Have your ever sat down one day. Did you notice the soft green grass you were sitting on? Many people are exposed to it so often that they forget its there. Well I am here to expose the truth behind grass. I met with a man that lived in a trailer deep in the heart of Arizona for the facts about grass. Let me start off by explaining the process of making grass. There is a government base, in many ways like Area 51, where the grass in made by chemists in a lab. Secretly during the night, someone hired to install the grass goes around and planting the green substance. When you wake, you would never know the difference or what had occurred during the night. But the grass is in no way similar to regular grass. Granted that it is green and looks like grass, but its not. Each blade of grass contains a tiny camera capable of live video feeds as well as sound. These videos are then send to different locations where government employee's disguised as sanitation workers (Poo- doctors) monitor your every move and every sound you make. But what about when I cut my grass you say? Ah, the grass is made to grow like normal grass. The cameras are relocated after you cut it so cutting your grass does nothing. Another thing about this these camera's can see though your house. That�s right you�re not safe from the spying eyes of the government when you are getting dressed. And that�s right Chris, they can see you every time you take a crap. And I'm sure they get a kick out of it and your gi-mungus turds. What can you do? That�s simple. First you must start protests. This includes banning anything related to lawn care. Then I would suggest removing your lawn mower blades and having them professionally sharpened. Then get a group and go on a rampage. This could be mutilating everyone associated with the government. Or you could just send mail bombs. Whatever you like. Of course you must also remove all of your grass. The best way to do this is to rent a bobcat from your local rental place, then just dig a giant hole in your yard. Then cover your yard with a giant white or green tarp. On this tarp you put the phrase �Free Cookies for anyone who works for the government�. When they come and step on the tarp, they will fall into your pit and never get out. If you don't want them to suffer, you might put some sharp objects they could fall onto. That�s all you need to do. And remember the grass is WATCHING YOU. |
| All articles on this page used with the premission of Bennett Andrews |
| The Grass is Always Greener By Bennet Andrews |
| Bennett's Tips for Picking up little boys on the internet |
| Here is your guide to picking up little boys on the Internet. By little boys I mean 15. But it you want to try it with younger ones, go right ahead. Step One: Give yourself a girl name, something like Sam. Then come up with an age. I suggest 18/f/CA. Proceed to step 2. Step Two: This is where you find the boys. Look for chat rooms with keywords that boys would like boobs, naked, or pokemon. If you are lucky you might even find one called little boy ass loving hangout. Move on to step 3. Step Three: Find a boy and tell him you have lots of naked pictures of yourself. Then send these fake pictures to him. This will build his confidence. Then invite him over to your house. If you need to send him money and everything he will need. Precede to step 4. Step Four: When the boy comes into your house lock all the doors and you feel free to have your way with him. If you lucky, he won't mind. ...Have a lot of fun *Disclaimer: The sole purpose of this article was for educational purpose only. The act of having sex with little boys is illegal, so don�t say I didn't warn you. The opinions expressed in this article may or may not represent the author personal views and/or the views of the webmaster. One last note, it is perfectly legal to have sex with older boys. |
| By Bennett Andrews |
| The worst kind of culture is pop culture. Thats right the culture that brings us musical acts like Brittney, backstreet, and Avril, the punk queen herself. These artists have no talent, but at least they look good. Especially the boys from backstreet. If I ever got a chance to meet them I would beat them up then have sex with each and every one of them. It sad how the majority of Americans can be fed this bull shit manufactured music. It sucks and it all sounds the same. Another new trend that pisses me off is how cool it is to be not cool. What the hell is up with all the pop punk bands that all sound the same and suck. There's Avril "I'm punk because I shop at hot topic" and sing stupid music about how I'm punk and I don't get along with not punk people. But I can let Avril slide because she is young and Canadian. Not to mention she is damn hot. But the rest can't slide. I know I'm the minority on this but what the hell is it with the rest of the pop punk like blink 182, NFG, and the rest of them that all sound the same. Their music is about as punk as an apple tree and the lyrics suck. And all that they care about is getting chicks and money so they write stupid songs that people will like and then pretend to be all god like. And for some reason, they are all popular now and everyone seems to love them. It's the same with some "indie" bands like the hives and the strokes. It's like I'm cool because I listen to the real underground stuff like the hives and the strokes. Yeah right shut up. Another one that gets me is the come back a Reggae. I have nothing against Reggae, in fact it's pretty cool, but what's up with everyone thinking your cool if you listen to Reggae. I've seen more people with Reggae shirts that say listen to Bob Marley than I have seen in a long time. I have also heard many frat boys and cock heads talking to their homies about Reggae, which they probably know nothing about. Pop culture also brings fine movies like American Pie and Van Wilder. What's better than watching movies about men making love with pies and drinking man juice in their beer. Oh I know watching movies about super man spiders and black men getting their haircut. Give me a movie with some good old fashion chopping up and naked ladies and I will stop bitching. I'm Bennett and I say give me a break! |
| Pop Culture: Give me a break |
| By Bennett Andrews |
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| Author Bio To be Posted SOON! |
| Mr Bennett Andrews Pictured below: |