friends

Joey: "That's right, I stepped up! She's my friend, and she needed help! If I had to, I'd pee on any one of you!"...
Chandler: "Joey kept screaming at me, 'Do it now! Do it! Do it! Do it now!' Some times late at night I can still hear the screaming."
Joey: "That's cause sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out."

Joey: "Alright, they got water, orange juice, and what looks like apple cider."
Chandler: "Taste it."
Joey: "Yep, it's fat! I drank fat!"
Chandler: "Yeah, I know. I did that two minutes ago."

Joey: "Look, that was the best nap I ever had!"
Ross: "I don't know what you're talking about."
Joey: "Come on! Admit it! That was the best nap you ever had!"
Ross: "I've had better."
Joey: "Okay, when?"
Ross: "Alright! Alright! It was the best nap ever!"

Chandler: "What are you doing?"
Joey: "Nothing."
Chandler: "You built a fort, didn't you?"
Joey: "Kinda.... Come on Chandler, Ross is our friend. He needs us right now, so why don't you be a grown up and come watch some TV in the fort!"

Phoebe: "Stop being so testosteroney!"
Chandler: "Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat!"

(Ross is wearing a white suit.)
Monica: I like it even better on you than on Colonel Sanders.
Ross: Look, I just came here to tell you guys something.
Rachel: Oh! Was it how you invented the cotton gin?

Joey: Ross, if homo sapiens actually were HOMO sapiens, is that why they�re exctinct?
Ross: Joey, they are people!
Joey: Hey, I�m not judging!

(Flipping a coin to choose between "ducks" and "clowns.")
Joey: "Heads" should be ducks, because ducks have heads.
Chandler: What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday parties?

Chandler: From now on, I have no first name.
Joey: So -- you're just Bing?
Chandler: I have no name.
Phoebe: All right, so what are we supposed to call you?
Chandler: Okay, for now, temporarily, you can call me... Clint.
Joey: No way are you cool enough to pull off Clint.
Chandler: Okay, so what name am I cool enough to pull off?
Phoebe: Um... Gene.
Chandler: It's Clint. It's Clint!
Joey: See ya later, Gene.
Phoebe: Bye, Gene.
Chandler: It's Clint! Clint!
Joey: What's up with Gene?

Rachel: See? Unisex!
Joey: Maybe *you* need sex. I just had it a few days ago.
Rachel: No, Joey, U-N-I-sex.
Joey: Well, I wouldn't say no to that!

Joey: She's mad because I know today's her laundry day and that means she's wearing her old lady underpants.

Chandler: [hangs up phone] I got her machine.
Joey: Her answering machine?
Chandler: No, no. Interestingly enough, her leaf-blower picked up.