Hey! You can't do that!
Just shut up and keep rolling. (Duo quickly smiles charmingly at the camera)
Ethnicity: American
Age: 17
Height: 5 feet 2 inches
Hey! Didn't I tell somebody to change that to 5 feet 7 inches?! Hellooo? I've grown, I tell you! (quickly stretches out on couch to seem taller) *Camera-man compensates by zooming out for a new horizontal view*
Weight: 95 lbs
Kudos to that, too!
Hair colour: brown
Don't forget the 4 foot braid! (Duo unwittingly flicks it behind his head like a girl)
Back home: Heero raises an eyebrow.
Wufei shakes his head in hopelessness.
Trowa - no response.
That's cobalt blue.
Blue.
Coba...! Okay, fine, whatever.
Occupation: pilot
Cobalt blue! Ha ha, got you there! Yeah, that's me, pilot of the Deathsythe Hell, the most powerful gundam in the universe!
Back home: Wufei stands up and starts swearing at the T.V., shaking a fist in the air.
Trowa - no response.
Hey, Wu-wu! I know you're watching! (Duo winks at the camera)
Back home: Wufei yells in rage and starts hitting the T.V. screen, trying to punch through the part where Duo's face is located. No one stops him.
...(has no idea what is going on or how his job has suddenly been taken over by a 17-year-old)
(Duo, as is habit, continues talking) Yes, to all you ladies out there, here's your chance to get to know the greatest gundam pilot of all time, ME! Shinigami, God of Death, I'll be whatever name you want me to be, baby! (Duo raises shirt for the viewers to get a taste of what they're going to get)
Off-screen: Quatre could be heard scolding like an angry mother, telling Duo to put his shirt back down.
(Duo raises it even higher. Viewers get a nice look at Duo's abs)
On-screen: Quatre runs up to Duo and tries frantically for Duo to put his shirt back down. Then, realizing that he's on camera, blushes, squeeks, and quickly runs off-screen.
(Duo calls after him) Don't worry Quatre! You'll get your turn soon!
*The Camera-man swings to Quatre, enjoying this too much*
On-screen: Quatre just stands there, turning redder every moment
Off-screen: (Duo is oblivious to what is happening around him and is now talking to himself about himself, which is not unusual.)
~~~10 minutes later~~~
On-screen: Quatre is now as red as a beet
Off-screen: (After finishing talking about the time when he lost his first tooth, Duo finally realizes that the camera is not on him.) Hey, you! Look at me! (he is ignored. Duo thinks for a moment, which is quite rare, then gets a bright idea, which is always bad news. He fiddles with a gadget in his hands which, until now, was hidden away in his jacket pocket. He smiles innocently) Hey, wanna see something really cool?
*Camera-man finally turns around, getting bored*
Everyone, I would like you all to meet...the Deathscythe Hell!!! (Duo whips out what was hidden behind his back - a remote control. A rumbling fills the room. The ceiling cracks. Debris starts raining down. Duo needlessly opens the door and the whole wall comes crashing down around him. He is left holding just the doorknob.)
*The Camera-man drops the camera in fright and runs away*
Off-screen: Quatre stares in disbelief as the head of the Deathscythe Hell is peering through the big hole in the wall. Or, rather, what wall?
Off-screen: Hey, Quatre, what're you waiting for? I still got an ad to do!
Off-screen: Quatre, just glad to be doing anything besides being on-camera, picks up the camera and starts filming.
*The camera is finally righted and Duo is standing there in a typical Duo pose, with a big grin on his clueless face*
And this, here, viewers, is the other love of my life (the first being you, of course!) my gundam!
Back home: Heero smiles at all the destruction in the filming studio.
For a good time, my ad number is 666, my favourite colour is black, and now I'm going to sing a song to you all, which is something that I would REALLY love to do! (Duo starts into a broken rendition of Kitto OK, singing at the top of his lungs while in the background, his gundam is being a backup dancer)
Back home: Everyone races to be the first to shut off the T.V.
Off-screen: Quatre sighs, realizing that he's going to be in for a really long day, then wonders if Duo would notice if he snuck off.
(Duo doesn't notice)
Off-screen: Duo tells Quatre its going to be fun and gestures encouragingly.
Category - Male seeking female; male seeking male
Duo!
Off-screen: Duo stuffs his braid into his mouth to keep from laughing.
Back home: Trowa - no response
Ethnicity: Arabian
Off-screen: Duo yells out Quatre's name, rolling the Raberba off his tongue in a cat-like accent.
(Quatre winces as everybody tuning into the show finds out his embarrassing middle name)
Age: 17
You sure don't look seventeen, kid. What's your real age?
Seventeen!
Okay, okay, touchy.
Height: 5 feet 2 inches
Weight: 90 lbs
(Quatre smiles shyly and tilts his head, letting the studio lights catch his hair at a certain angle)
*The light reflecting off the platinum-blond hair temporarily blinds the camera-man*
Eye colour: blue
Back home: Trowa realizes that Quatre's baby blues matches the vest he's wearing. He smiles in approval. (What, no response?!)
Occupation: pilot
Of the Sandrock. (Quatre grins bashfully)
Off-screen: Duo has a thoughtful look on his face.
Interests: ---
Off-screen: Duo interrupts and yells for Quatre to do his Raberba dance, cheering and caterwauling.
Countless millions hear Duo on T.V. and call the show's network, requesting for the Raberba dance.
(Quatre stands there with a shocked look on his face, not knowing what to do)
Off-screen: Everybody working on the show yells for Quatre to do the Raberba dance because the phone lines are tying up.
(Quatre gulps and makes up an excuse) Uh...I need the right music, you see.
Off-screen: Duo shouts and waves a cassette tape around in the air.
Off-screen: The show's workers all claw at the tape and jam it into the studio's sound system. A flute and violin duet flows out.
(Quatre has a shocked look on his face while everyone stares at him expectantly)
On-screen: Duo has snuck up behind Quatre and is now grabbing Quatre's wrists, having control of his arms. He moves them around in a strange fashion.
(Quatre flails about helplessly. When Duo finally lets go, Quatre is flung away on his own and he sways and dips in what is known as...the Raberba dance)
Everyone ooohs and aaahs at the snake-like quality of this Arabian dance.
(Quatre finally regains his balance after being flung and straightens up)
Off-screen: The studio hands are clapping.
(Quatre looks confused)
Off-screen: Duo's voice is heard proclaiming the end of the Raberba dance.
Off-screen: Everyone yells for an encore.
(A loud booming shakes the air.) This sounds familiar. (As the sound gets louder, Quatre's eyes widen in recognition.) Uh oh. (The entire ceiling of the newly revamped studio gets ripped away, revealing Quatre's Sandrock. With his entire personal army of killer Arabians. A loud mechanical voice is heard, telling Quatre to get out of the way of danger)
*The camera-man is shaking. He thinks, oh no, not again, and drops the camera*
Off-screen: Duo grabs it up and starts filming the documentary of gundams.
On-screen: Everyone is running for cover while the gundams release their barrage of weapons and start firing blindly away.
~~~30 seconds later~~~
*The studio is in ruins. Again.*
Back home: Heero smiles at all the destruction in the filming studio. Trowa - no response.
*Duo zooms up on Quatre's face*
I'm sorry.