Even the Words Make Us Uncomfortable

The words "homosexual" and "homsexuality" often make people nervous, upset, or uncomfortable. Although it is a topic about which we all have done some thinking, and about which many of us have had (or do have) real concerns, it is not a topic which is easily or openly discussed. Many people simply dismiss homosexuality as "weird," "unnatural," or "sick." Homosexuals, or those people who are perceived as having homosexual traits, may be referred to as "faggots," "homos," "dykes," etc. Because of people's discomfort, many jokes are made about homosexuals and their lifestyles.

All of this suggests that not only are many people unwilling to accept someone who may be homosexual, but that they are threatened by the issue itself. It is difficult for some people to realize that being homosexual refers primarily to sexual orientation and that sexual orientation is only one part of a person's life. Like all human beings, homosexuals have many other attributes and
characteristics which have very little to do with their sexual orientation. [Note: "He" or "she" will be used interchangeably throughout this pamphlet to represent both males and females.]�

What Is Homosexuality?

Broadly defined, homosexuality means being sexually attracted to one's own sex.

Sexual orientation (whether we're attracted to the same sex or the opposite sex) can be viewed as a matter of degree. Heterosexuals are those people who as adults are sexually attracted to and aroused by those of the opposite sex. Homosexuals are those who, in adult life, are attracted to and aroused by members of the same sex. And there are some people, bisexuals, who are aroused by and enjoy sexual contact with both men and women.

Are Lesbians Different from Gays?

Yes and no. Homosexual females refer to themselves as both lesbian and gay, while homosexual males refer to themselves as gay. The difference between being lesbian and being gay is primarily a gender (male or female) distinction. Both male and female homosexuals (especially during adolescence) experience the same feelings and concerns about themselves: the fear of being "found out;" the fear of not fitting in or being accepted by family or friends; the fear of being "abnormal" or "crazy;" and feelings of oneliness.

The Treatment Is Often Not as Harsh

From a social point of view, lesbianism is tolerated more (it is less socially taboo) than male homosexuality, and it is perhaps for this reason that less attention has been focused on lesbians. One other reason why lesbianism may be tolerated more is because many people (primarily men) find it inconcievable that a woman could be sexually satisfied by anyone other than a man. Therefore, two women living together are more likely to be thought of as asexual (not having any sexual life) rather than being homosexual. Lesbians are more accepted because they can go unrecognized as homosexual.

The Obvious Is Not Always So Obvious

Differences between female and male homosexuals are not just due to their homosexuality but to the pressures and expectations society places on all of us. Among the differences research has found regarding gay men and lesbian women are:

�� -For men, early homosexual awareness comes about through sex play or exploration. For women, early homosexuality is usually brought on by "crushes" or romantic attachments which often have no observable sexual componant.

� -Men usually realize that they are homosexual (or at least "different") by the time they are 13 (and sometimes earlier). Women, on the other hand, often don't discover themselves to be lesbian until they are adults. Over 75% of lesbian women had earlier sexual relationships with men and over 30% have been married.

� -There is less promiscuity among lesbians than there is among male homosexuals.

Why Homosexuality?

How does a person come to be homosexual? Do people choose, at some point, to become homosexuals, or are they "born homosexual"? Is homosexuality determined by genes or chromosomes- is it inherited? Or does homosexuality come about as a result of environmental illness and, if so, can it be cured?

These are but a few of the questions researchers have been trying to answer. Currently, research� indicates that various factors may play a role.

A Biological Factor

The majority of homosexuals believe that being homosexual was not a conscious choice; they didn't choose it, they were just born that way. Just as we don't choose to be born male or female, the believe that we don't choose to be straight or gay.

Research has begun to support the belief that homosexuality is inborn. Recent studies have shown that in a tiny area at the base of the brain- a part that determines sex drive in all of us- is smaller in gay men than in straight men. If this is proven in wider studies, it will be a string indication that homosexuality- and heterosexuality- are determined by biology.

The idea that homosexuality is due to a hormone imbalance doesn't hold up as well. Studies have shown that attempts to treat or "cure" homosexuality with injections of sex hormones have only led to increased sexual drives, and have failed to change the sexual orientation of the people involved.

A Genetic Factor

Studies have been done to determine whether or not there is a genetic cause for homosexuality. While no research has conclusively found that homosexuality can be inherited, preliminary studies do make researchers very interested in what happens to identical twins. If identical twins were found to both be homosexual, and other possible contributing factors could be ruled out, a strong case of a genetic cause of homosexuality could be made.

Disturbed Family Relationships

One of the most common theories as to the cause of homosexuality in males is that homosexuality stems from disturbed family relationships.

Research has shown that up to 80% of gay men do come from disturbed families, but most heterosexuals grow up in the same situation. There are also many gay men who have grown up in happy, well-adjusted families and many heterosexual men who have grown up in disturbed families.

Today, most mental health professionals believe there is no single cause or single person which leads a child to homosexuality, but rather that there are many influences involved.

Homosexuals come from all types of families, cut across all social, economic, and ethnic groups and make up about 10% of every society in the world.

Almost all mental health professionals no longer believe a homosexuals can be "cured;" almost all such cures are followed by a return to homosexuality. Therapists who treat homosexuals today are more interested in helping them accept themselves as homosexuals and to adjust to that reality rather than attempting to help them become heterosexual.

Keep Things In Perspective

Sexual orientation is an important part of one's life; however, it does not define one's entire personality or existance. There are many qualities, interests, and abilities that have nothing to do with sexual orientation.

Only Part of Who You Are

A homosexual's life may be complicated by that homosexuality, but it is not the only determiner of the quality of that life. The sooner a person is able to come to terms with his or her homosexuality, the happier and more self-confident he or she will be, which in turn will make it easier to focus on and fulfill other parts of his or her life.

Myths and Stereotypes

Adolescents and Homosexuality

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Last Updated: January 27, 2000