Back to School Special

“Shhh,” Duo whispered. He put a finger to his lips, then looked back down, continuing to work on Quatre’s transmitter.

Wufei sighed. This is what he got for Relena assigning dorm rooms. Maybe the woman WAS evil. Wait. What was he saying? All women are evil!

Duo started biting on the end of his braid, something he did when he wasn’t biting on something else. He must have been one vicious kid when he was younger. Wufei shivered and discreetly pulled up the blanket to cover his exposed arms. Even though it was about 90ºF in there.

“I think I’m picking up something,” Duo said. The screen lit up his face and he was rapidly pushing buttons. He looked like he was playing a fishing game. “I think I’m definitely picking up something.”

Wufei’s mouth opened in an O once again. The things that came out of Duo’s mouth were so ridiculous, that Wufei had no idea what to reply. He lay back in bed, resigned. All of a sudden…

Wufei threw the blanket off of him. “You are sooo dead Maxwell. No, you are more than dead. You are BEYOND dead.” As Wufei said this, he began digging around in his suitcase for his sword. Then, realizing it wasn’t there (Relena’s School of PACIFISM, remember?), he went to the windows and tried to open them. He waited.

The smell was not dissipating! Arrg! Wufei clung his head in frustration. If anything, the humid air, no, MIASMA, refused to leave the room! Finally, something that Wufei could not defeat.

Wufei looked around and held his nose. Then there was only one thing left to do.

Quickly grabbing up his important things, a.k.a. stuff that he did not want the smell to linger on tomorrow morning, Wufei shoved himself outside. He finally breathed. Then, walking down the hall barefoot and in his silky red dragon pajamas, Wufei went next door. He knocked.

Trowa answered, apparently still muggy in sleep. He rubbed his eyes, then looked blearily at Wufei. He rubbed them again. Seeing Wufei standing there angrily in his red pajamas wasn’t exactly normal, even for the likes of Trowa.

Wufei thought up several scenarios. He wasn’t exactly sure who are what was on Trowa’s good list right now. Apparently, Trowa didn’t like being waken up in the middle of the night. He decided to opt for the truth.

“May I sleep in your room tonight? Duo farted.” Wufei did all this with a very straight face, sounding very polite as it was.

Wufei bowed thankfully, and closed the door behind them.

He was tossing and turning, even on his most comfiest of beds, but he still couldn’t get one thing out of his mind – that d*** fly.

Quatre had dutifully checked out all his pillows, ALL his pillows, including the ones on the bed. It took him about half an hour, NOT because he had painstakingly examined each one. But because he had so many. It was like finding a needle in a haystack!

He had finally given up and now lay moodily, staring up at the curtains of his canopy bed. Whoever did this to him (he had a very good idea who it was) would certainly be facing a very mad Quatre tomorrow. And a very tired one. Yes, he was growing tired. Very tired, oh gosh, what time was it?

Quatre tried looking at his bedside digital clock, but the numbers were growing fuzzy. He blinked several times and tried to stay awake long enough to read the numbers but nothing seemed to be working.

Quatre finally rolled onto his back and gave up. The canopy ceiling had turned into one big blur.

The last thing that Quatre thought of before he died was about his home in Arabia and all of his sisters being there with him.

The perpetrator, who was wearing a dark mask and dark body suit hung outside Quatre’s room for awhile. After making sure that the blond boy was dead, he/she left the room and stalked back towards the direction of the dome.

A flicker of light coming from the hall lamps shone on his/her hair momentarily before darkness resubmerged. The hair was golden brown.

“You know what?” Duo said, munching forcefully on a bagel. “It’s not like Quatre to be late.”

Him, Trowa and Wufei were sitting in the school cafeteria, eating their breakfast.

Everyone passing by their table stared at Duo as they passed. He was on his third tray. And he was still not done. “I need a lot to get started so early in the morning,” was all he said.

Wufei was daintily sipping some carrot soup. His bowls and utensils were arranged VERY neatly on his tray. It looked like a showcase. He wiped his mouth with a napkin. “Leave him. I wouldn’t be surprised if the causes of his insomnia were because of you.”

At a table next to them, some girls started giggling. Duo smiled at them innocently and they quickly looked away. He shrugged and continued eating.

Trowa had not eaten anything. A single piece of toast and an unopened packet of butter was all that adorned his tray. His sewing kit was still with him, though. Duo sometimes wondered if Trowa ever ate. He bet the toast was just a cover up. “Hey, can I have that?” he asked, eyeing it hungrily, even though he was holding grapes in one hand and a sausage in the other.

Trowa shrugged blandly and pushed the tray over. Duo immediately started downing the toast. Miraculously, he had used no hands.

“You would take food from a starving man,” Wufei said dryly, then lapped up the rest of his soup. He wiped his mouth with the napkin again. His napkin was already covered with various Wufei-lip stains from previous usage.

“No, I wouldn’t,” Duo said, gauging the length of the lineup for some more food, then the distance to someone else’s tray on another table. That person was still eating, even. “I’m usually that starving man.”

Trowa, who had been sitting very quietly the entire time, suddenly slammed his hands down on the table. Everyone jumped, including the people at nearby tables who were in close proximity. Trowa’s head was down, and his hands were trembling.

Duo stopped eating long enough to duck his head down and stretch it out like a turtle towards Trowa. “Trowa, are you hungry?”

Wufei shook his head in a “no” motion at Duo but Duo got up anyway, still holding a grape and walking around the table to Trowa’s side. He crouched down.

Trowa was still looking at the ground. Now, he was breathing heavily and sweating rapidly.

Duo slowly craned his neck up until he was face-to-face with Trowa. “I-can-see-you,” Duo said in a singsong voice. He smiled sweetly.

Trowa slowly turned to look at Duo. Trowa looked very sad. “I want to visit Quatre,” he said. All of a sudden, he was sounding very young.

Duo, if he was at all surprised, didn’t show it. He merely nodded in agreement and took Trowa’s hand. “Come on, Trowa. I’ll take you to Quatre.”

Trowa slowly got up, dragging Duo with him. Duo picked up Trowa’s yellow sewing kit and handed it to him.

Duo, without Trowa seeing, immediately made this facial expression at Wufei that said “COME ON, JUST PLAY ALONG!”

Duo made another face, one eyebrow up and mouth squidged. Ditch class, Trowa’s in trouble!

Wufei had a contemplative look while he thought it out. He squinted his eyes, remembering. First class is History. He frowned. Naaahhh. He got up and nodded at Duo.

Duo had nooooo idea what just went on through Wufei’s face, but at least he was agreeing to come. One point for Duo, he had actually made Wufei skip class!

Altogether, they left the cafeteria and walked in the opposite direction of where everyone else was going. They were going to see Quatre.

Duo was knocking on the door of Quatre’s room very loudly. “Come on Quatre, we know you’re in there!” He continued rapping.

They had been standing outside Quatre’s regal door for at least a minute. The hallway was completely empty as everyone had already gone to class.

Duo looked through the peephole, but of course he would see nothing. He tried knocking again. His knuckles were beginning to turn red.

But Trowa started tugging on his hand again. He seemed adamant that they were to enter that room. Man, why were they doing this for Trowa? Then again, Trowa never really asked for much, so when he did, it was usually very important.

Duo sighed. He turned to his last resort. Although Quatre told him to break his habits and never to do this, he was out of ideas and Trowa’s hand was getting SWEATY!

Releasing Trowa’s hand for the first time, Duo snagged out a hairpin from his long braid and started working that keyhole.

Well, the first thing that everyone noticed was that all the pillows were upturned. Duo smirked. He more or less figured that Quatre would do something like that. They walked in further.

As if reading everyone’s mind, Wufei observed, “He’s still there, he’s probably just buried in there somewhere.”

Duo made a little embarrassed laugh. So that’s what it looked like when someone was lying in Quatre’s bed. He completely forgot how soft it was.

Lying flat on his back, just like Duo had been when he was in here just yesterday, Quatre was sunk deep among the soft mattress. He looked very peaceful.

“Quatre?” Trowa reached down to touch Quatre’s forehead but everyone knew it would already be cold. He did it anyway.

Duo’s head started spinning. He put his hand on the edge of the mattress to steady himself but he forgot how soft it was and nearly fell in with Quatre.

He ended up face-to-face with Quatre, Duo breathing warm air on his friend. Nothing reciprocated.

Wufei had taken the time to quietly detach himself from the bed. He stood in front of Quatre’s screen doors that led to Quatre’s personal balcony. His hands were behind his back and he was simply staring at nothing outside. No one needed to say that Wufei was upset. Wufei always faced his problems head-on.

Trowa had started sewing. He sat on one of Quatre’s upturned pillows and had begun stitching a piece of fabric, looking both controlled and about to explode at the same time. It had taken the boys about a day to figure out that, whenever Trowa sewed like that, he did NOT want to be bothered.

“Quatre,” he cried, falling down on the bed and hugging his unresponsive friend. He couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks, which were warm and rosy, unlike Quatre’s. He hugged Quatre as if he was afraid that, were he to let go, Quatre would disappear. But the most important part of Quatre was already gone. “Who did this to you?” he finally asked.

Everyone around the room shifted uncomfortably. How and when did Quatre die? And, most importantly, why? Why would anyone want to kill such an innocent boy?

Wufei and Trowa weren’t sure whether Duo was addressing them or addressing the dead Quatre. They turned around anyway.

Wufei had finally come back to the bed, a new resolve on his face. It must have been from Duo’s first question. Who really did this to Quatre?

Wufei, after gently shoving Duo off of Quatre, bent over and examined the lifeless boy. No, body. There was no “boy” left in Quatre.

Duo sniffed and, out of curiosity, started watching. First, Wufei took all of Quatre’s vital pulses. You never knew. But this time, they were unlucky. Wufei proclaimed Quatre officially dead. Duo cried again. On a cushion, they could hear one of Trowa’s threads snap.

Wufei continued his examination relentlessly. All feelings had been swept through the door (rather, pounded, hammered, and mightily forced through – Wufei’s door was going to be broken down any minute) but he had to do it. Other people’s lives were at stake.

Wufei frowned, after examining Quatre’s eyelids. He opened Quatre’s mouth. Had he choked? No, he wasn’t that bloated. No stab marks either. Wufei sighed. Then, suddenly….

Wufei held up one of Quatre’s hands. Spidery lines had begun to appear where Quatre’s veins were. They weren’t there a few seconds ago. Everyone watched as the lines began to darken.

“Poison,” Wufei said, furrowing his brows. Duo began to reach over and touch Quatre but Wufei slapped his hand away. “Idiot. You don’t know if it’s contagious,” he said.

“I have conditioned myself against such things. There are only a few I know of that would kill me. And this is not one of them.”

“So I’m saying that, if there was possibly a way to prevent being poisoned by a particular substance, then…”

“Not so fast,” Wufei said. He always ended up putting a damper on things. “It completely depends on when Quatre died and the condition of his body while it happened. If he is weak, then he will perish. Permanently.”

Trowa frowned. He was standing at the foot of the bed, hands on the end board. His sewing had long lain discarded somewhere. “You are saying there is an antidote?”

“Quite possibly.” Wufei nodded. “But I think we would need an expert in order to determine what that is. To me, this type of poison looks quite exotic, so it could possibly come from Asia. That is similarly where the antidote may lay.”

Wufei clapped his hands in front of Duo’s face. He had zoned out with all that info. “If you want to do something about Quatre, then I suggest you do it quick. If Quatre’s brain dies completely, there will be nothing we can do to save him.”

“I mean Mechs!” Duo grabbed up Quatre’s ornate phone and started dialing the school hospital. Mechs was the only person that Duo could trust in this school right about now.

Wufei crossed his arms. “I’m going to go to library to see if I can find any information concerning this poison. What about you?” He was addressing Trowa.

Trowa looked at Duo. “I think I will stay here. And make Duo take a bath. He may already have been infected.”

Wufei looked at the spastic Duo, arguing with one of the hospital workers. “You just may be right.”

Everyone had regrouped in Quatre’s room by sunset. Wufei had borrowed several ancient-looking encyclopedias, and the dust was making him sneeze every minute on the dot. Trowa handed him several tissue-boxes.

“Thank you,” Wufei said gratefully. He accidentally sneezed right on Trowa’s hand. “Sorry,” he said groggily.

“That is okay,” Trowa replied matter-of-factly. He wiped his hand on one of the tissues that he had bought.

Duo was sitting by Quatre’s bedside with Zechs. No…Mechs. Once Mechs had arrived at the door, Trowa and Wufei had both blinked in surprise and reacted much the same way Duo had the first time he had met Mechs. Mechs asked Duo who Zechs was. Duo said it was a long story.

Mechs had examined Quatre and had finally confirmed Wufei’s suspicions. Quatre was indeed poisoned, most likely through inhalation of a noxious substance, and the poison had traveled throughout his bloodstream until it had reached his heart where it ultimately killed him.

Duo gasped when Mechs said that. He still couldn’t believe his friend was dead. He was so positive that Quatre was going to come back to life that he began making a list of things he would do with Quatre once he “woke” up. Even dead, Quatre couldn’t get a minutes peace.

Mechs was, by now, holding an intense discussion with Wufei. They pored over the ancient books, Mechs putting forth several ideas and Wufei discarding them while blowing his nose. Duo shook his head. This was not going to work at the rate that they were going. Mechs said that they had at most two days before Quatre’s brain died completely. Time was of the essence.

Duo looked at Quatre, then across the room at Wufei and Mechs. He looked back and forth for awhile, trying to decide whether to pipe in or to just stay put.

Trowa was on Quatre’s other side. Ever since Quatre died, it was like a chunk had been taken out of Trowa, also. Trowa was now pretty much helpless, and it was up to Duo to distract him.

“Why don’t you sew something for Quatre for when he wakes up?” Duo suggested, seeing the solemn Trowa simply staring at his friend. Trowa looked up on the word “sew”.

So now Trowa was sewing, Wufei and Mechs were still talking, and that left Duo with nothing to do. Duo sighed.

Duo tried making them all coffee, or at least some tea. He was inadvertently put to the role of Happy Homemaker, running errands for the boys and making sure they could still function bodily, since they were too busy to take care of themselves. They might as well have been mini Veggie-Quatres. He even once had to remind them all to go to the bathroom, and they had reluctantly complied.

Duo was both happy and exhausted. Why couldn’t he have a dysfunctional problem like them?

By now, it was nighttime, and Duo sat pooped among Quatre’s cushions (the ones without the fly). He was so bored, he began staring at Quatre’s family photographs. Yes, there was Quatre’s Dad. And there was a treasured photograph of the test-tube that he had been raised in. Quatre’s Nanny, Quatre’s personal servants. Then, all of sudden…

There they were, arranged in one of those panoramic shots, since there were too many of them. All 29 sisters, with a happy Quatre standing right in the middle. That reminded him….

Grabbing up Quatre’s ornate phone, Duo started dialing – long distance. He waited.

Duo got all excited. Trying to make himself sound more manly, he deepened his voice a couple of notches and replied, “This is Maxwell. Duo Maxwell.”

The woman on the other end tried to place the name. “Maxwell…Duo Maxwell…. Aren’t you one of Quatre’s friends?”

“Yes!” Duo’s voice immediately broke back to normal, so excited he was at being recognized.

Duo paused. Oops! He had no intention of telling Quatre’s sisters that Quatre was dead, but why in the world had he called them? Uhhh…uh….

“Quatre wants to invite you all over for a reunion! He says he misses you guys a lot…. And he’s running out of pink shirts and purple vests.”

“Oh, really?” said the woman’s sweet voice. “Well, in that case, a visit would be in order.” Duo heard the phone covered and an excited female voice yakking on the other end. Then a whole chorus of females chatting amiably away. Wow…. What had he gotten them all into?

Duo looked cautiously over at Wufei’s direction. Wufei was staring directly at him. Uh oh.

Then Wufei sneezed. Obviously, the power of his woman-repellant radar was safely nullified by his allergies to dust. Duo breathed out in relief.

“Yes!” he cried and, without further word, slammed the phone down. Phew! Now, to figure out a way to resurrect Quatre before all of Quatre’s sisters visited the school. Uhh….

“Well, we would make further progress if you quit asking us this question every ten seconds,” Wufei snapped. His allergies were making him irritated.

“Sure!” Duo said, and jumped over. He landed butt first among the pillows and Wufei wisely tumbled away. “Since I’m not allergic to dust,” Duo cried in Wufei’s ear, “let ME help out.”

Wufei trembled. “Thanks,” he muttered and scooted away from those dreadful books.

Duo looked down at the ancient volume. He gasped. 99% of the words he probably didn’t understand. Except for maybe “and”, “the”, “if”….

Duo looked down. In friendly, easy-to-understand, BIG writing dug out from the “junior” section lay a cardboard-y book entitled “Dangerous Creatures”. Duo immediately clutched onto that book like a magnet. It even had pictures on the cover!

“I chose that book as a last resort,” Wufei said, looking slightly uncomfortable. Wufei would never be seen carrying a baby book such as this!

“Thanks!” Duo cried, and happily flipped it open. “Ooooh, the cobra.” He began reading.

“At least it will keep him occupied,” Wufei muttered on aside to Mechs. Mechs grinned and looked back down at this own tome.

Wufei began to regret his decision on giving Duo the book. Now, he wouldn’t shut up.

“And, look at this one! And, this one! They’re all poisonous!” Duo sounded like he just made a new discovery. Which, for him, it probably was.

“If you find anything unusual, why don’t you let us know,” Mechs slipped in, saving them all.

“Okay,” Duo said cheerfully, smiling at Mechs. Then he frowned at Wufei and continued reading. Slowly.

“Oh, yeah, I invited Quatre’s sisters over too,” Duo said casually, still reading.

Everyone looked over at that, even Trowa. Mechs just looked puzzled. “Quatre has sisters?”

“29 of them!” Duo cried excitedly. “And they’re all coming over tomorrow---GACK!”

Wufei started to strangle Duo, but Trowa pulled him off. Wufei huffed, face all red. “Why would you do a bloody thing like that?!”

“I dunno,” Duo said innocently. “It seemed like a good idea at the time. And, oh yeah, one more thing.”

A sudden thought entered Trowa and Wufei’s mind – of 29 older sisters finding out Quatre was dead. Then of the horrible aftermath of dealing with an angry set of gorgeous women with long nails and lethal heels. They shivered.

“Well, what are we waiting for?” Wufei cried, a totally new resolve on his face. “Let’s hustle!”

Everyone nodded (Mechs still had no idea what was going on), and started poring through all their information.

Reading his baby book happily, Duo smiled.

It was three in the morning. And they were all still awake. “But you have to be at the hospital!” Duo cried.

Mechs was adamant in his refusal. “No. This is more important.” For some reason, his eyes started gleaming.

Duo shrugged. He flipped the next page of his cardboard baby book (Yes, he was still on the same book, even after all this time!). He yawned.

By now, Wufei and Mechs had pinpointed a better estimate as to the location of the said poison (and antidote!).

“Northern China, or thereabouts,” Wufei said firmly. “It is the only place where they have poison on the market and is refined enough to show some of the fancier tricks of poisoning someone with subtlety.” Meaning, of course, the fact that Quatre’s veins had turned black only AFTER he had been poisoned for how many hours. Which, of course, really narrowed down their search down to….

“Mongolian Death Worm!” Duo had found it in ‘Dangerous Creatures’. He waved the book around, proud.

“Has it ever occurred to you that the poison could occur in plants?” Wufei asked nastily.

Trowa and Duo shook their heads. They were positive in their decision. Then it came down to a process of elimantion….

“Alright, so it COULD occur in either the Pufferfish, or the Mongolian Death Worm, although the latter leaves me highly dubious,” Wufei said, about an hour later. Mechs and him had decided that, indeed, Trowa’s and Duo’s answers could be right.

Duo frowned at Wufei’s doubt. “What’s wrong with my Mongolian Death Worm?” he asked. Trowa’s Pufferfish didn’t look all that great either.

“Well, first of all,” Wufei said, “your ‘Mongolian Death Worm’ came from a non-scientific book.” He held up Duo’s revered ‘Dangerous Creatures’ in disgust.

“But if it is, indeed, the Pufferfish,” Mechs joined in, “…there is no antidote.”

Everyone looked at Trowa. Trowa, oddly enough, still remained calm. They shivered.

“Well, I would rather save Quatre than believe he’s been taken over by some bloated fish,” Duo said confidently. He snatched back ‘Dangerous Creatures’ and continued reading. He was almost done.

Everyone looked at each other dejectedly. This was not what they had worked so hard for. To discover that they had to rely on either a sure-death Pufferfish toxin or a Death Worm that no one had ever heard of could make someone understandably depressed.

Everyone sighed, and sat back in the pillows. Duo, meanwhile, had begun dialing the number for Quatre’s sisters. Yet again. Probably to break to them the bad news….

“Hey, it’s me, Duo,” Duo said cheerfully, telephone clamped between his ear and shoulder blade. “I don’t think I remember your name, but have you ever heard of the Mongolian Death Worm?”

Wufei smacked his head. Not only was Duo being rude, but the idiot still hadn’t given up on his Mongolian Death Worm!

“Sure, everyone in Arabia’s heard about it. It’s a common occurrence in deserts.”

Right then, Duo had pressed for ‘speaker phone’ mode, so everyone in the room could hear the conversation going on. They all perked up, tense.

“Well…” The sister on the other end happened to be Myra. “Us and Quatre always loved traveling to the different deserts on Earth, and the Mongolian Death Worm happened to live in the Gobi, one of our favourites. In fact, we all got to take pictures with it! Wanna see?”

On-screen, a picture of Myra standing beside what happened to be a really big Cheetoh appeared. She was smiling and waving at the camera. Duo wasn’t even looking at the stupid worm. Myra was hot!

“Ask the woman about the antidote!” Wufei hurried, but staying cautiously out of sight of the vid-phone.

“Why, thank you.” The real Myra appeared on the screen now. Everyone had to admit that she did indeed look very gorgeous, but they had other things to do. Then, they thought, Myra would be HERE today!

“So, how do you prevent yourself from being poisoned?” Duo asked casually. “You looked pretty healthy standing beside Death Worm there.”

Myra, on the other end, laughed. Every male in the room’s ears started tinkling. “It’s a secret,” Myra winked. “Only the family knows about it.”

“Really….” Duo contemplated. They were on the verge of discovery, and everyone behind Duo was waving at the vid-phone like madmen, telling him what to say next, but Duo ignored them. “Can you possibly tell me?”

Myra’s ears perked up. “Is there someone there with you, Duo? It sounds a little crowded. I don’t think I want to tell everybody.”

Duo whipped around and glared at everyone. Everyone’s half-open mouths immediately zipped shut. They melted into the pillows. Much better.

Myra held a well-manicured finger to her lips. “Where’s Quatre?” she asked suspiciously.

Myra frowned. “Still sleeping? You wake that boy up right now, Duo. I don’t want our baby brother getting spoilt and not giving his older sisters a call.” She waited.

“From the moment you called her, I knew it was no good,” Wufei moaned. “Now, how are you going to explain this one away?”

Duo looked from the vid-phone, to Quatre lying peacefully on the bed. He looked back and forth again. “Bring that vid-phone over!” he ordered, going to Quatre’s side.

Mechs took the screen and stretched the electric wire as far as it would go. Wufei looked at all this in doubt. “It’s never going to work.”

“Would you rather deal with Quatre’s sisters….” Duo glanced at his watch – 5 in the morning, “…this afternoon?!”

Without word, Trowa dug around in his own sewing-kit toolbox/pencil kit and found what Duo asked.

Now, Wufei sat behind Quatre on his pillow, propping up Quatre’s head. Mechs was still carrying the vid-phone, and now he was holding a rather pleasant conversation with Quatre’s sisters. They all asked whether he was single.

Duo got down to work. No one could see what he was doing to Quatre’s face, but it involved glue. Wufei, holding Quatre’s head, got a pretty good view. “You don’t need to use the whole bottle…not right there!…aaaugh, you would make a terrible mortician….”

“Okay,” Duo cried, getting out of the way. Everyone glanced at his handiwork. Then they gasped. Mechs nearly dropped the vid-phone.

Quatre’s eyes were…well…essentially glued open at the eyelids. He looked horrific.

Wufei was the first to speak. “You will be cursed by the dead for not giving them respect while they sleep.”

Mechs dutifully stretched the vid-phone even further, and carefully placed it close to Quatre’s face above his mouth. Duo’s work with Quatre’s eyes could at least be passable through the vid-phone, but a moveable mouth was just too complicated. Poor Quatre had already gone through enough as it is. Mechs carefully uncovered the screen.

Everyone glanced at Trowa. Why was Quatre speaking through Trowa’s mouth? They gasped. Maybe Quatre’s spirit is speaking through Trowa’s body!

Trowa gave them all a weird look, then continued his next-to-perfect mimicry. “I am just feeling so tired,” Trowa/Quatre said. “I think I am in need of our special family recipe. Can you bring the Mongolian Death Worm antidote to me?”

“Yes!” Duo hissed triumphantly. Mechs just smiled, and nearly lost his grip on the vid-phone. There was a tense juggling moment, then Duo helped him right it again. But now, Quatre’s sisters could see Quatre’s blue lips and unmoving mouth. Uh, oh.

On cue, as if it were all some graceful ballet, Trowa pressed two dainty fingers against the vid-phone and mashed it against Quatre’s already prone face. “Mmmmwuaaaahhh,” he/Quatre said.

Quatre’s sisters, delighted, returned the kiss, promised that they would bring Quatre lots of pink shirts with purple vests (Quatre had burned all his other ones in a humongous bonfire once Quatre’s sisters had all left the first time), then said their goodbyes.

The moment they shut off the vid-phone, everyone sighed. Trowa, who, indeed, did look like a ballerina with two fingers pressed against the vid-phone and a leg sticking out behind him for balance smoothly melded back into his original passive stance. You couldn’t tell what had passed just by looking at him.

Mechs looked at his watch. 6 a.m. “I suggest you all attend class. Quatre’s sisters may be awhile in arriving yet.”

Duo looked at him, shocked. “Are you kidding me? After all our hard work…I’m staying!” and hugged Quatre to him possessively. Wufei, still cautious about the poison, daintily swatted Duo off.

“It will be alright,” Mechs sighed wearily. He had purple bags under his eyes. “I will stay and monitor Quatre. If you skip classes two days in a row, I’m not sure that the teachers will be pleased.”

“Alright,” Trowa said, and walked off. He picked up his sewing kit and, before you can say, “Quatre Raberba Winner”, Trowa had left. It’s like he never was.

“Perhaps I should say the same about you,” Wufei said testily, already getting off Quatre’s pillow and placing Quatre’s head back into its original silent position. “You merely wish to skip class.”

This went on until Mechs shoved them both out of the room. Once they were gone, Mechs closed the door silently and leaned his head tiredly against it. He had a feeling that things were only just beginning for these strange boys whom Relena the Headmaster favoured. And, whatever they went through, they would be sure to drag Mechs along with them.

Duo and Wufei were in Computer Science class. It was the ONE class they happened to share. Naturally, they sat at opposite ends of the room, and pretended not to know one another. At least, on Wufei’s end. Each day, Duo tried striking up a conversation with Wufei but was promptly ignored. This time…

“Hee hee hee,” Duo said. He had finally figured out a way to talk to Wufei – through this age-old program known as ICQ. A little ancient, but serviceable.

[ Helloooooo Wufei :) ] Duo typed. Of course, he wasn’t listening to the teacher lecturing.

A cute, chirpy voice went “Uh, oh!” on Wufei’s terminal end. Wufei nearly jumped out of his seat. What the…. Wufei cautiously double-clicked an icon.

[ Helloooooo Wufei :) ] was what appeared, in a neat little box on screen. Wufei looked around. What was this all about?

The “Uh, oh” uh-ohed so loudly on Duo’s end he nearly fell out of his seat. The teacher glared over, but couldn’t tell whose computer it was coming from.

Duo, cursing quietly at Wufei, promptly turned down the volume. He typed back [ whut do u think? ]

Just then, Duo felt someone tap him on the shoulder. Whoops! It was the teacher! Duo quickly closed the program and gave an 100 watt grin.

The teacher, conflicting emotions in mind, decided to let it pass. As soon as the teacher was out of view, Duo opened ICQ and continued….

[ too close. If you get us into trouble again, you will have to face the consequences. ]

[ then how are we going to get the antidote from them without the women finding out?!!! ]

[ mention one word of this to anyone and face the wrath of my sword. Anyway as I was saying ]

Duo turned off ICQ, right at that moment. He knew it would piss Wu-wu off. Thus, the joys of networking.

Across the room, Wufei gave him the universal finger.

They were back in Quatre’s room. At least, half of them. Duo and Wufei were arguing inside while Trowa and Mechs were standing outside the doors as watch. They were practically the last barrier to Quatre’s sisters’ entrance, and they had to be prepared. Based on past experience, Quatre’s sisters were wildly unpredictable.

Surprisingly, it was Trowa who had said no. “I will honour Quatre’s last wish,” he said, “and prevent you from molesting Quatre’s sisters.”

Wufei, inside, looked at his watch. “They should be arriving any minute.” He tapped his fingers against Quatre’s bedside banister nervously.

Duo was performing a little dance among Quatre’s pillow. “Quatre’s sisters,” he sang. “Quatre’s sisters….”

Outside the window, they could hear a commotion outside. Looking out the window, Duo and Wufei gasped.

Several beige helicopters with the word “Winner” painted so artfully along the side began to arrive out on the front lawn. Students hanging around outside stared and pointed.

The helicopters, hovering gracefully in the air, were trying to land. But there were absolutely no landing pads. A mistake on Relena’s part. Whirling around like gentle dragonflies, the pilots picked a spot, and descended.

Relena was humming joyfully to herself. She was going to visit Heero today, and she had bought him a bouquet of flowers from the school flower shop. She knew that Heero didn’t like flowers – actually, he never appreciated ANYTHING she gave him, phooey – but, this time, it was going to be different. Which is what she said to herself the last time she gave him that bracelet, but, anyways….

Once again, it was a sunny day. She walked all by herself among the squeaky clean corridors of the hospital, lights shining beautifully through the large glass windows. She stifled a grin. Would that hunky doctor be here today, Mechs? She always thought that Mechs resembled that lifeguard that rescued her that time she went surfing (Re: A Day At the Beach). Now, what was HIS name??? Oh yeah…Pechs. She would have to ask Mechs if they were related. One day….

Relena was walking along quite pleasantly. All of a sudden, a helicopter flew by outside the glass windows. What the…?

Relena promptly did a very military-like 90º turn and pressed her hands against the glass. What the…what was a helicopter doing here at her Prestigious School of Pacifism?

Another one zoomed on past, and Relena eeped and nearly fell over. Why…this was preposterous! How dare someone trespass!

Then another…and another…and another…. Relena looked on, nullified. It wasn’t till the last one passed that she regained a spark of recognition.

“That woman!!!” Relena said, much like Wufei. Relena looked on, but said woman (meaning, Quatre’s sister), had already passed.

Ooooohh. Relena clenched her fist, and thumped it hard against the glass. But, since it was security glass, the window didn’t give. Her knuckles did.

“YOW!!!” Relena the school princess howled. She knelt down in the hall, cradling her hand in pain. Immediately, nurses, wondering what the animal commotion was all about, ran out. Seeing their princess Relena in pain, they panicked.

“No…,” Relena said groggily, but everyone apart from the people in the surgical rooms ran out and formed a human shield about Relena. Oh, great, now she couldn’t see where that horrid woman went. Strapping Relena down on a cot, they began rolling her away. “Really, I’m fine,” Relena said, despite her pain. “Could you please wheel me to the window…?”

They wheeled her past the windows, and Relena turned her head to follow the copters. The nerve of that woman returning! She would recognize that face anywhere. It was the exact same woman that she had seen wearing a bathrobe and coming down the stairs…right after her precious Heero, arrggh (Re: Quatre’s Sisters, Part 7).

Where in the world were those helicopters going? Relena couldn’t ever recall asking the architect for a helicopter landing pad. In fact, this was one of the reasons why she DIDN’T want one.

The helicopters were beginning to descend. Where? Where? Relena would go right over there and tell that woman off, broken hand or not.

Relena tried to perk her head up. Her gaze strained to follow the copters. Were they…? No. They wouldn’t….

With the grace of birds going to their nests, the copters landed…right in the middle of her prize-winning magnolia patches.

Thinking that Relena was in even more pain, the hospital staff wheeled her even faster. Relena watched helplessly as she was wheeled out of sight.

“What are we going to do? What are we going to do? What are we going to do?” Wufei was panicking.

Surprisingly, it was Duo who remained calm for once. “What are you so worked up for? They’re just women.”

“Yes, they are JUST women,” Wufei was walking nervously back and forth, back and forth, trampling on Quatre’s pillows. “Women are manipulative and evil. Furthermore…they are weak!”

Duo rolled his eyes, and looked out the window. “There they are,” he whistled. “All 29 of them.”

Quatre’s sisters, after landing safely in a patch of beautiful flowers, began to exit the copters. Daintily stepping down in their stiletto heels, they gave Relena’s school a once-over. And clapped in delight.

Duo was enchanted. Could such creatures actually exist on this horrid Earth? Duo took one of Quatre’s silk kerchiefs and wiped the growing sweat from his brow. All of a sudden….

What was Treize doing there? Duo watched as their school principal walked out in his regal cape and began greeting their foreign guests. This isn’t supposed to happen!

Duo grinded his teeth in jealousy, as he was stuck in Quatre’s room. He should be the one down there!

Duo watched as Treize gave one of his welcoming smiles, the exact same one he had greeted the students with in the auditorium. Quatre’s sisters were delighted at the reception, and greeted him in kind by kissing him on the cheek. Duo was ready to melt into a puddle of molten lava.

Duo looked down at the object that he had used to vent his anger, then quickly released it. He looked out the window again.

Now, Quatre’s sisters, along with the Principal Mr. Khushrenada, were walking along in one big group towards the main entrance. Finally, they would be here….

“Get ready guys,” Duo said, wringing his hands. “We have work to do.”

Heero was lying in his hospital bed. He knew he had regained consciousness several times, but that was only to perform bodily functions. He was awake now.

Heero’s eyes darted about, trying to capture his surroundings. He couldn’t really remember what had happened to get him into this situation, but he wanted out, now.

Unfortunately, he was paralyzed. Heero tried lifting an arm, but it felt like lead, so weak, so weak.

Heero felt detached from his body. He was beginning to drift off to sleep again when…

The hospital door banged open as someone was wheeled inside. A crowd of paramedics rushed in right after, chatting worriedly and calming the patient on the bed.

Heero wondered what in the world could have happened to one person that would cause the entire hospital to panic.

On the bed next to him, they placed the patient. There were so many people surrounding the other bed that he couldn’t see who it was.

After several minutes, the place finally cleared up. Out of curiosity, Heero looked to the left—

“AAAAHHHH!!” It was the first word that Heero had uttered all week. Heero tried getting up from his bed, but he couldn’t move his limbs. His bed started jouncing violently at his efforts.

Relena, lying down on the bed beside, looked directly at her honey. “Oh, I didn’t know you would be here too!” Relena clasped her hands to her chest, so happy she was. One of her hands had a world-class beehive cast over it.

Heero groaned and closed his eyes. Now was about a good a time as any to go unconscious.

Mechs and Trowa hung outside Quatre’s room like bodyguards. Mechs looked suspiciously at every blond female that passed.

From around the corner, what looked to be a large mass of people was surging forth. Mechs squinted.

That mass gradually identified itself into distinct faces, with slender arms and long legs.

Mechs gasped and his mouth opened wide. He didn’t realize what he was doing until Trowa helpfully clamped his mouth shut.

Quatre’s sisters were already quite striking on the vid-screen, but in real life, their utter beauty packed a punch. Never in his life had he seen anyone look so ethereal.

Trowa smiled solemnly and bowed, and they all rushed forward to ruffle his hair. Then, seeing Mechs, they recognized him.

“Hey, you’re that doctor! What’s your name? Where do you live? What’s your age? What’s your status? Are you married? Do you have a girlfriend?”

Mechs gasped as he was bombarded by all these questions. Not only that, but the smell of their perfume was absolutely hypnotizing. He was surprised to see not all of them were golden blond. In fact, a great majority of them had black hair.

Mechs looked back and forth, confused. He didn’t know who or what to answer first.

Trowa took the time of distraction to take one of Quatre’s sisters aside. They started chatting quietly. Then Trowa went in the doors.

Duo and Wufei were waiting inside. “Well, where’s the antidote?” they both asked, looking like begging puppy dogs.

Trowa considered that for a moment, then held up a tube of lipstick. It had a golden rose decorated on the cover.

Duo’s eyes opened wide in shock. He recognized it. “That’s Mya’s! Or was it Rina? Anyway, I have the exact same tube right here!”

Duo dug around in he jacket pocket and brought forth a tube of lipstick identical to the one Trowa was holding. Except Duo’s was obtained when he had stolen it as a souvenir to Quatre’s sisters’ last visit (Re: Quatre’s sisters, Part 7).

“I understand what make-up is,” Wufei said impatiently, “but where is the antidote?”

Trowa held up the lipstick container. “This is it,” he said. He wasn’t kidding.

Duo and Wufei looked at the harmless piece of lipstick that Trowa was holding, then at the one in Duo’s hand. “Are you telling me I had the antidote after all this time?” Duo asked.

Trowa nodded, then proceeded to the bed. Duo and Wufei followed after, curious as to how this was going to work.

Calmly, as if he was being a beautician, Trowa took a seat beside Quatre’s bed and started applying the red lipstick on Quatre’s lips. He waited.

Duo, taking his own tube of stolen lipstick, drew a purple line down Quatre’s cheek.

Frantically, and with great sweeping movements, both Duo and Trowa began drawing lipstick lines all over Quatre’s face. Then on his hands, on his feet….

They didn’t answer as they tattooed Quatre’s skin with the lipstick colours. When they deemed it was enough, they looked down.

Quatre’s eyes slowly opened, as if from a deep sleep. He looked like one of Jigglypuffs’ victims from Pokemon. He yawned.

“He’s alive!” Duo exclaimed, sounding for all the world like a mad scientist. He chucked the empty lipstick container and Wufei deftly caught it, stunned.

Suddenly, the door burst open. Mechs couldn’t hold Quatre’s sisters out any longer. “I’m sorry,” Mechs said, as he danced safely out of the way. He had already given his personal phone number to a great majority of them, but it was still not enough. They wanted to see their brother.

Looking down at Quatre, his sisters gasped. “Oh, Quatre,” they squeeled, coming over.

Wufei pulled Duo out of the way as the conglomeration of women melded over Quatre. Quatre was veritably buried under a pile of perfume and earrings.

“Ack…where is he?” Duo was wringing his hands nervously. “Right after we got him back, too.” But he still couldn’t help wishing that he was in Quatre’s place on the bed right now.

Everyone, including the boys, gathered around Quatre. They smiled. One person sneezed.

As Mechs waited for the instant photo to develop, everyone got up from around the bed and gathered among Quatre’s pillows. They started chatting.

Quatre sat among his sisters and stared at his friends across from him. They all stared back.

“I have been attending school at Relena’s Prestigious School of Pacifism (only Quatre ever really used the full name). Other than that…I don’t really recall anything else.”

Quatre furrowed his brow, and his friends all watched him nervously. Would someone who had died and been resurrected have any idea they were dead?

Mechs saved them all. “Come, look!” he said. “The photograph is developing.”

Mechs brought the photo over and Quatre sisters all gathered around, excited. They wanted to see whether they still looked good.

Quatre was the first to notice something odd. He glanced down at the photo. “What happened to my face?”

The boys, having no better explanation, skedaddled. All 3 of them locked themselves in Quatre’s bathroom.

Quatre looked down at all the lipstick marks. It was the first time he had noticed them on his hands. “Who did this?!”

Quatre inadvertently looked up on hearing his name and a camera bulb flashed once again. He groaned.

Trina, the person who had taken the picture, went over to Quatre and gave him a big, warm hug. “I really think we ought to put this photo in the school yearbook, don’t you agree, Quatre honey?” she said, giving Quatre a kiss.

Quatre looked over to the white-haired man. It was the first time that he actually got a very good look at him. “Zechs?” he asked cautiously.

Mechs raised his hands above his head in defeat. “Why does everyone keep calling me Zechs? Who is Zechs?”

“It’s a long story,” Quatre muttered. Mechs watched incredulously as the boy-previously-known-as-dead got up and went over to the bathroom door. But, of course, it was locked. “Duo…,” Quatre grinded out dangerously.

From the other side of the bathroom door, Duo’s muffle voice could be heard. “Why does everyone find me at fault today? Why?” If anyone could see through the door, they would have seen Duo raising his arms above his head in disbelief.

Mechs looked at the resurrected boy with the tattooed lipstick marks, then at Quatre’s oddly related sisters. Why wasn’t anyone telling him anything? And who IS Zechs?

Quatre’s sisters gasped. Then they got angry. “We were invited here by Duo!” they all said. They pointed to the bathroom door with their long nails.