How to interpret internet conversations

You think youre talking to the woman (or guy) of your dreams. You just can�t get over the description this person has given you and the conversation just seems so natural! Its like you�ve him/her all your life�..ahhhhhhh, all starry eyed! Well before you commit yourself to marriage, check out these translations � it may help you not commit yourself to an asylum!


What they say�.and what it really means:


�I�ve never really met anyone online before�  =  �I�m online 24-7 and all my dates come off AOL IM�s and 20s chatrooms.�

�You�re right, looks don�t matter� =  �Quasimodo looks better than me�

�What am I doing right now? Nothing much, just bored� = �I�m really surfing every porn site around with my pants down�

�I�ve got curves in all the right places� = �I can rest a 40oz Old Milwaukee on my hips�

�You wanna cyber?� = �You wanna cyber?�

�I�m in my 20�s and successful� = �I just turned 20 and can shotgun a beer in less than 10 seconds�

�Its been a little while since I�ve had a date� = �Moby Dick was a minnow when I last had some action�

�I can�t wait to hear from you again� = �I can�t wait to compulsively stalk you�

�You wanna chat?� = �Are you single and willing?�

�Nice pic� = �I am gonna get my jollies of this later tonight�

�LOL (laughing online)� = �LOL (Lying online)�

�Well, it was nice chatting with you� = �Listen you little freak, don�t ever IM me again otherwise I will block your punk ass�

�Well I gotta go� = �Well I gotta go get a towel� or �I�ve got better people to talk than you�



Seth�s homepage, complete with the archived stories and other modest endeavors:

http://www.geocities.com/sethmatthew