by Jeremy Wayne Couch
It began with a phone call
the first communication between us in three months
You asked if we could meet to walk and talk
I said we could, so we agreed on a time
when you would come to the Center to get me
As I hung up the phone
the shy, quiet girl, having come to visit
begged me not to go with you alone
I sent my Kassandra home
fearing her safety
though foolishly
not my own
How was I to know
someone whose glasses were broken
could see the future so clearly
The Housemom from Hell came home
I told her you were coming
warning her firmly to treat you with civility
Isn't it ironic how we so often defend
those who commit the greatest cruelties towards us
When you finally arrived
over an hour late
you didn't have enough courage
to step foot in the Housemother from Hell's domain
so you sent the kitten from next door in to fetch me
I was a bit surprised to see
our private walk was going to be
a car ride with the kitten
and a girl I didn't know
but as usual, I didn't protest
I suppose since I didn't strongly complain
I, too, am partly to blame
for how I was mistreated
Why do I feel such shame
recalling events you have probably forgotten
a shame that cuts far deeper
than any physical pain
Our drive ended at the park
We all stepped out of the car
into the bitter cold
The only sound
the crunching of the snow beneath our feet
I have always hated committing that transgression
destroying such ivory perfection
But nothing gold can stay
nor anything pure or white
We almost killed ourselves
crossing the river
The swinging bridge had been swept away
by the flood
If I had known what was going to happen
in a few short hours
I might have let the icy current take me
Better it than you
I might have
I cannot say for certain
It is best not to consider such possibilities
Once we reached the other side
you left me alone with the kitten
while you went off to talk
with the girl I didn't know
Funny, I would have sworn it was me
you said you wanted to talk with
The kitten and I
waited
Waited
WAITED
while the cold crept into our bodies
until finally we forgot we had ever known warmth
At last, you and the unfamiliar girl returned
You herded us all back to the car
sheep being herded by the wolf
Once we were there
you allowed the girl and the kitten to take shelter
but you told me to come with you
Obediantly
foolishly
I did
I followed you into the trees
As we walked beneath the leaves
I tried to catch my breath
but it was stolen by the breeze
Heavy silence smothered my words
When we had gone a certain distance
you stopped and turned
and began throwing words at me like stones
accusing me of crimes I had not committed
When I had heard too much
I turned to flee your stinging accusations
my eyes blinded by anger and hurt
but you grabbed my arm
growling, "Don't walk away from me!"
Feeling the power in your grip
I was afraid
yet I was also pleased
pleased to have raised a reaction
from one who normally shows less emotion
than a lizard
I turned to face you
knowing if I saw anger in your eyes
I would break free of your grip
The Old Spell would lose its hold on me forever
To my surprise
I found no anger in your eyes
Only pain, and a desperate kind of fear
There might also have been tears
but that could have been my own sentimentality
Seeing your pain, I loved you more
than I ever had before
Telling you so
there was nothing left to say
We walked in silence back to the car
We took the kitten home
That was when I made my mistake
I should have leapt from the car
and ran to the sanctuary of the
Housemother from Hell's domain
but I was drunk on love
false intoxicant
and felt safe
We took the girl whose name I still did not know
to your house because she was dating your roommate
who's first name was the same as yours
His last name translates into "Devil"
Yours, into "Black."
I should have known better
than to ever have stepped foot into a house
marked with omens so clear as that
Having rid ourselves of the girl
you began driving outside of town
This was nothing out of the ordinary
It was lightening
and we often drove away
from the distracting city lights
to bear witness to night time storms
writing their signatures across the sky
You asked why I hadn't gotten out of the car
when I had the chance
I answered honestly
"Because I wanted to spend more time with you."
I should never have revealed such dependency