Title: Agony in the Garden: The Story of a Gay Minister Author: Howard Hannon Published by: OutWrite Publishing, 1996 ISBN: 1-887092-01-3 [trade paperback, 225 pages]
This book might also be entitled, "A Gay Presbyterian Minister's Odyssey." This is an account of the author's life beginning with the awakening of his sexuality and his spiritual life. As he looked back over his life he discovered that these two aspects of his life went hand in hand.As a young man of high school age Howard Hannon was an ardent fundamentalist. This religious background did not keep him from responding to sexual encounters when approached. Those sexual moments often produced a conflict between satisfying his sexual desires and his religious training which did not allow sex outside marriage. Following a stint in the Army Air Force as a chaplain's assistant, finishing his college education, he enrolled in the San Francisco Theological Seminary. In his studies he was exposed to what is known in Biblical Scholarship as the "Historical-Critical Approach." This freed him from the confines of the fundamentalistic approach, and opened new avenues of understanding the Biblical message. It did not free him from the internal struggle between his sexual and spiritual desires. In seminary he also learned that graduation did not mean he knew it all and continuing education became part of his professional life.
There are many people who have been turned off and away from the Christian faith by the institutional church with its quasi-fundamentalist approach. The institutional church and fundamentalists of today outdo the Pharisees of Jesus' day. The message of Jesus was to free the people of his day from the false confines of the Jewish faith, and the approach of this book is to free the reader from the confines of the institutional church of today.
Many gay men and lesbian women have looked to the church for support in their spiritual lives, only to find disdain, judgment, condemnation, and a "you are not wanted here" welcome. This may be the message of the institutional churches, but it is not the message of the Bible. Our sexual orientation is a given from the Divine, and only when we accept that given will we find peace within. The world tells us that happiness is the goal of our lives, but in the Gospel of John, Jesus said, "Peace is my parting gift to you, my own peace, such as the world cannot give." (John 14:17)
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