by Jeremy Wayne Couch
When I was young I spoke like a child
but that's a foreign language to me now
I pick up the phone and try to talk to you
but can't seem to remember how
Just like Lisa, I was waiting for Wednesday
the day you were to tell me
if there was still an "us" or if "we"
were becoming a "you" and a "me"
but patience was never a virtue I possessed
So on Friday I followed Cyndi's advice
and drove all night just to get to you
but even after I'd driven
all the way to Lincoln
just to tell you "I love you"
you still had sex with another that very night
your first time with anyone besides me
knowing I was crying myself to sleep
except I never did get to sleep
just a few houses away
I guess if you're throwing away two years
three or four days don't really
make that much difference
Now you're moving to Lincoln
to be with another
'cause I don't hear the music
that makes you want to dance
So much for our future plans
and our two year history
but I just can't hear the siryns singing
Lincoln doesn't call to me
I wish I could stop having these dreams
where you and I are still together
and you tell me again
"I'll love you for always and forever."
No one should have created such words
Mercedes Lackey created a word
"Ashke"
which means "Beloved,"
but it means much more, too
It's a vow stronger than any ever made before a priest
But I guess you won't be making vows before any priests
since you're agnostic now
Strange how your faith in God
and your love for me
died together
You never should have called me
"Ashke"
because you didn't feel the same as I did
when I whispered that word in your ear
I thought Misty's stories had meant something to you
but you are no Vanyel or Tylendel
So here I am on the middle of this bridge
trying to find my faith, my hope, my courage
Boys on my left side
Boys on my right side
and you're not here
You're with the boys in their dresses
I truly hope you're happy in your new life
but I think you will make
a very odd looking wife
I heard that you cheated on your new lover
on your first Valentine's Day as a couple
by having a threesome
You always were a romantic
I suppose I should feel justified
that already you betrayed him
and never
at least to my knowledge
did you betray me
but it still makes me sad
to know you could treat anyone so shamefully
I doubt you feel any shame, though
So here I am on the middle of this bridge
trying to find my faith, my hope, my courage
Another Brad on my left side
Chris on my right side
He's moving to Lincoln just like you
God loves filling my life with
little coincidences and earthquakes
It didn't take much to rip us into pieces
Eventually, I'll pick a side
and run into the arms of a new lover
It hardly makes a difference
whether it's one man or the other
because I'll run away as soon as his hands
are too cruel
or I'll run away as soon as his heart
is too kind
I'll run like the wind because I can
but I can't leave myself behind
Tori sings, "I know you're late for your next parade.
You came to make sure
that I'm not running.
Well, I ran from him
in all kinds of ways.
Maybe it's his turn this time. . . .
If you see him, say 'Hi.'"
I look up to the man in the moon
the only man who sticks around
and I wonder why there aren't men
like that here on the ground
I see you in the water
I see you in the sky
If I jump off this bridge
will I fall or will I fly
Will you hold me when I die
If I fall asleep at the bottom of this lake
will you be there when I wake
I pray my Lord my soul to take
And where were you in my fairy tale
my three month long dream
of happily-ever-after
Erin, my first would-be-prince,
chasing after my virtue
and when he caught it I woke up
alone
to the sound of distant cruel laughter
Yeah, I can hear that
But what if I'm an angel
in these Z.Cavarichi jeans
with your name still on 'em
Hey but I don't care 'cause sometimes
I said sometimes
I hear a voice . . .
I hear a voice . . .
I think God is trying to tell me something,
but I can't hear
And where were you
when I met Will
He was so much like my mother
Her's was the only way
There was no room for any other
Where were you
when Will forced his will
and his body
on mine
Where were you
as the wind and I were crying
as the last of my innocence was dying
Tori says any kind of touch
is better than none
but the trouble with Tori is she's a liar
I don't think she knows the difference
between love and desire
and sometimes I'm scared
that I don't either
Afterwards I came to the park
and standing on this bridge in the dark
I looked up to the man in the moon
the only man who doesn't kick me around
and I wondered why there aren't men
like that here on the ground
I see you in the water
I see you in the sky
If I jump off this bridge
will I fall or will I fly
Will you hold me
when I die
If I fall asleep at the bottom of this lake
will you be there when I wake
I pray my Lord my life to take
You can laugh
It's kind of funny
the things we think in times like this
Like, I've never met a man
who tastes like honey
when we kiss
Did you hear, Jeff Buckley died?
I was there in Denver with Kathryn
as Jewel cried, "Where are my angels?
Where's my golden one? Where is the hope,
now that my heroes have gone?
Some are being beaten.
Some are being born.
And some can't tell the difference anymore."
I guess some strange birds are never meant to fly.
So you're moving to Lincoln
and Chris is moving to Lincoln, too
But I don't hear the siryns singing
No, Lincoln doesn't call to me
and neither do you
I'm afraid if I look up
I'll see myself falling
just another angel
You knocked down from the steeple
Just like Jann, I fell too fast
I feel too much
As I look up to the man in the moon
a prince who has not been crowned
I wonder if maybe there aren't men
like that here on the ground
I see you in the water
I see you in the sky
If I don't jump off this bridge
will I fall or will I fly
Will you hold me
if I survive
If I don't fall asleep
at the bottom of this lake
will you be here when I wake
I pray my Lord my pain to take
For I have sworn three fair
and thought three bright
Who art as black as hell, and dark as night