Coming Out Letter
Dear Mom and Dad,
There is something I want to tell you. Something that you probably do not
want to hear. Something that I have put off for a long time. It�s very personal,
something I have had to deal with alone for a long time now. It�s something you
probably already assume or suspect. It�s my sexuality; you see, I�m gay. Please do
not confuse this with �I might be gay� or �I think I�m gay� or �What if I�m gay� --
because thank God I�m well past that stage of dealing with this -- I definitely am
gay.
Now before you start assuming things, or getting upset, please hear me out.
First of all, I need you to know that this is not a �decision� I have made, nor is it
something I am doing for �attention,� and it is certainly not something I would have
deliberately chosen for myself. There was nothing in my childhood that �caused�
this. No one over ever raped me, I was never sexually abused, teased, tormented,
or forced into doing anything that could have �triggered� this. You have to believe
me when I say I was born this way. After fighting it for the past six or seven years,
I�ve accepted this to be the way I am, and in all honesty, it�s not really bad. With
over 25 million gay people in this country I know I�m not alone. I don�t feel this is
something that makes me abnormal, defected, or unworthy of a normal life.
I won�t ask you to understand or �agree with� my sexuality. However you do
need to know that it is not a problem for me anymore. I have gay friends who are my
support group, and while it may not be the mainstream, I know it will not stop me for
having a happy and productive life. We all have our challenges. All of my friends
have accepted me for who I am, not for who I choose to love. I can only hope you
will feel the same.
If you are wondering, �Why are you this way?� the answer is I don�t know.
Obviously I wouldn�t choose to be a member of a generally despised minority. I am
aware that unfortunately being gay means something having to deal with verbal and
maybe even physical abuse as well as discrimination, however I was born who I am,
just like you were born who you are. Despite everything I am very proud to be me --
which is more than a lot of people my age can say. I stress to you that I am not
unhappy. Furthermore, this is not something that can be �reversed,� so the thought
of having me �converted� through therapy or otherwise is not only ridiculous, but
very uneducated.
Mom and Dad -- I would never do anything to consciously hurt, embarrass,
or humiliate you. If my being gay causes you problems, I am truly sorry. But I
cannot, and will not live a lie any longer. I�m not saying I will start running down the
street shouting �I�m gay,� but likewise I will no longer deny it, or lie about it to save
you and anyone else from shame or discomfort. That wouldn�t be fair to me, and at
this point in my life I have to come first. If it does cause you any grief, or you feel
you will have a hard time dealing with this, then I suggest you get in touch with a
group called �PFLAG� which stands for Parents & Friends of Lesbians and Gays. I�m
sure they could be of help to you.
As for me? Again, no need to worry. Like I said before, I am happy. Happier
than I have been in a long time. Coming to terms with who I am has been like a
weight being lifted from my shoulders. I don�t worry about �what if someone finds
out� anymore. I am finally free.
To close, if I could only ask you one thing of you, it would be for you to please find
comfort in the fact that I am finally at peace with myself. You obviously are a big part
of my life, and I don�t want this to be something that will cause a distance between
us. That would be very sad, and not at all necessary. But I guess that will have to be
up to you. If and when you want to talk about it, I�ll be here.
Thank you for listening.