high behind his head, he wrapped his arms around the trunk of the tree and jumped, arms straining as he struggled to lift the lower part of his body.
One...two... his toes tapped lightly against Heero's chest and on three he kicked the blade out his grasp.
They both watched as it soared up into the air and Duo was thinking, Aw, man, that would just suck if that blade came plummeting back down on him when thunk!, it buried itself into the boughs of the tree.
The whole canopy shook for a second. They both watched, entranced, at a big juicy coconut slowly swaying from its perch. Then it stopped.
Duo licked his lips. Was it just him or was that big hairy coconut growing even bigger? Soon, it blotted out even the sun. He reached out his hands to catch it.
But it didn't fall towards him.
Instead, it landed squarely on Heero's head, the same way bird's drooppings always happen to land right in the middle of one's nice new shirt.
It burst on impact and Duo stuck out his tongue eagerly to catch some droplets before they fell to the ground. Coconut juice was running all down Heero's face and between his eyes.
He was still glaring. He really looked like some monster come out of a horror movie when he did that, what with the milky liquid running into his ears.
He stood there for a second. Then his pupils rolled into his head, showing the whites for one horrific instant before he fainted dead away.
"Nooooooooooo!" Duo cried. All that coconut juice going to waste.... Heero would last. But his coconut juice sure wouldn't!
Duo began to walk over to his fallen friend but his pinned braid prevented him. In a rage, he grabbed it and pulled but the stake stuck tight. Besides, any more and he would ruin his elastic band. Then what would he do?
Duo collapsed against the tree, ready to sulk. He never felt so helpless in his life.
"Duo. Duo!" A voice called to him from somewhere a distance off. Duo didn't even look. He just hung there, a dejected look on his face.
Someone ran up to him and grabbed his shoulders. It was Quatre. Quatre was calling his name, slapping his face, voice close to tears. Duo didn't even notice.
He could vaguely feel Wufei climb up the tree to unpin his braid, then he was falling, falling to the earth.
Quatre laid him gently on the ground. He was saying something like, "Too late, Wufei, we were too late."
Yes, too late, Duo agreed. Oh, his beloved coconut!
"And he was such a good student, too," he heard Wufei say.
What? What was this all about?
His lip curled into a slight smile. So, they thought he was dead!
He kept still, just to hear what else they had to say.
He heard a deep sob. Quatre? No, Quatre didn't sound like that. The only other person it could be was...Wufei.
Duo opened his eye a crack. Sure enough, it was Wufei and he was resting his head upon a tree, arm covered to hide his face. Wufei? Wufei was crying? Over him?
He felt Wufei come over to stand beside him. He slid his arms under Duo's - gently, Duo noticed - and Quatre rose to take his legs.
"A burial at sea would suffice for a warrior such as this one," he said in his "honour" voice.
Duo couldn't take it anymore.
He started to laugh.
"What?!" he heard Wufei cry. Then he was dropped violently onto the ground. He continued giggling.
When Wufei realized what was going on, his face turned red with rage.
"Maxwell! You will pay for this!"
Duo just continued laughing, even after Wufei gave him a kick in the ribs. It was just too much, the way Wufei broke down like that. Even Quatre was giggling.
Duo sat up. "Why would you think I was dead?" he asked, still snickering.
At that, Wufei and Quatre became serious again. Dead serious. The both looked over at Heero.
"What happened to him?" Wufei asked.
"Oh, it's a long story," Duo replied. "For some reason, he wanted my blood."
At the same time, Wufei and Quatre ran to Heero. Each grabbing an arm, they dragged him to the tree where Duo had been pinned up. Then, true to his nature, Quatre revealed a coil of rope from his shorts pocket. Strange, he didn't notice a bulge there before. It was just one of his things.
They trussed up Heero, for some reason, coils of thin rope going around and around. And around and around.
"Uh, is that really necessary?" Duo asked once.
"Yes!" they both replied.
By the time they were done, Heero was beginning to wake. He looked at the bonds that were tying him, then started to struggle. The whole tree was shaking with his efforts.
"Don't move, or they will only grow tighter," Wufei said. He was leaning against a tree, picking his nails.
"We're really sorry we have to do this," said Quatre, kneeling in front of Heero. Heero snarled and gnashed his teeth at him. Quatre quickly moved away.
"So, what's this all about?" Duo asked. He was busy looking at the coconuts far up in the tree. Heero's struggles were making them sway again.
They told him.
By now, Duo had caught the large coconuts that were dropping like flies. He surrounded himself with them like a fort. "So? What else is new?" he asked, not totally concerned.
Wufei raised an eyebrow.
Still tied up, they brought Heero to the beach. He was struggling the entire way.
Sweating, they plopped him on the sand. They didn't have long to wait.
Once again, a boat was rowed to shore. In it were three figures. The spokesperson, the cameraman, and...Relena?
She was sitting on the prow, ordering them to row faster, face all puckered up and wearing one of her ridiculously large hats. A big, pink eyesore. From a distance, they could smell the heavy perfume that she wore. It was almost as bad as the way she smelled last week. Maybe even worse.
"Heero!" she yelled when she arrived. Jumping out of the boat, she ran over to Heero, then started untying his bonds. "What have you boys done to him?" she cried. If the cameraman wasn't here, she would have been swearing at them and calling them all manner of names.
Quatre said, "Uh, I wouldn't do that if I were you."
As soon as Heero was untied, he calmly sat up and rubbed his arms while Relena was fawning all over him. Then he pushed her away and started after Duo again.
"Get him off the island! Get him off the island!" Quatre cried.
"Good. We thought so too." It took the man, the cameraman, the three boys, and Relena to get Heero onto the boat and on his way.
"Aw, man, why does everyone want to kill me?" Duo asked.
Before they left, the spokesperson said, "Oh, yes, and your friend, Trowa? The tall one?"
Quatre nodded.
"We don't know where he is, but all we can say is that he is still alive."
Quatre and Wufei looked at each other. If that wasn't Trowa that night, then what...?
Only Heero knew.
"The perfect soldier," Duo said
When Cupid Strikes....