The Gundam Boys: Off Duty =P

The Homepage of Duo and Quatre

Photo so generously donated by Star Crystal!! Thank you!

Haha, imagine that....

The G-Boys: Back to School Special!

Prologue: "I don't wanna go back to school!"

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”

“Oh, come now, Duo. School is not that bad. Look at all the pretty Sank outfits you get to wear!” Relena posed, military-like, but the effect was ruined by ALL those jangly, dangly ribbons. Behind Relena, Quatre gave a little peace-sign, then a thumbs up. He winked.

“Oh, for the love of the God of Death, both of you stop it! You’re making me nauseated….” Duo closed his eyes, but the afterimage of that horrific sight still blared beneath his eyelids. He grimaced.

“Well, do you want to go through life not having a high school education?” Relena put her hands on her hips, while her voice was beginning to get more nasal. Trowa, leaning against the wall, discreetly put a pair of cotton plugs into his ears (See Theory of why Trowa doesn’t answer people!). “The war is practically over, and you boys are just lazing around the mansion with nothing better to do! I really think this would be a great opportunity for all of you! Besides, poor Quatre can’t be paying for ALL your living expenses forever, now, can he?”

Quatre looked away and started fidgeting. Everyone else but Relena knew that he had more money than the Sultan of Brunei.

Wufei put his hands on his hips. “I object,” he said. Trowa removed his ear plugs. This could get interesting.

“Object to what?” Relena inquired.

“Object to your dominance over all our affairs! First, there was the Survivor contest, then that, *ugh*, G-Boys Band…. Everything that you have suggested has turned into a disaster!”

“Well, actually,” Duo stated, then quietly changed his mind. No one knew that he still kept that tacky outfit from their first and last G-Boys concert in the back of his closet. As memories, of course.

“Are you suggesting that I am wrong?” Years of ruling the Sank kingdom had turned Relena into, to put it lightly, something of a dictator. With a nasal whine.

“AND, I object to dressing up like a pansy in those ridiculous outfits! They are not practical whatsoever!” Wufei further extrapolated his point by giving a tug on one of Relena’s sleeve ribbons.

“Oh, how DARE you!” She gave a swat at Wufei, missing him by a hair.

“WOMAN!”

They started to fight.

“Well, what do you think?” Duo yelled to Quatre. In the background, Relena had latched onto Wufei’s jacket while Wufei was trying his best to detach himself in the least violent way. Dealing with Relena was like dealing with a nest of hornets. Trowa, surprisingly, had his eyes riveted. Heero was nowhere to be seen.

Quatre bit his lip. “Well….” He scratched his blond locks. “I suppose Relena’s point does have some merit there. I mean….” He stopped when he saw Duo’s jaw drop.

Duo said, “I thought you were on our side!”

“Duo, now let us not get too rash, here….”

“You don’t think we’re your friends anymore, just ‘cause a pretty girl walks into the room? Traitor!”

“No, Duo, that’s not what I mean—“

SOCK!

“Oh, well, Duo, now you’re just being completely irrational!”

BAM!

“Alright, now you’re just asking for it!”

And then, horror of horrors, Quatre started to fight.

Heero walked into the room. He did not appreciate having his “Law & Order” t.v. time slot disturbed. He watched the fight in fascination for a moment, then quickly shook his head. “ALL OF YOU, STOP IT!”

They stopped. For some reason, Relena and Wufei’s fight had somehow become interlaced with Duo and Quatre’s. What Heero saw was: Duo and Relena having a hair-pulling contest while Wufei and Quatre were beating the crap out of each other (Quatre was losing, of course).

Heero tapped his foot impatiently. He crossed his arms. “We’re going to school, and that’s final.”

Duo gasped. “What?! But….”

“Oh, I knew you would agree with me, Heero!” Relena’s voice suddenly turned back into its normal chirp. All the G-Boys but Heero rolled their eyes. Relena got up, brushed herself off, and ran towards Heero, about to give him a hug. Heero dodged last minute. Just because he agreed with her did NOT mean that they could have physical contact.

“It has been agreed, then,” Relena stated. “You will all be going to the Sank kingdom to receive your education at Relena’s Prestigious School of Pacifism.”

“Pacifism?!” Duo cried.

“Oh, yes,” Relena rambled on, completely oblivious. “Since the Sank kingdom is so far away, you will all have to be staying in dorm rooms and be living at the school, just like everybody else. I have also taken the liberty of assigning you your dorm room, along with dorm partner.” Relena looked around for approval at her thriftiness. Finding none, she quietly cleared her throat, then held up a piece of rolled-up Very Important-Looking Document (complete with gah! another ribbon!).

Despite themselves, the G-boys all crowded around to see. Instants later, everyone started clawing at the Very Important-Looking Document. Relena watched in horror as the paper she spent hours in preparing in beautiful calligraphy writing was soon becoming a Very Crumpled Piece Of Paper.

“Hey! Give it back! That is…no!!!” Relena cried as the paper whooshed! away. It fluttered around for a moment…then vanquished beneath Wufei’s butt.

“Ha ha, who’s got the power now?” Wufei said, sitting smugly on the floor with his legs firmly crossed.

“I do.”

Heero held up a carbon-copied piece of paper containing their dorm room list that he’d just printed out that morning. Hacking into Relena’s personal computer had not been hard (when prompted for the password, he had just typed in ‘ILuvHeero’. Like, who else?)

Everyone stopped fighting and dutifully gathered around Heero. To Relena’s dissapointment, no one ripped up HIS sheet.

It said:
 

Room 378: Heero Yuy and Trowa Barton

Room 379: Duo Maxwell and Wufei Chang

Room 380: Quatre Raberba Winner
 

Simultaneosly:

Duo and Wufei: “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!”

Heero and Trowa: “No.”

Quatre: “Yes! I mean, no, uh…no.”

“This is preposterous!” Wufei cried. “I will not be subject to the company of that fool Maxwell.” He pointed at that fool Maxwell.

“I don’t wanna go to school!” Duo cried, eyes close to tears. He looked at Wufei glaring at him. “I really don’t wanna go to school!”

Both Heero and Trowa looked at each other, then shrugged. If the mission decided they should share dorm rooms, then that was final. They were already too preoccupied with their own thoughts to worry about such petty things. Heero: Mission accepted. I’m hungry. Trowa: Now, should I be myself disguised as a Sank student or a Sank student disguised as an Oz personnel??? Hmm…. More importantly…where can I put my $%*& trampoline?!?.

“It’s fine then! We shall all meet outside the Sank kingdom at 8:30 tomorrow morning, sharp. And, I shall see you there!” With that, Relena escorted herself out the door, and left. They could all hear her outside, arguing with her limo driver.

“8:30?” All of a sudden, Duo looked really tired. Purple bags had mysteriously appeared beneath his weary eyes.

“8:30? That’s ridiculous. It’s so late.” Wufei crossed his arms. Duo could tell they were NOT going to get along.

The door suddenly opened again. It was Relena. “Oh, yes, I almost forgot.” She laid a box down on the floor. “Your school uniforms.”

Duo was the first to run over. He rubbed his hands. “Now, let’s see how these babies look like.” Wufei rolled his eyes.

Taking out an exact-o knife from his hair, Duo carefully cut open the box. He opened it. A split second later:  “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”

“What is the matter?” Wufei snapped.

Duo held up his hands. The article of clothing appeared to be some form of button down shirt. A button down shirt with pink ribbons and bows sewed at every conceivable empty patch of fabric. No doubt, Relena had personally designed it. Even Quatre winced.

Wufei, meanwhile, had turned instantly green. He ran quickly to the washroom. Duo was not far behind. The rest of the boys could hear gagging sounds, then rapid flushes of the toilet. Finally, something the two of them had in common with.

“Well, I guess it’s time to pack,” Quatre said. Heero and Trowa nodded, then walked up the stairs to their respective rooms. Quatre stared after them for awhile, then shook his head. Heero and Trowa were more alike then he’d like to admit.

Duo and Wufei finally barged out of the washroom after having a shoving match through the door. They were arguing again. Everything was back to normal.

Quatre sighed. Time to go back to school.