| Internet Translations 4.4 Him: �Hi! A/S/L?� What you should say: �F/U/C/K O/F/F� Ok, simple directions � read the first statement and then the next one is what it REALLY means. Its as easy as a hooker in Tijuana! (Hi Mencher) Him: �I�m new to this on-line thing� = �I�ve got carpal tunnel because I spent all the hours on my Free AOL for a Month trial offer� Him: �So you have a boyfriend?� = �Even if you say yes, I still want to get in your pants� Him: �Wow, I haven�t seen you in awhile!� = �I�ve been incessantly stalking your ass, waiting every moment to see your screen name pop-up� Him: �Yeah I work full-time� = �At a pocket-pool hall!!� Him: �So do you have pics?� = �The last one I bagged on-line wore a cow bell� Him: �My friends think Im cute� = �They also put in my yearbook �You�re so nice � keep in touch (KIT) � and never called� Him: �My friends think Im cute� = �These same people happen to be regulars on Springer and drink T-bird with their Spam� Her: �I could lose a few pounds� = �The Stairmaster pleaded for mercy last time I used it� Him: �I�m a entrepreneur� � �Ever see Who Dropped the Soap? I produced it while serving time in the NY penal system � get it? Penal?� Him: �How many people have you met on-line?� = �What are my odds?� Him: ��wow, that�s what my friends say about me too!� = �my friends also say Im a raging bi-sexual necrophiliac chronic masterbatin� jizz monkey� Her: �That sounds interesting� = �about as interesting the NASA station� Him: �Ok well I gotta go� = �Rerun�s of Who�s the Boss are more entertaining than you� (authors note: �Alyssa, bring back the handcuffs and blindfolds, you little vixen�) Her: �Yeah I know Seth� = �When is that crack smoker ever gonna get out of Fargo?� |