HOW MY WIFE LEARNED ABOUT KAREN

On October 31, 1997 (Halloween, for those not in the know), I bought my first ever article of clothing for Karen. I went to a Payless Shoe Source store and purchased a pair of black pumps. Shortly thereafter I started accumulating several items of clothing, A black print skirt and jeans from K-Mart, a bra and slip from Wal-Mart, pantyhose and tights from Walgreen's. Then on the first of December I purchased a pair of shoes for my wife to go with a dress she was wearing to her company Christmas party. I ended up buying the same pair for myself a week later.

From all this buying I started getting a feeling of guilt about hiding this from my wife. Wearing her clothes is one thing, but going out and spending money on Karen is, simply put, another but one I consider serious enough to really bother me. I never withheld anything regarding money from my wife the entire 26 years of marriage. It was getting to me. I try to be a person of integrity and honesty but at that time I wasn't.

On December 9, 1997, which so happened to be my mother's birthday, I called my wife at work around 10:00 a.m. I am in route sales so I am always on the road; I call her every day during the route and sometimes more. Our best conversations happen during these short chats.

Well, on this particular day, she noticed something was bothering me. She commented that I hadn't slept well the last two nights. She wanted to know what was wrong. I thought about it, tried to talk my way out of it, but she was persistent. Finally giving in, I took a deep breath, not knowing what the consequences may be, but I was willing at this time to accept whatever was to come. I truly could not hold back anymore.

I asked her if she remembered how I liked to wear articles of women's clothing. She said she did. I then told her it was more serious than that, that I was a CROSSDRESSER. The desires had intensified over the past year and I had the need to dress. I told her that I had been dressing more and more when she was not home. I confided in her that I had also started buying clothing. I then told her my femme name. She remembered that if we had a girl rather than a boy I wanted to name her Karen. She understood why I choose that name.

She wanted to ask a lot of questions but she had to get back to work. I did as well. I told her we would talk when we got home. I asked her if she is doing okay. And she said she was. I could only accept that she was telling me the truth. The rest of the day at work was tremendously nerve-wracking. I didn't know if my marriage would remain intact or not. I was not very confident about it.

That evening when we both got home from work we sat down and began a serious discussion. I had prepared myself with articles on the subject of crossdressing and transgenderism. I had copied them from various web sites on the Internet. Especially useful were articles I took from Vanessa and Linda Kaye's web page for couples. My wife read them and continued to bombard me with questions, which I welcomed. If she weren't talking to me it would be much more serious.

After the questioning, I told her that there was a movie about crossdressing and I asked her if she would like to see it. The movie is, "Just Like A Woman". She said yes. We rented it and it was a bad idea. It bothered her a lot. She didn't finish watching it that night. (She did the next morning.)

She looked at me and asked if she asked me to stop could I. I told her no. She then went into the bedroom looking upset. Again I didn't know what to expect. A short time later she came out and said let's try to work this out. She said she would rather live with me than without me. She also said she would like to speak with a psychologist about this matter and I told her that would be fine, (She ended up speaking to two different psychologists with differing opinions. She thought about what they said and made up her own mind.) She returned to the bedroom to go to sleep or so I thought. I told her I would come to bed in a little while. It was an emotional time for both of us.

When I went into the bedroom I saw lying on my side of the bed a beautiful blue turquoise chemise nightgown that I had bought for my wife the previous year for Christmas. My wife got up, picked up the nightgown and handed it to me saying, "This is for you." Tears filled my eyes as I realized that she still loved me and had enough courage to stay with me to work things out. I deeply love her. I know how lucky I am.