SMF 2/14/04

Happy Hallmark Holiday! As many of you are getting wined and dined, razzled and dazzled, wet and wild on Valentines day (and more power to you!) I have dug from the Seth archives an oldie and given it a revision.

Remember those chalky candy hearts with such romantic lines as �UR Cute� and �Bend me over on your king size?� (ok so guess which one I made up): Well in spring of 1999, I compiled the following list if I was given the opportunity to put subliminal messages on those candies:

Doink Me"    "Spank Me"  "3-some?"    "Dont fake an O"   "Im really a man"   "Nice rack"   "Are you rich?"    "Switch hit?"   "This is a roofie"   "This is my birth control pill"  "Im on the rag" �I need some nook!� �Want a protein shake?� �Bleach your mustache� �Boom I got your boyfriend� "Your impotent"  and lastly, "That wasn't chicken"


Well times have changed and so has my sense of humor so with that, I dedicate these to all those suppressed by the (wo)MAN, Cupid arrows shot crosseyed, and those still in the dating world (it�s like a fleamarket out there � so much junk but once in awhile you come across a prize and don�t even have to pay taxes on it)

�My Nizzle!�
�One nighter?�
�Buy me a drink�
�Whats your pin number?�
�I�m sorry Ms Jackson�
�I�m Lord of the Bizes�
�Put it right therrrre�
�Bounce a quarter off your ass�
�Google me�
�Restrain-order me�
�Nothing wrong with porn�
�Hey Hooch�
�Hung like a horse�
�Let�s go make our own Reality TV�
�You look great drunk�
�Off probation?�
�STD-free�
�I�m your dogg�
�Whats one more line?�


As always, forward this to anyone ya like. Well hope ya�ll have champagne-drenched wishes tonight and e-mail me if you have a better than average Valentines Day!!

-Seth
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