By SMF 1998
I always wondered if I whether or not the past 5 years of collegiate drinking has ever affected my memory� problem here was I always forgot think whether it truly did. However, 5 years later I realized that though I am sure a brain cell or two (million) have hopelessly lost their lives to a flurry of consumption and the fuzzy yet familiar aftermaths, I think it might be hereditary.
Exhibit A: my mother on a daily basis can not find one of the following: Keys or sunglasses. I have that same problem however I also had a problem with my wallet so now the keys are attached to that, narrowing down the items to forgot and making them a bigger target.
Exhibit B: my father has problems with the glasses- I have suggested contacts to remedy this situation but he tried them out in the early 80�s when contact lenses were like � inch thick glass�
Exhibit C: my brother who conveniently forgets when he takes something from my room with out permission thinking I will forget.
However I tend to take things to new levels- perhaps the Fishman family phenomena has mutated:
Stupid things I have done in the past few years:
Names: For some reason I�ve gotten slack ass on people�s names�Seinfeld example #33: I had a date in November with a girl I had drunkenly lip locked myself to at 238 (80�s night) and for some reason I swore her name was Rachel. Anyways, she never corrected me, except when she gave me her number (it was Sara). So I didn�t screw up until a crucial moment, I brought her home after dinner and I walked her into the living room and introduced to her to my former roommate and his ex-girlfriend�..�Heya guys, this is Rachel!� (SMACK!) Boy for some reason she had a real attitude and never called me back again. So to fix this problem, I now keep a running list of everyone I meet and something about them- I also say their name in conversation a lot so it sinks in- and it really works, even while having a beer or 5!
Case study #1: I have been known to frequently make instant oatmeal and putting it in the microwave�.without the water! Or better yet- boiling water but putting on the wrong burner. No, there is not a streak of blonde in me either�so I�m not Chef Boyardee�hey, I try.
Screw-up #1727: I filled out a job application and the supervisor�s name was Winnie Cooke�anyways I go in with Mencher at my side and ask the secretary if I could speak to Winnie COOPER (Think Wonder Years here!!!!!) To make matters worse, Ms Cooke was standing right behind me�needless to say I never got that job!
Most recent casualty: I filled out a change of address form for UF and my credit card and put down that I lived at SW instead of NW�I even gave my own father the wrong address.
Otherwise the usual �how did I get home� pondering or �I did what/said what to ____(fill in the blank)?� or usual side effects from renditions of me �partying like a rock star� (heya Jenem!) are to be expected and I fully attribute those to the limes in my Corona.
Anyways, I�m in the midst of relocating so whenever Ma Bell (got the Ill Communication) decides to grace me with her presence and gimme my new number I�ll let ya all know!