The last one to survive gets a million dollars.
What do you get?
Survivor
Rules: You must survive on the island with nothing but the clothes on your backs. At the end of each week, one person is kicked off the island by a unanimous vote between yourselves and/or the viewers watching this show until only one "survivor" is left. This person will get a prize of one million dollars. Every action that you do will be videotaped and aired on public television...
"What?!"
...except for sanitary functions.
"Phew." A sweatdrop disappears from Quatre's face.
"Awww, shucks."
Everybody stares at Duo, frowning.
"A million dollars..." Wufei contemplates, rubbing his chin. He already has a calculated look on his face. No...wait. That's normal.
The G boys plus Relena are all sitting in the briefing room of a ship headed to their destination of an unknown island on Earth, listening to the intercom make its announcement. Quatre's face was practically green with sea-sickness. He was already better off. Everyone else besides Duo had thrown up over board at least three times while Duo was prancing around on deck, saluting to the sailors, and basically making everybody's lives miserable.
Life as a gundam pilot doesn't come cheap (except for Heero's that is - get it? His quote?) and, for a fast-cash opportunity, as Duo says, he persuaded the boys to sign up for another one of his crazy ventures. He had also secretly signed up Relena's name, as a joke, even though she already had enough money to buy off this entire show's network. Oddly enough, they had all been nominated to be the participants in Survivor. It looks as if people really do want to see what would happen if you add the five G boys and a deserted island together. Hmmm. Oh, yeah. And Relena too. But who really cares?
Up ahead, the island that was to be their home for the next five weeks loomed in the distance. Everybody who was able, ran, crawled, staggered, to the deck to see. It was big enough that everyone could get their own personal space but not big enough to be put on any map. A bunch of palm trees grew in the middle. That was it.
"What?" Relena gasped. "Excuse me, but---"
"Wow," Duo breathed. "Not much different from a gundam's cramped quarters, actually." He was already rubbing his hands together, thinking about which part of the island he would claim for his own, which was not much.
The ship stopped abruptly and the next moment, all six of them were dumped unceremoniously overboard.
"What?" Relena asked for the second time as she was thrown overboard and did a humongous belly-flop into the water. Water drizzled over her head and into her ears, her dress was dragging her drown, she was drowning. "Help!" she exclaimed before she went under again. "Heero!" She thrashed about wildly, then wondered why no one was coming to save her.
The boys were all standing on the sandy beach, looking around, shading their eyes from the sun shining brightly overhead. It was a very nice day. Until a familiar shriek filled the air.
"Heero!"
Heero winced while Wufei covered his ears. "Shut up, woman!" he cried.
They all watched as Relena flopped around in the metre-high water like a dead fish.
Finally, Heero couldn't take it any longer. "Stand up!" He ordered. It was the first words he had said all day.
It took a while for the words to register. When Relena finally stood up, she saw that Duo was rolling around on the beach, holding his stomach while he laughed his head off. Even Quatre was giggling a little and he quickly looked away when he realized she saw. Both Heero and Wufei were glaring, baking in the sun while Trowa, as usual, revealed nothing.
"That is not funny!" she cried, throwing a Relena fit. She waved her arms about in the air (Re: Raberba dance in Personal Ads) then began to make her slow way towards the beach, her expensive gown dragging her down. Quatre, ever the gentleman, ran out to help her.
Finally, everyone was settled on the beach, just sitting and resting. When everybody got migraines, they moved into the shade.
Duo was the first to break the silence. "You know what? I'm hungry." Actually, everyone was hungry by this point but they didn't want to be the first to admit it, on account of personal pride. Duo didn't seem to notice.
"I propose we go on a search for food," Relena said importantly. Heero and Wufei rolled their eyes, thinking as if that weren't obvious enough already. Relena pretended to ignore them, then got up and said, "Duo, you're coming with me."
"What!" he said. (This seems to be a favourite word of the day.) "Why me?" he squeeked.
Relena just glared with hands on her hips. She had thought that by ordering Duo to accompany her, Heero would get jealous but he appeared to be just staring at a seagull flying overhead. "Hmph," she said and began to stalk away. There were audible sighs among the group. Then glares all around directed at Duo, accusing him for signing Relena up. Duo just shrugged, got up to follow Relena, before first saying as he left, "Remember, the survivor gets a million dollars!"
At that, everybody got up and began searching for food.
Relena was angry. Why did Heero only listen to Duo and not to her? She didn't understand and she was upset that she was upset at Duo. Was she jealous? That was impossible! What could she possibly be jealous about?
She watched as Duo stalked in front of her. He was holding his hands behind his head, whistling a mindless tune as he weaved in and out of the palm trees. In fact, with that annoying braid of his, he looked just like a girl from behind! Weird how she never noticed that before. Could it be...? No! She did not allow herself to think such thoughts. It was just too ridiculous.
"Hey, you coming?" he called. He was already scrambling up a palm tree like a monkey, braid swaying to and fro. She quickly shook her head and went to stand under the tree. What was that boy doing?
"Bombs away!" Duo cried a split second before something hard conked her on the head. Tears welled to her eyes. She was about to cry.
Duo, seeing this, was going to make a quick apology but when he saw her glaring at him, thought better of it and continued his search for more coconuts. Geez, what did that lady have against him anyway? Besides being alive?
The next coconut she caught in her dress, making it like a hammock so that the coconuts wouldn't fall out. No worry about her showing her underwear. She had plenty of layers under that.
At least she's smart enough to do that, Duo thought. In fact, from this angle, looking down at the top of her head, he could almost even see down her dress....
Bonk! A coconut hit him on his head and he scrunched his face and started rubbing at it. Never mind. She was Heero's anyway.
From down below, Relena had no idea any of this had passed. She only thought that Duo looked more like a monkey now, rubbing his head. "Okay," she called. "Onto the next tree."
Somehow they all found each other, which wasn't very hard, considering the island was so small, and everyone showed up to reveal what they had found.
Relena arrived in their designated "meeting spot" with a triumphant grin on her face, towing the exhausted Duo behind. A large pile of coconuts rested in her dress while Duo was juggling a whole bunch in his arms. When Relena finally stopped, he let fly all the coconuts and collapsed on the grass, instantly asleep and murmuring something about making coconut pie. Two coconuts were still cradled in his arms and he hugged these possessively, not even letting go when Quatre tried to pry them away.
Everyone else was already sitting there, waiting with disinterested looks on their faces. Both Heero and Wufei had found nothing, and Quatre had some strange looking plants with him that he claimed were edible but no one wanted to find out.
That left Trowa. He was gazing at a flower he had plucked, apparently lost in its depths. "There's an oasis over that way," he said, gesturing with his hair.
Everyone snapped out at that, even Duo, and raced to be the first to the oasis.
"Wait!" Relena called as everyone disappeared in a puff of smoke. "What about my coconuts?"
No one answered her and she sighed and began gathering the coconuts together. She was a minute into gathering when someone tapped her lightly on the shoulder.
She looked up. It was Trowa.
"I'll help you prepare them," he said.
Everyone was chilling in the oasis in their boxers when Relena and Trowa came in. Somehow, between the two of them, they had managed to cut open the coconuts and made straws poking out of each of them using the hollow reeds from plants. These were then carried in on tray-like palm leaf fronds. An exotic heaven. If you were into this stuff.
"And it was all thanks to Trowa," Relena proclaimed, looking meaningfully at Heero. He appeared to be looking off into the distance.
At that proclamation, the three other boys looked at Trowa with a newfound respect. Actually, it was not because that he could prepare such an exotic delicacy, which was amazing in itself, but more because he could stand to be around Relena for so long.
When everyone was served, they all sat back and relaxed.
"Maybe this was a good idea after all, Maxwell," Wufei said. Duo knew that it would be the closest to a thank-you that he would ever get. He smiled and decided that he wouldn't bug Wufei. For now.
"So, what are we going to do for tonight?" Quatre asked, always the practical one.
"I say everyone finds their own spot to camp for tonight and survive on their own," said Heero. He didn't look like he was joking.
"After all," Wufei added, "isn't that the object to this..." he had a disgusted look on his face, "...game?"
So maybe he doesn't enjoy this island vacation after all, Duo thought, then instinctively thought up ways that he could make Wufei's life miserable.
"I'm up to it," Relena said. Everyone suddenly had their eyes upon her, surprise written all over their faces. Although it would have been better if she could have been alone with Heero, too, but maybe she could prove to them all that she was capable of surviving on her own. She sniffed and looked away. "Duo?" she challenged.
"Yeah, sure, what a great idea!" he said, not even listening. He just wanted her to shut up while he practiced squirting water. The spout was coming perilously close to Wufei.
Trowa somehow managed to keep his flower the entire time he was preparing the coconut drinks. Now, he was fiddling with it again. Everyone took that to mean a yes.
Now, it was only Quatre. He looked afraid. "But we all have to work together," he insisted, his voice rising to a squeek.
"No, we don't," said Wufei. "Was it in the rules?"
"Well, no, but---"
Wufei was already getting out of the water, gathering up his clothes. "Awww, shucks," said Duo. He missed at his one chance and sunk his head into the water.
Soon, everybody had left and parted ways except for Quatre, who hung around by the water, and Duo, who was trying to see how long he could stay underwater before his brain exploded. He really liked doing weird things like that.
Finally, he couldn't stand it any longer and burst out of the water. Quatre squeeled a little as he was splashed and backed away. But not enough to be alone.
"Hey, what are you still doing here?" Duo asked, arms crossed at the edge of the pool. He did a backwards flip and started swimming on his back until he reached the other side of the pool in which he promptly bumped his head and yelped.
Quatre sighed and shook his head. Hanging out with Duo was the last thing he wanted to do in a game of survival but he didn't want to be alone either. He sighed again.
"Hey, where did everybody go?" Duo finally realized. He looked about in confusion.
"They all left, remember?" said Quatre.
"Oh," Duo said, not very concerned. With a group like that, he was used to people wandering off. "You know what? I'm hungry again. Let's go look for food."
Quatre nodded and helped Duo fetch his clothes. When they were ready, they left the oasis and wandered off on their own. Duo didn't ask why Quatre was sticking with him and Quatre didn't volunteer an answer. A perfect match.
Quatre was tired. They had been wandering the island for hours and all Duo seemed to want to do was look for more coconuts. Right now, Quatre was munching on his fifth one and Duo on his eighth and still no one in sight. Quatre thought that if he even so much as saw one more coconut, he would throw up. Duo chucked his most recent coconut over his shoulder, leaving behind a trail of empty shells. He was about to go eagerly searching for more when Quatre tugged on his braid to stop him from running off.
"Shouldn't we be looking for some sort of shelter, or something?" The sky was already darkening and the horizon showed a beautiful sunset making the island all orangey-gold.
"What a great idea!" Duo said, as if the thought never occurred to him before. Which it probably hadn't. He started marching blindly in one direction.
"Wait up!" Quatre cried. He caught Duo's arm. "What I meant was, maybe we should try to build ourselves a fire, or some such neccessary survival tool, or---"
Duo shrugged him off and looked at him weirdly. Duo just didn't understand that if you wanted something, you had to make it. Duo was more used to stealing it. This all went through Quatre's mind in a second and he promptly gave up at trying to explain such a complicated way of thinking to Duo. Besides, Duo had the attention span of a gnat. By now, he was already flitting off into the trees, doing his own thing.
Quatre shook his head and continued to follow, wondering why he did.
It was night. Everything was pitch black. Crickets were chirping. Why there always seemed to be crickets at night, even on a deserted island, was a mystery.
*Crunch*
"You know, these actually taste pretty good, if you don't really think about it." Duo held out a squashed mass to Quatre, who politefully declined. Duo shrugged in a "your loss" kind of fashion and continued munching. An antenna was still twitching on the side of his cheek. Quatre shuddered and quickly looked away.
"Hey, do you smell that?" Duo sniffed the air, his keen nose picking up a scent. He rose from the bushes and began stalking off, Quatre following close behind, not wanting to get lost in the dark.
They walked for a few more minutes, then suddenly Duo stopped and held a finger to his lips. Quatre wanted to know what was going on but kept quiet anyway. Instead, he crept over beside Duo to see what was up. They were looking into a small clearing. Light from a campfire shone through the leaves, revealing a happy Relena, cooking what looked to be a big slab of meat over the fire. Quatre was about to go over to ask for some food when Duo pushed him down and told him to look towards the side of the clearing. He did. It was Heero.
"Almost ready, Heero," she was saying, turning the meat over to cook on the other side. The meat was obviously Heero's doing, though where Heero could find an animal to kill on an island in the middle of nowhere, nobody knew.
Heero, as usual, looked disinterested. Instead, he was lying on his back, log behind his head, looking up at the stars. He turned his body suddenly and from his new vantage point, caught Quatre's eye. Quatre quickly looked away, feeling as if he had been caught doing something inappropriate. Such as eavesdropping. When he looked again, Heero was staring at where Duo was hidden.
Quatre was pretty sure that Heero had caught them spying on him and Relena but he wasn't about to say anything. Quatre sighed in relief and waited to see what Duo would do next.
Duo continued watching the hunk of meat with hawk eyes, his mouth salivating as it roasted over the open fire. The wheels were already churning in his head as he decided the best course in which he would transfer the meat from the spit to his stomach. All of a sudden, Quatre was afraid for Relena.
"All done," said Relena, and she got up and placed the meat on a palm frond to bring over to Heero when Duo made a really strange sound with his mouth.
"Errererwewwophhhht."
Relena stopped where she was and looked around.
Duo did it again, even louder, and this time Relena looked scared. A third time and Relena had dropped the meat on the grass and was running over to Heero, tugging on his arm and trying to get him up from his log. Heero stayed put like a rock.
Duo snickered while Quatre's face was slowly turning red with embarrassment. Being on all those hunting expeditions with his fellow Arabians had taught him a few things about animals...including their mating calls. Duo was inadvertedly imitating a rhinocerous'.
Duo did it one last time and Quatre winced. Duo didn't know it but he was extremely accurate. Quatre quickly looked around, just to make sure. You never know.
Without warning Duo burst from the trees, a raging rhinocerous on a rampage. His braid whipped behind him in the air, looking like some deadly weapon while the firelight made his eyes light up in an unearthly glow. Even Quatre was surprised at the hunger in those eyes.
As expected, Relena screamed. She ran off into the night still screaming and yelling for Heero. Her voice blessedly faded off into the distance.
"Yeah!" said Duo and ran to Quatre for a high-five, even though he didn't do anything. When he ran up to Heero for the same, Heero just glared at him.
"What took you so long?" he said.
Relena's back!