The Gundam Boys: Off Duty =P

The Homepage of Duo and Quatre

meets

Chapter One: Road Trip

The G-Boys were sitting in a movie theatre. It was dark and the end credits were beginning to role.

Duo sniffed. “That was such a good movie.” *Sniff sniff*

Quatre patted Duo on the shoulder. “There, there,” he clucked. “It’s all over.”

Heero, on Duo’s other side, sat emotionless. He had looked that way throughout the entire film. Now, he got up and began to leave. He wasn’t waiting for anyone else.

“Who was that actress again?” Wufei asked. He was looking oddly interested.

“Britney Spears,” Duo bawled, and cried again. He blew his nose loudly.

The G-Boys all sat there until the janitor came in. He was sweeping up the mess that Duo made when he had spilled his popcorn in emotion.

“Good movie,” Duo said, patting the janitor on the shoulder as he left.

“Crossroads?” the janitor asked, confused. “I only watch it for the girl.”

“Let’s go on a road trip,” Duo said, sitting at the kitchen table. He leaned his chair back casually and rifled through a pile of brochures, discarding the ugly ones and saving the rest. Quatre was on the floor beside him, picking up the brochures that Duo had carelessly thrown on the floor and neatly putting them in the garbage can.

“No,” Heero said. Drinking milk directly from the carton, Heero thumped it down on the counter. Out spilled some. Quatre sighed, went over, and began to mop it up.

“What do you think?” Duo asked, staring at the other two boys playing video games.

Wufei and Trowa were mashing buttons on their recently acquired PS2. Quatre’s expenses, of course. “About what?” Wufei asked. Trowa was hard to beat.

“About the road trip!”

Wufei raised his hands in defeat. Trowa had out-danced him yet again. They were playing none other than: “Britney’s Dance Beat”. And guess whose idea THAT one was to buy? Duo? No. It was Wufei.

Wufei turned around, suspicious. “Is this another one of your hare-brained schemes?”

“Yes…. I mean, no, no,” Duo said. “I just….” Duo got a far-off look on his face. “I wanna be like Britney.”

Heero coughed and nearly spit out his milk. Quatre looked at Heero nervously, towel in hand.

The G-Boys continued what each had been doing, completely ignoring Duo. All of a sudden….

“Wait,” Quatre, said. A realization had just hit him. “Isn’t Relena going to be making her annual visit to us soon?”

Hearing this, Heero physically removed himself from Quatre’s side and sat down at the kitchen table. He began flipping through brochures. Quatre sighed.

The phone rang. Quatre waited for someone to answer it. On the sixth ring, Quatre sighed, got up, and went to answer the phone.

“Hello,” he said, sounding like a nice nanny.

“HELLO, QUATRE!” Relena yelled on the other end.

Quatre winced and held the phone three feet away from him. Everyone sitting around the kitchen table could hear her loud and clear. She might as well have been in the room.

“I’VE DECIDED TO CHANGE MY ANNUAL VISIT TO TOMORROW! WOULD THAT BE ALRIGHT? I MISS…Heero…TOO MUCH!”

Heero perked his ear. He had excellent hearing. Even when Relena lowered her voice, he could still pick up on the nuances. “No,” he replied immediately, just as quiet. That seemed to be his favourite word of the day.

Unfortunately, Relena also had excellent hearing. “NO? WHY NOT? I’M COMING OVER THERE RIGHT NOW!”

“Nice one,” Duo said, rolling his eyes.

There was a loud CLACK as Relena hung up. Even her phone hang-ups were louder than anyone else’s. Quatre glanced down at the tone volume. It was already set at 0. He looked up. “I had better prepare for Relena’s arrival.” No one could refuse Princess Relena.

“Wait a sec,” Duo said. “I got an even better idea.” He started waving around a car rental ad. “How about going on a road trip?” He had an evil glint in his eye.

By now, the room had gone completely silent. Then…

“I’ll pack the food,” Quatre said.

“I’ll pack the JUNK food,” Duo cheered.

“I’ll fetch the clothing,” Wufei said.

“I’ll get a car,” said Trowa, grabbing Duo’s ad.

“And I’ll write a note to Relena,” Heero said quietly. It was his responsibility, as sole Relena-magnet, to prevent her from following them.

Everyone scattered.

Relena lived about an hour’s drive away from the mansion. So that still gave them some time.

Quatre began rifling through the refrigerator for some healthy food, which he placed in neat little sacs. He had no idea how long they would be gone, because he had no idea how long Relena would decide to stay in their house. He would give her at least 3 weeks, before she got bored and left. If they were lucky.

Duo, singing one of Britney Spear’s songs, grabbed up all the junk food he could find and put them in one large garbage bag. His volume of food was about ten times bigger than Quatre’s. Oh, well.

Wufei had gone upstairs to pack their clothing while Trowa had taken the time to grab a phone and start dialing for their car. Since he was a year older than anyone else, he was at LEAST legal age. Better than Duo’s usual lying. The man on the other end asked what kind of car Trowa wanted. Trowa thought and put a finger to his lips.

Heero was also thinking. He sat down at the kitchen table and started tapping a pen irritatingly on the surface. Something brief, yet would prevent her from following them. This was one of the hardest things he had ever done in his life.

Just then, Wufei came down carrying a rucksack. He propped it neatly by the door, then went all the way up to Duo. He was asking him something. Him and Duo had an intense discussion, then Wufei went back upstairs.

“What was that about?” Quatre asked, looking at Duo and raising an eyebrow.

“Wu-wu wanted to know which Britney Spears CD he should bring.”

“And…?”

“I told him to bring all of ‘em!”

Quatre frowned and pursed his lips. Britney Spears’ music wasn’t exactly his cup of tea. He still preferred classical. He was going to ask Duo whether Britney Spears carried a classical album when Trowa put down the phone and said, “I obtained a car. It should be arriving in half an hour.”

“Phew, that’s cutting it close,” Duo said, anxiously looking at his watch. “We wanna be out of here before Relena arrives. How’s the note doing, Heero?”

Heero was focused on his sheet of lined paper. He was writing down something in his small, neat handwriting. Everyone decided not to bother him.

“Wu-wu” came back downstairs, carrying the said CDs and placing them lovingly in the rucksack. No one decided to say anything to him either.

Everyone hehmed and hawed. Finally, it was Quatre who asked the burning question. “So…uh…. Where are we going?”

Duo rolled his eyes. “It’s a road trip, who cares?”

“I know…,” Quatre continued nervously. “But where can we go that she won’t find us?”

Duo furrowed his brows. “Good point.”

Heero, where he had been sitting quietly at the kitchen table, threw them a brochure. Duo caught it. “Hey, I didn’t see this one before.”

The brochure was completely black with tones of grey. In red letters on the very front, was outlined in snazzy writing, “Devil May Cry”. Part of the logo included this babe carrying a pair of guns.

Duo whistled. “Where did you find this?” he asked Heero.

Heero didn’t hear as he was too busy writing that letter. He was almost done.

Just then, a car horn honked outside. Everyone jumped. “Relena?…” Quatre ventured.

Stuffing the brochure down his shirt, Duo ran to the door. “Even better,” he said. “It’s our car.” Opening the door wide, he waved.

“Are you Trowa Barton?” the guy with the cap asked.

“Yes,” Trowa said, stepping outside. He signed a form that the man held out to him, then obtained a pair of keys.

Duo was already on the driveway, admiring the car. “How in the world did you get this baby?”

What Trowa had gotten for them looked, tasted, and felt exactly like the Batman car. With room for more people, of course.

Trowa shrugged. Without word to any of them, he walked over to the front seat and got in. He was sitting at the wheel.

“Hey, that’s my job!” Duo protested.

Trowa stuck the key in and started the engine. It made a deep purr. Lights started going on at the ribcage-like side.

“Ooooooh,” Duo said, completely forgetting about what he had said before. He got in beside Trowa. “Let’s go!”

Trowa shook his head and pointed at the other boys and their luggage. Duo pouted and sat back in his seat.

“Heero,” Quatre called back into the house.

Heero materialized right in front of Quatre and Quatre jumped. He squeeked, “The car’s ready.”

Heero glanced at the car, nodded, and stuck his note on the outside of their front door. Then he climbed in.

Quatre was going to read the note when Duo yelled, “Hurry up, she’s coming!”

Everyone ran to the car, threw their stuff inside, and climbed in. The inside was black leather and again lit up at a moment’s notice. They slammed the car door.

No one had any idea what Trowa’s driving skills would be like. The car’s stick shift was on manual.

Trowa, as if he and the car were one, backed out quickly out of the driveway and drove smoothly off. Anyone looking back at the mansion would have only seen black tire tracks and Heero’s note fluttering on the doorway.

They were finally off. Duo clenched his fist in victory and yelled, “Yes!”

They had been driving along for awhile. Before they had left the neighborhood, they had spotted Relena going in the direction of their house. She had not seen them, because the windows of their car were also tinted.

Duo, on Wufei’s request, had popped in Britney Spear’s latest CD. Her music was now blaring at odds with the interior of the black car. “I’m not a girl…,” Britney Spears sang.

“…Not yet a woman,” Duo and Wufei answered her. They laughed.

Oh, dear, Quatre thought. From the moment Wufei became Britney’s fan, his entire personality had changed. He was a lot more…pacified. He had not uttered a mean word since leaving that movie theatre. It was good, but it was also very unnerving.

Heero was sitting quietly on Quatre’s other side. Heero was playing with the window switch. The window went up…down…up…down….

“Where are we going again?” Quatre asked. Throughout the rush of their packing, he had completely forgotten.

Up front, Duo turned down the volume. He reached down into his shirt and pulled out the brochure. He tossed it back.

Quatre looked down at it. Heero and Wufei also gathered round to see. Again, the words “Devil May Cry” appeared.

“Is this some type of bar?” Heero asked. The brochure wasn’t very informative, only saying in brief words where it was located and that it was very famous and had been for many centuries. Pictures of the city also adorned it.

“It is a city that I have not seen before,” Quatre said. He nibbled a finger nervously.

“Good,” Duo piped from up front. “If you haven’t seen it, then I doubt Relena has. Anyway, isn’t that all that matters?”

“I guess,” Quatre said, placing the brochure in the seat pouch. He leaned back. It’s just that, he always got nervous when they were visiting someplace unfamiliar.

Trowa continued driving. He was surprisingly good. Soon, all the boys besides Trowa had fallen asleep.

It was dark by the time they got up. The midnight-blue sky winked down at them covered with scattered stars. Everyone took a stretch.

Quatre had opened the window on the roof and now had a good look at the stars. The moon was full tonight, and its glow shone softly over everything. He smiled. He hadn’t gone out on a trip like this in a long time.

Duo, bored, turned on the radio. But none of the usual stations appeared. Only static. He flipped it off again. Reception was terrible here! He pressed play for the Britney Spears CD again.

The boys looked out the window. They gasped.

They were entering the said city. It looked like a cross between downtown and medieval streets. One general, main road ran straight through the center. Trowa took it.

They gazed through the windows. Tasteful lamps decorated the sidewalks, and sometimes, a person in a dark trench coat to protect from the cold walked past but, otherwise, the buildings looked completely empty. Why?

Because all the lights were turned off. That’s funny. Quatre gazed down at his antique watch. It was only 9 o’clock.

“Perhaps we should begin to find lodgings,” Quatre said. He looked at a passing person nervously.

“Ah, no rush,” Duo said, completely relaxed. “I wanna check out that ‘Devil May Cry’ place first.”

Trowa just drove silently on. He obediently followed Duo’s random instructions. Quatre kept looking frantically at the map on the brochure but it was no use. They were completely off the map.

They had been driving aimlessly about for 15 minutes. “I’m hungry,” Wufei said. Quatre shoved a sack toward him, then continued looking worriedly at the useless map. He wondered what Relena was doing right now.

Relena was sitting on the G-boy’s couch, crying (awwww). She had turned the t.v. on, and was now watching some romance film. Of course, it was the one where the girl always gets the guy.

Relena sniffled, grabbed some more of Quatre’s soft tissues, and blew her nose loudly.

Heero’s note sat crumpled beside her. After reading it, she had cried in rage. Now, she let herself in and was pigging out on any food that Quatre hadn’t packed.

Heero was breaking up with her. Of course, she hadn’t “went out” with him in the first place, but still. She had really tried.

He said that he was going someplace far away. He said that he didn’t know if he was going to come back, but said that, if he didn’t, then he was breaking up with her now so that she would be free to find another boyfriend. That was when she cried. Heero was so stupid sometimes. Always off on another suicidal mission.

And this time, everyone else had left. She never realized how much she missed everybody until they were gone. Even Duo.

Then I will wait for him to come back, Relena decided. Nodding firmly to herself, Relena began tidying up the house, and cleaned up any spot that the already neat Quatre had missed.

She glanced at the brochures on the table. What were all these brochures doing here? Shaking her head, she swept them all into the garbage can, then began busying herself upstairs. Tonight, she would be sleeping in Heero’s room. Tomorrow, she would begin decorating it.

Heero, meanwhile, was pigging out on popcorn. He sat lazily in the back seat while Quatre and Duo were arguing as to whether or not they should find a hotel.

“It’s getting really late,” Quatre said, glancing at his watch again. It was almost midnight. “We haven’t found your ‘Devil May Cry’, or some lodgings since. In fact, nothing appears to be open. I say we leave this place and go somewhere else.”

“But Quatre,” Duo pleaded, “that’s what road trips are all about. You don’t see Britney Spears complaining.”

“But Britney is being a character in a movie. This is not. Now, will you please stop leading Trowa astray and concentrate on finding us a place to sleep or, at least, eat, or--,”

“There it is,” Heero said. He gestured with his head outside the window. Everyone looked out.

“Woah…,” Duo said. All of a sudden they had reached one well-lit building. Trowa stopped the car, and turned it off. They all tumbled out.

Up in neon glowing signs at the top of the one-storey building were the words “Devil May Cry”. It winked with the exact same logo that was shown on the brochure. Sure enough, it was the same outline of the woman holding two guns.

Duo whoo-hooed, and ran up the path towards the front door.

“Wait,” Quatre said, “You don’t know that it’s open.”

Duo didn’t care. It was the only lit building in the entire city, and he was drawn to it. Opening the door, he entered.

Everyone saw Duo disappear inside. Well, it appeared welcoming enough, if a bit at odds with the rest of the depressing city. They quickly bustled in to protect from the growing cold.

They bumped directly into Duo.

“What are you standing in the doorway for?” Wufei asked, his old self beginning to creep back.

Duo just stared. They looked.

Sitting with legs propped up on an old, wooden desk was a single man. And not just any man. This man looked way cool, with neck-length white hair and bangs that fell coolly over half his face. His vision blockage rivaled Trowa’s.

But that’s not what made Duo gasp. Behind the mysterious man were skulls, and not just any skulls. They were all of a sort that Quatre couldn’t recognize, and they were all stabbed in haphazard plaques behind the man, almost like trophies. Quatre wondered if they were indeed trophies, then unconsciously reached up to touch his neck.

The man smiled. He looked kind of arrogant. If those “trophies” were indeed his, that was understandable. “Who might you be?” he asked. He still hadn’t got up from the table.

Everyone hehmed and hawed. This man looked dangerous. Not only that, but his manliness factor was up 100 percent!

Duo was the first to speak. “We, uh, saw your brochure,” he said, waving the crumpled thing around. His nervousness made him accidentally drop it, and the brochure fluttered pathetically to the ground.

The man’s lazy lids allowed the brochure only a cursory inspection before he gave a quiet chuckle.

“That brochure is really outdated,” he said, voice low. The boys weren’t sure whether he was laughing with them or at them. “Back when I was younger and wanted to gain publicity. It’s all different now.” He had this wispiness to his voice, that made him sound really old. Quatre wondered exactly how old he was. Probably a lot older than he looked. Quatre cleared his throat.

“What are those skulls mounted on your wall? It is a kind that I have not seen before.”

Without looking back, the white-haired man said, “If you’re lucky, you will never have to see one alive in your life time. Those are demons.”

Duo’s mouth opened wide, then he clamped his jaw shut again. “Are you kidding?” Duo asked. “It’s not even Halloween.” He began laughing to himself. No one else in the room was.

As if feeling insulted, the man frowned (aaaahhhh!!) got up, and stood in front of the boys. He was about a head taller than Quatre, who was the shortest.

“Look,” he said. “If you have no business with me, then don’t waste my time.” He turned around and began walking back to his desk. Now, they could see that he was wearing a blood-red long coat that brushed his heels. Like everything else he was wearing, it was made of leather.

“Wait,” Quatre said, trying to create no hard feelings. “Uhh….”

“What is it that you do?” Wufei saved him.

The man turned around just as quickly, surprising all of them (even Heero) and even quicker, bent down to pick up the dropped brochure. He dusted it off with his black leather gloves, and handed it to them.

Not expecting anything new, they looked anyway. In tiny tiny writing, at the bottom of the brochure were the words: Dante, devil hunter. Toll Free: 666-6666.

They all gasped. “Are you Dante?” Duo asked, mystified.

Dante might have rolled his eyes but they weren’t sure, through his bangs and hooded brows. “That’s me.”

Quatre frowned at the brochure. He was sure those words hadn’t been there before. He had really looked.

“You are saying that demons exist?” Heero asked, arms crossed.

It was the first time that Dante really noticed Heero. They leveled each other up, then Dante replied, “If there weren’t demons, then you wouldn’t need my services now, would you?”

“But…,” Duo insisted, confused and a little freaked out. “Demons don’t even exist!”

Just then, a loud screech punctuated the air. Duo answered it with his own scream.

Ignoring them, Dante ran to the door and outside. The boys followed him, not wanting to be alone. They looked up….

Just in time to see a long, dark figure flying across the full moon. Quatre suddenly didn’t think it looked so beautiful anymore.

“What was that?” Wufei asked.

“Demon,” Dante replied, going back into his office. They all quickly followed. Duo and Quatre shut the door, and locked it.

“What are you doing that for?” Dante asked. Duo and Quatre spun around, eyes wide like saucers. “You’re preventing my customers from getting in.”

Duo and Quatre pointed to each other. Their mouths were moving but no words were coming out.

Reaching past them, Dante unlocked the door, and opened it. “You may come in,” he said.

At the doorway stood a woman. All the boys gasped.

She had long, blond hair and nice but mean features. Her figure was clad completely in black, from her tight pants to her strapless body-suit. She looked like she belonged in some nightclub for fetishes.

Dante opened the door wider and the woman let herself in. She was almost as tall as Dante. What’s with today? Why was everyone taller than them?!

The woman looked around the sparse office and smirked. She didn’t even care about the decorative skulls. Her disdain almost matched Dante’s. Almost.

“You Dante, son of Sparda?” she asked, looking down her nose at him. It’s like the G-boys didn’t even exist.

“And what if I am?” Dante retorted, smiling. He put a leg up on a shelf, casually posing.

The G-Boys looked confused. Who was Sparda, and why was that woman so darn fine?

The woman looked around. “I would have expected the son of Sparda to be better furnished.”

“Appearances can be deceiving,” Dante replied. It’s like they were playing some kind of mind game, and the G-boys were the ball boys.

She suddenly looked at them. It was probably the first time that she “allowed” herself to notice the G-Boys. “Who are they?” she asked. She said “they” like they were some kind of parasite.

Wufei got indignant. “We are ex-gundam pilots.” He began introducing each and every one of them.

“Gundams?” the woman raised an eyebrow. “Never heard of ‘em.”

They gasped. Who in the world hasn’t heard of the gundam pilots who saved the Earth numerous times? Or tried to destroy it, depending.

She turned back to Dante. “I need your help.”

“I charge $250 per demon, flat rate. Anything more complicated I will add accordingly.” Dante spewed this forth as if this was automatic. He must have received requests often. It’s just a matter of whether or not the customer accepted it.

The woman nodded. Either she was ultra rich, or had no intention of paying him. “Good. I have a big job for you. Mundus has returned.”

Mundus? Who was Mundus?! And why did he have such a cooky name?

They saw Dante visually stiffen, then relax. “Why should I believe you? You’re a demon yourself.”

The G-Boys gasped, then looked at the woman. Sure, she could look like one helluva vamp, but demon? No way!

Duo approached Dante and dared to wave a hand in front of his face. “Hellooooo, does she look like a demon? YOU look more like a demon than SHE does!” Duo, always the woman defender – with the exception of Relena.

“Again, appearances can be deceiving,” was all Dante replied.

The woman was getting impatient. She had an even shorter fuse than Wufei. She said, “If that is true, then how do I know that you’re the son of the Legendary Dark Knight Sparda?”

The G-Boys gave up trying to understand the conversation. Knights and gundams just didn’t mix.

Dante stood in a welcoming pose, palms in front of him. “Try me,” he said.

The woman flared indignation, and her eyes glowed bright yellow for about a microsecond. Did they really see that? Then, looking around, she grabbed the first thing that she could find.

An old motorbike lying on display among Dante’s other collectibles was gathering dust in a corner. Putting her hands on the motorbike, she lifted.

Her arms were far from muscular but, casually, she hefted the motorbike above her head. The boys gaped. Imagine yourself lifting a feather with both hands. That’s how it was. Wufei recalculated his opinion of women, as yellow flames appeared where her hands contacted the metal.

And, just as effortlessly, she threw the motorbike swiftly to where Dante was, by now, standing on his own. 

The motorbike squished him flat. He uttered no last words as he fell silently to his death.

“Ohmigod, you killed him,” Duo screamed. He ran quickly over to the fallen Dante. Dante wasn’t breathing. A bit of blood was splattered onto the wooden floorboards, where it had spewed from Dante’s mouth.

The boys looked from Dante, to the woman. They ran. They may have saved the world, but they’re not stupid.

“Not so fast,” the woman said. She held up her hand and the door slammed shut on its own.

The boys halted in their own heels, and slowly turned around.

Dante…was moving. First his hands, then his legs…then, just as easily as the demon-woman, he lifted the motorbike off of him and got up.

With one lightning-fast throw, he threw the motorbike back at the woman, knocking her over. She fell to the floor in surprise.

Dante, wiping the blood from his mouth, dusted himself off. “You…you…,” Duo held up a shaky finger towards Dante.

“Was dead? I know.”

“You threw a motorbike at a woman! How could you?” Then he ran over to the woman to see if she was all right. Everyone in the room rolled their eyes.

The demon-woman got up, apparently with no scratches on her person. “Okay, so you have made your point.” Duo was left there gaping. She held out her hand towards Dante. “The name’s Trish.” She allowed herself a slight smile at the G-Boys.

Dante refused her hand. “Stop pretending to act courteous, demon. Get to your point.”

“Do you… Do you think we can be alone?” she asked, looking pointedly at the G-Boys.

Dante stared at the boys until they reluctantly left the building and shuffled their way outside. The door closed quietly behind them.

“What was all that about?” Duo asked, flabbergasted. His wits were completely gone.

“So…she really was a demon,” Quatre surmised. He was already beginning to accept the fact that demons existed.

“If she is a demon, then what is Dante?” Wufei had already given Trish a great deal of respect by calling her “she”. Otherwise, he would have said “the woman”. Next step: to call her “Trish”.

Everyone thought about that, and got all freaked out. Not to mention the fact that the town was completely empty and it was pitch black outside.

“Let’s get out of here,” Trowa said, the first words he had uttered all day. And most likely the smartest.

They didn’t have to be reminded twice as they ran towards their batman car. Right before they could enter, though, the door to Devil May Cry opened.

Trish was standing there, one arm leaning seductively on the doorframe. “Ah,” she said. “Caught them just in time.”

The boys froze in their tracks as they were caught by Trish’s hypnotic stare. Her eyes were beginning to burn yellow again.

Right then, Dante appeared in the doorway behind her and her eyes flared back to normal. They all breathed out a sigh of relief. “How would you all like to save the world again, gundam pilots?” Dante asked, smiling.

The boys just stood there, gaping. “No, thanks,” Duo said, hopping into their car. He slammed the door shut behind him. To his anger and horror, the rest of his friends were still standing outside. Duo rolled down the window.

Dante began walking down the steps, coat blowing in the breeze. He looked oddly cool, yet dangerous. He stopped right in front of them. “Nice ride. Mind if I give it a go?”

“Stop trying to change the subject,” Heero said, arms crossed. “What do you want from us?”

Dante looked down, thinking about how he should break this down to them. He began. “2000 years ago, the dark emperor Mundus, leader of all demons, took over the devil throne. With his army of demons, he wanted to bring an end to all mankind. However, the legendary Devil-Knight Sparda took pity on the human race and turned against the emperor, killing his evil army and locking away Mundus forever. Thus, mankind was saved. But evil cannot be locked away intermittently. Unbeknownst to the human world, Mundus has been gathering up a new devil army and, over the course of his isolation, has finally garnered enough power to set himself free. The whole cycle of killing and shedding the blood of humans will begin again. That is why I am here.”

The G-Boys stared at Dante with their mouths open. Was this guy for real? “And you’re going to this by yourself?” Duo squeaked from the car.

Dante looked at him and smiled. “Well, on such a big mission, I can certainly handle it alone.”

The boys weren’t sure if Dante was being sarcastic or not. It was hard to tell anything, with this man.

“There is something that you are not telling us,” Heero said accurately.

Dante turned his smile on Heero. “Smart boy,” he said. “I like that.” He began to pace around. “The reason why I would not normally rush into this type of mission is that, number 1, it is a really big job and I’m not afraid that to say that I might die in the process. And there are no other devil hunters left in the world besides me.”

“Exactly how big is this job?” Duo asked shrewdly.

Dante smiled again. “2 million dollars, starting. Each devil killed will be a bonus, on my part.”

They all turned around and stared at Trish. Trish waved, and held up a check.

“How do you know that she’s not faking it?” Wufei asked suspiciously.

Dante shrugged. “I’m saving the world. Even if I wasn’t getting paid, I would do the job anyway. This time, I happened to be lucky.”

“Secondly?” Heero raised an eyebrow.

“Secondly, Mundus’ devil army already sees me as a major threat. If I were to go blundering among them, it would make my job…very difficult.” He didn’t say impossible but, on account of personal pride, he probably meant the same thing.

“I see.” Trowa nodded his head. “May we discuss your proposal alone?”

“Be my guest,” Dante said, holding out a hand and backing away. Before he left though, he called out to them, “By the way. Whoever decides to take this mission I will share half my profits with them. Including bonuses.”

That would make that at least one million dollars. “We’ll take it!” Duo yelled.

Quatre clamped his hand above Duo’s mouth. “He was just kidding,” he said, laughing nervously. He released Duo. “Why are you always so money-minded?”

Duo shrugged his arms, stretching them. “Just ‘cause you’re a kazillion-aire doesn’t mean the rest of us don’t want to make our own cash.”

“But this mission is highly dangerous. We do not have any experience fighting (shivers) demons.”

“But we ARE saving the world,” Wufei added, his nobleness beginning to show. Everyone else slowly nodded.

“So, we’re all set then?” Duo asked, dollar signs already appearing in his eyes.

Heero shrugged. “It can’t be worse than facing Relena back home.”

Trowa frowned, and also nodded. He began cracking his knuckles.

“Okay,” Duo said to Dante. “We’ll take it.”

Dante nodded solemnly. All of a sudden, they highly doubted Dante would have accepted “no” for an answer that easily. They also felt oddly proud of themselves. They were finally being seen as men in Dante’s eyes! Dante was one of those rare people to whom you wanted to prove your self worth.

“All right, then,” Dante said, clapping his hands. “Then we’ll leave tomorrow morning at dawn.”

Dawn?! Duo began to regret his decision, but Quatre stomped on his foot. That still didn’t prevent him from asking the question, though, “Why do we have to leave so early?”

“That has strategic reasons,” Dante said, already walking back to his office/house. “You don’t want to deal with demons at night. They become more bold then, and quite a bit more powerful.” He stared pointedly at Trish.

Trish laughed, and all the boys shivered.

“Are you coming?” Dante asked, walking inside.

Staying at least ten feet away from Trish, they made a major detour around her and entered “Devil May Cry”.

“You can trust that woman?” Wufei asked, the first words he said upon entering. Why were they not surprised?

“It’s better than taking a risk and not believing her, dooming mankind in the process.”

“What if it’s a trap?”

Dante waved around the check. “I’m going to process this tomorrow. If it doesn’t go through, then I’ll let you leave.”

Quatre frowned. Something was not right with Dante’s reasoning. Like everything the man said, there was always the feeling that there was something he was not telling them. And, if they were to be working together, then he had to find out what it was.

Quatre looked around Dante’s sparse office. Apart from the desk, shelves, and skulls, the office looked surprisingly empty. A door in back presumably led to his personal living quarters, but that was it. He had several knickknacks on his desk.

While Dante led everyone to their temporary living quarters, Quatre stayed behind. He walked over to Dante’s desk, wanting to get a better look at the skulls.

A photo frame caught his eye. It was lying in a dark corner of the shelf, hidden from view. He picked it up.

It was a black and white photograph of a woman. Actually, brown and white. The photo was a lot older than that. The woman was sitting peacefully with her hands clasped in front of her. If the photo could have been transmuted into colour, that woman would have had long, blond hair. Quatre stared at the woman’s face. He gasped.

“What are you doing?” Dante demanded, slamming the back door open. Taking Quatre’s photograph, he tucked it in his inner jacket.

Quatre was speechless, as Dante appeared quiet but clearly angry. “I…. Who was that woman in the photo?”

“It was my mother. Now, get in, I need to speak to all of you.” He shoved Quatre gently yet firmly towards the back door.

When Quatre entered, he stepped on someone. “Ow, watch it,” Duo said, from his sleeping bag in the narrow hallway. Duo looked like a caterpillar as he shuffled in his sleeping bag down a few inches. He stopped when he bumped into Trowa’s sleeping bag.

“I’m afraid I do not have much room here, so you’ll have to make do. Besides, it’ll only be for one night.” Dante made a wide step over Duo’s head and lead Quatre to Dante’s own bedroom. It was also an extremely small room, and Heero was already waiting on a bed. Heero whistled and they all came over.

“First question,” Dante asked. “Do you all have weapons?”

They looked at one another. The war was long over. Why would they need weapons? They all shook their heads. “We used to pilot gundams, but they were all demolished,” Duo added helpfully.

“Pity. Since you have saved the world several times, I’m assuming that you all have some sort of combative training then?”

They all nodded, with the exception Quatre. Everyone stared at him. “I…,”

“He can operate machinery, no sweat.” Duo patted him reassuringly on the shoulder.

“Good.” Dante went over to a cupboard and opened it. “Take your pick,” he said to the boys.

They all gathered over. Woah…. A whole crap load of weapons were displayed in the velvet. Duo picked up the prize: a pair of twin guns, one black and one white.

“Those are mine,” Dante said, plucking them from Duo’s hands. “Ebony and Ivory, my favourites.”

Duo frowned, and looked at the next best thing: a sword.

As if reading Duo’s mind, Dante said, “That’s mine too,” and plucked the beautiful sword away from his grasp. “Force Edge, belonged to my father.” Dante laid them both carefully on his bed. “You can take your choose from the rest.”

Now that the hottest three items were gone, the collection of weapons looked mildly pathetic.

Wufei picked up a mean-looking blade with a silver dragon (what else?!) on the hilt. He hefted it, testing its weight. “Where did you get this?” he asked, looking at the blade admirably.

“I got that off a little devil I killed, 8 years ago. That blade almost killed me.”

Wufei instantly dropped the blade, as if it was cursed.

“How about this one?” Trowa asked. He was holding up something akin to a foot-long icepick.

“I also got that off a creature I killed. It took forever hell to get all its own blood off it.”

Trowa quietly put the icepick back down.

“Are ALL your weapons from some monster or other that you killed?” Duo asked in exasperation.

“Yes,” Dante said, not seeming to notice Duo’s sarcasm. “Except for mine.”

The boys looked at the dark weapons and sighed. This “mission” wasn’t turning out to be as hot as they’d thought. Why did everything have to do with killing and bloodshed? Not that they were ALL complaining, mind you. It’s just that they were not used to such…close contact with their victims.

“You had better rest,” Dante said. “Tomorrow will be a busy day.”

The G-Boys nodded. It was already past midnight. And they had some discussing to do.

Out in the hallway, after Dante had slammed his door, the boys lay tiredly down in their sleeping bags. Wufei began.

“This is all your fault, Maxwell. If it wasn’t for your roadtrip idea, we would not have gotten into such a deep predicament.”

“Hey, you’re the one that wanted to save the world!”

“Save the world from things that may or may not exist.”

“What about Trish?”

“She is merely an…,” Wufei looked a little dejected, “…ultra strong woman.”

“I believe it,” Heero muffled from deep within his sleeping bag.

“Believe what?” Wufei snapped.

But Heero was already fast asleep. His soft snoring filled the hallway.

“It could be anything!” Duo said in exasperation. “Believe Trish is superwoman, believe Trish is a demon, believe we can save the world….” Duo drifted off on that thought.

“There is something that I discovered,” Quatre whispered, not wanting Dante on the other side of the wall to hear.

Trowa looked at him, listening.

“I found an old photograph of a woman on Dante’s desk.”

“He has a girlfriend?” Duo asked. He made a face. “Who would want to go out with him?”

“No. I mean an old brown and white photograph, of this woman from the 1800s. Dante said that it was his mother.”

Trowa did some silent calculations on his long fingers. “This year is AC 198. So…,” Trowa made some complicated conversions. “The 1800s were about 900 years ago.”

“Are you telling me that Dante is 900 years old?!” Duo exclaimed. Quatre quickly hushed him.

Trowa nodded with absolute seriousness.

Duo rolled about on his sleeping bag. “I think I’m getting a headache….”

“There is something else,” Quatre whispered. “The woman in the photograph…looked exactly like Trish.”

“Woah, lemme see,” Duo said, looking more than a little perverted.

“It is with Dante,” Quatre replied in complete innocence.

“Hmm…,” Wufei surmised, a hand on his chin. “This may bring up many implications as to Dante’s motivations…and someone ruled by his heart and not by his head may not make a very reliable partner.”

“Dante is 900 years old…,” Duo was still whispering.

“Not to mention Dante’s father, who happens to be some form of ‘Lengendary Devil- Knight’ who defeated Mundus 2000 years ago…,”

“Which makes his father 2000 years old?!” Even Duo could do the math.

“Wait a moment,” Wufei said. “What did you say about Dante’s father before?”

“About what?”

“Something about him being a Devil-Knight…,”

“Legendary Devil-Knight….” Quatre gasped. “If Sparda was a Devil-Knight, then that would mean….”

“That Dante is half devil?!” Duo flopped down among his sleeping bag. “Now I’m really getting a headache.”

Quatre shivered, and glanced inadvertently at the wall, where Dante’s bedroom would be located. Oh, why did his sleeping bag have to be closest to that wall?

“We should get some sleep,” Trowa said, glancing at Heero.

“I don’t think I can,” Duo said, shrugging deep into his sleeping bag.

Quatre looked around at all his friends. I don’t think I can either.

From the other side of the wall, they could all hear Dante’s snoring.

And hear ends the first chapter of the tale of the Gundam Boys and Dante, Devil Hunter. What horrors await them on their first day of hunting demons early tomorrow morning? Find out, in the next exciting (yeah, right) tale of Gundam Wings Meets: Devil May Cry! (evil laughter, then Duo starts hacking and coughing). “Man, I’m not doing the ending finale next time….”

Back to Humour/"Fan" Fiction

All screenshots gotten from gamescreenshots.com!