About Carolyn

About Carolyn


Vital Statistics

Height: 5 ft. 10 in.

Weight: 162 lbs

Age: XL+

Locale: Maryland

Eyes: Hazel

Hair: Depends on the Mood

Sun Sign: Cancer
(Moody Moon Child -- see hair above)


History

Well, as Bill Cosby said, "I started out as a child," and that's about the size of it. At the age of 4, I first got
into my mother's things, and really enjoyed it. I don't know why, but I did know, even at that young age, this is
something you should not be caught at, but did. Maybe that is why I have always taken a defensive posture about
crossdressing, and why until recently, I haven't even been able to admit to myself that I am this way. Anyway, by
the time I was 5, my desire for this dropped virtually to nil, and I pursued all the things that little boys do.
The worst part at this point was that my family used to like to bring this past part of me back up periodically,
and God did it hurt. You want this to be over and not to have any aspect ever mentioned again.

At the age of 12 when the adolescent hormones started to kick in and the genetic girls in school started
wearing nice things the urge was there. The difficult part was getting time by myself was few and far between.
I managed to partially dress on very sporadic occasions, always in constant fear of being caught.
The summer when I turned 16 all hell broke lose. My mother went back to work, leaving me alone quite
a bit. I started wearing everything, hose, heels, make up, wigs, especially since I was not a very large
guy at the time. Absolutely wonderful. I continued whenever possible throughout high school despite
after school sports and regularly hanging out with guys doing traditional guy things. No one ever knew.

I commuted to college (state University was less than 20 miles away), dressing throughout, getting some
of my own things. After college, I lived with roommates -- this really contained the girl -- rarely
did I dress. I recall that at this time in life I had a pretty bad attitude about things (maybe there's
a connection here). Girl just has to be free! After a career turn, getting my own place, I got a new
wardrobe and dressed regularly. I was just about to the point where I was dedicated to this and remaining
single, when I met my future spouse (and friend from years past). We married 11 years ago, and although
she knew about this before we were married, she thought (as did I -- ha ha) that I would stop. Well, I
guess not, and after being forced into coming out in 1997, we are both currently dealing with it. Still
unsure as to what the future will bring.

Where does the "country girl" come from? Most of my life I have lived in rural areas (yes, Maryland
does have them) and I need my space. Farms, cows, trees, and open space are my preference,
although I don't dress like a farm girl. I've never had anything risqu� at all, that has never been me.
I don't even have an evening gown. I've always dressed in simple and easy outfits.


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