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THE COOKIES


A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U W Y


  • "Pro" is to "con" as "progress" is to "congress"
  • 386SX - Welcome to the United Wait States!
  • 43% of all statistics are totally worthless.

    A

  • A life? From what FTP-site can I download that?
  • A mind is a terrible thing...
  • A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.
  • A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.
  • A.C.L.U. - Association of Creepy Lawyers and Utopians
  • After installing the mailbox type in the following : FORMAT C:
  • All games are built on prophecy.
  • All sunshine makes a desert...
  • All you need is speed
  • Although some people say I am, I am not dum!!!
  • An engineer who can't write is just an overpaid technician.
  • Angels with dirty faces - so far from home...
  • Any IC protected by a fast acting fuse will protect the fuse
  • Any solution which fits all known facts can't be correct!
  • Anything you are looking for will always be in the last place you look for it.
  • As a species, it is time to grow up.

    B

  • BACK TO THE FUTURE --- without T-e-l-e-c-o-m
  • Be careful -- don`t trust your sleepy eyes
  • Be who you are and not who you want to be.
  • Beam me aboard Scotty. Aye, will a 2x4 do, Captain?
  • Beam me up Scotty, there's no intelligent life down on this planet!
  • Biochemists wear designer genes...
  • Black holes really suck...
  • Black Holes were created when God divided by zero!
  • Borg spreadsheet: Locutus 1-2-3
  • Borg? Where? I don't se*(#$#..NO CARRIER
  • Breaking into the Pattern room just 'cause it's there is sillier than climbing Mount Everest
    just 'cause it's there, because Mount Everest doesn't have a gang of psychopathic millenaries
    who will chase you around and be upset at you for the rest of your very short life.
  • Bring your Daughter to the Slaughter

    C

  • California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
  • Check your hormones at the door. THANKS - The Management
  • Coffee allocation error. (A)bort, (R)etry, (S)uicide?
  • Confused? Call Counselor Troi 1-900-NCC-1701: $1.95/minute
  • Core error -- bus dumped.
  • Corrollary to the Golden Rule: "98% of all errors are human errors".
  • CPU not found. (R)etry, (A)bort, (I)gnore?
  • CRAY expected, WINDOWS 11.2 terminated abnormally

    D

  • Dare to be stupid...
  • Deep Thought: Every sound-minded individual who can justify his/her existance
    should obey rules of the abstract subjectivism!
  • Definition of Terror: A female Klingon with PMS.
  • Disc space - The final frontier!
  • Do not ask the Yak. They never know the way.
  • Don't Blame Me! I Voted With The Majority!
  • Don't dream it...BE it
  • Don't force it, get a larger hammer.
  • Don't worry - be flexible
  • Don't worry - I have the perfect way to cure your split personality.
    Which one do you want me to shoot?
  • DOS never says "EXCELLENT command or filename"...

    E

  • Eternity is long... especially in the end.
  • Evans' first law of information: "Information flows uphill and against the wind
    to where it can do the most damage."
  • Even in this corner of the galaxy, Captain, 2+2=4 ... Spock
  • Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.
  • Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.

    F

  • Fast. Powerful. User-friendly. Now choose any two.
  • FAT on drive C unreadable: A)bort, R)etry, P)anic
  • Favorite saying - Byte Me ;)
  • Fearlessly the idiot faced the crowd, smiling...
  • Flashbeer not found - Webmaster not loaded!
  • Food, Food, glorious food! I weigh 325 pounds and I love eating as you can see.
    I think everybody should be just like me! Fat,Fat,Fat!
  • For every person that believes there is an easy way out,
    there are one-hundred and one people waiting to stop them.
  • For the next Message, press CTRL + ALT + DEL!

    G

  • Get up, Setup, Stand up for Your Byte
  • God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
  • God is big, Human is small - so I am somewhere between them.
  • God is good..... Pascal is better...:-)
  • God is real - until declared integer!
  • God save the Screen
  • God spoke, "A little liberal shall lead them .."
  • Good things come to those who wait. Crap arrives the fastest.
  • Goodbye sweet 16, it's 32 bit time

    H

  • Have it OUR way. Yours is IRRELEVANT. At BORGerKing.
  • Hey, guys! I found the last BugBugBugBugBugBugBugBugBugBugBugBugB
  • Hey, Worf...I hooked Data up to a Modem...Wanna see?
  • Hillary Clinton AKA Madam President
  • History never repeats itself... Historian merely repeat each other...
  • Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect,
    even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
  • How come the AT&T logo looks like the Death Star?
  • How do you know if your mission in life is complete? If you're still alive, it isn't.

    I

  • I am Clinton of Borg. Your income will be assimilated.
  • I am Homer of Borg! Prepare to be...OOooooo! Donuts!!!
  • I am Lancelot of Borg. Resistance is feudal.
  • I came, I saw - and I went farther...
  • I can't get no sad connection! Oh no no no!!!
  • I do not like visitors - Stay a while - Stay forever!
  • I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work.
  • I haven't lost my mind: it's backed up on tape somewhere!
  • I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but am sure you realise
    that what you heard is not what I meant to say...Which is...
    You can do it anyway you want to as long as you do it my way first......!
  • I think that I shall never see,
    A billboard as lovely as a tree.
    And if perchance that tree should fall,
    It will make a sound as it crushes your skull.
  • If all else fails, REBOOT (works almost every time)!
  • If at first you don't succeed.....CHEAT!
  • If at first you don't suceed, fail, fail again!
  • If God is Love, and Love is Blind, is Ray Charles God?
  • If it doesn't fit, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway
  • If it wont fit... Use a bigger hammer !!!
  • If Music be the Food of Love � Logon!
  • If Q were castrated, would he become O?
  • If there's no way, we'll make one!
  • If they throw lemons, make lemonade
  • If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club?
  • If you can't feel it, you won't understand.
  • If you don't want a power shut off, DO BACKUPS !!
  • If you learn from mistakes, you'll learn a lot today...
  • If you want your PC a Gameboy, type at C: WIN
  • I'm an Instant Asshole - just add Alcohol!
  • I'm heavy on wire.
  • I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
  • I'm looking for myself, have you seen me anywhere?
  • I'm not cuddly all the time...I'm just myself...
  • I'm not racist, I hate everyone
  • I'm too sexy for this cookie
  • Imagination is more important than knowledge.
  • In a mad world, only the mad are sane.
  • Information demands to be free for only mediocre people like censorship.
    Unfortunately, one can't be totally opposed to some form of censorship
    as personal feelings are always involved.
  • Intel inside... and outside???
  • Is there a life before coffee?
  • It has been shown that laboratory research causes cancer in rats.
  • It isn't so easy to be the God
  • It just doesn't get any (ETA than this ...
  • It`s not a trick, it`s a.... I`ll find the problem.
  • It's better to be late arriving than not to arrive at all...
  • It's better to have it and not need it than to need it and not to have it.
  • It's like, at the end, there's this surprise quiz: am I proud of me?
    I gave my LIFE to become the person I am right now!
    Was it worth what I paid?
  • It's not a bug, it's me.
  • It's not a bug... it's a feature.
  • It's not a good idea to have a coffee drinking contest.
  • It's not how big it is, but how long it stays up...
  • It's sweet to be remembered, but cheaper to be forgotten...

    J

  • Join the Group Mind - become a Borg
  • Just another comic actor behind a tragic mask
  • Just because you're you doesn't mean I'm not!

    K

  • Keep on dreaming and stay positive
  • Keyboard error - Press F1 to resume.
  • Kill it before it dies! ;)

    L

  • Labels are devices for saving talkative persons the trouble of thinking.
  • Law of programming: Constants aren't, variables won't.
  • Law of Standards: The degree of adherence to standards and procedures
    is inversely proportional to the proximity of a deadline.
  • Let's surf together...
  • Life is a bad adventure but the graphic is really good
  • Life is a yo-yo and mankind ties knots in the string.
  • Life is full of decisions, but you never get to make any
  • Life is the living you do, death is the living you don't.
  • Life's a trip...not an ego one.
  • Live fast, love hard, die young!
  • Live, love, and learn... As best as you can.
  • Loud Pipes save lives!

    M

  • Make it as simple as possible, but not simpler
  • MIPS = 2 (current_year - 1984)
  • Modem not listening! Hang up failed!
  • Mommy, can I go out and kill tonight ?
  • Money is the root of all evil - and man needs roots.
  • My head is my backup!
  • My life is still in BETA test...
  • My other car is also a Porsche.
  • My other vehicle is a Galaxy Class Starship ...

    N

  • Never touch a running system.
  • Never turn away a disgruntled blonde user.
  • No mail today, my love has gone away...
  • No matter where you go on a bike, it is uphill and into the wind.
  • No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
  • No warranty for any statement below this line!
  • No wine, no wife, no CARRIER.......
  • No ZyXEL Modem - System Halted!
  • No, Q, I meant a BUD light!
  • No, Taco Bell is NOT the Mexican telephone company!

    O

  • Obe Wan Kenobi at the dinner table: "Use the FORKS, Luke!"
  • Object-oriented is a semantically overloaded term
  • OH SH*T You did it just like I told you ?!?
  • OK Scotty, NOW! Detonate and energize! I mean.......
  • On-Line? Hit ALT-H for a quick I.Q. test
  • Only in sleep is one immortal...unless you hit the ground at the bottom of the cliff.
  • OS/2 - you CAN beat the real-mode!
  • OS/2 opens horizons and closes Windows
  • OS/2 VIRUS SCAN ... WINDOWS found!! DELETE ? [YES/yes] _
  • Out of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most...

    P

  • Please insert Drive C: into Drive A:
  • Press any key to continue or any other key to quit
  • Press CTRL-ALT-DEL for online games...
  • Profanity is the one language all programmers know well.

    Q

  • Q: What do you get when you cross a crooked politician
    with a crooked lawyer? A: Chelsea
  • Q: Why haven't any of us done anything latley?
    A: Because we've been too busy reading these stupid comments!
  • Question - What is the definition of a constant Variable?

    R

  • RAP sounds like a recorded cleaningtape.. :-)
  • Real programmers do it in OS/2
  • Real programmers use COPY CON PROGRAM.EXE
  • Real Trekkers work out at the He's Dead Gym.
  • Reality is for people who can't handle Star Trek.
  • Restatement of Corrollary: "Stupid is as stupid does, sir."
  • Rigid flexibility... the key to indecision!!
  • Romulan warbird decloaking sir... �"[���� NO CARRIER

    S

  • Said of a user - He was a roadkill on the information super highway.
  • Scotty, HURRY! Beam me u.�d�{�Պ.R� 'W�..�#c(&NO CARRIER
  • Shakespeare shakes Beer!
  • So long, and thanks for all the fish
  • Sometimes it works, normally it DOS'nt
  • Sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
  • Symbol table full - fatal heap error; please go buy a RAM up

    T

  • Tea allocation error - operator halted
  • That which does not kill me can still hurt a lot.
  • The fool escaped from paradise will look over his shoulder and cry
  • The Golden Rule of Computers: "Computers do what they are told".
  • The point, that doesn't upset isn't a point.
  • The road to hell is paved with politicians.
  • The rule of all software: The ratio of how useless a software package really is
    is in direct proportion to the time spent on it.
  • The speed of the Web is inversly proportional to how many people you are demonstrating it to....
  • The universe is a spheroid region 705 meters in diameter...
  • The Universe is just one of those things that happen from time to time.
  • There are two ways of thinking: mine and the wrong one...
  • There is a place in hell for me and my friends...
  • There is no freshness date on software; bits do not spontaneously cay.
    If it worked yesterday, but isn't working today, assume the Corrollary to the Golden Rule.
  • There is no way to Freedom. Freedom IS the way.
  • This is your last life! Sorry, you lose!
  • This COOKIE is Shareware. Send me 10$ to register!
  • This post is made of 100% recycled electrons
  • Through experiencing fear, one learns bravery.
  • Time is money - especially in Telecom
  • To do is to be (Hegel). To be is to do (Marx). Doobeedoobeedoo (Sinatra)
  • To go to a small expensive school is like living in a bottle!
  • To Hell With The Icons - Where's My Prompt?
  • To live is to live with the feeling of life.
  • Together we are strong - united we are invincible

    U

  • UNIX is a terrible thing to mind...
  • Unix -is- user friendly... it's just picky about its friends.
  • UNIX systems always run in one state or another...
  • User error - (A)bort, (R)etry, (K)ill ????

    W

  • Waiter, there's a terrorist in my soup.
  • We're from the government and we're here to help you
  • What is OS/2 in Spanish - dos DOS?
  • What the hell..I said NO MORE QUOTINGS!!
  • What's this red button fo����~�� NO CARRIER
  • When life sucks, suck life!
  • When things go wrong, don't go with them.
  • Where am I going? And, WHY AM I IN THIS HANDBASKET?????
  • Which comes first, the chicken or the egg?
  • Why get married? Leasing is so simple...
  • Windows - from the people who brought EDLIN to you!
  • Woman, Can't live with them ....... Pass the beer nuts!
  • WORK HARDER!... Millions on welfare depend on YOU!!!
  • Wow! too munths ago I kuddent spel enjinear - now I are one!
  • Writing to Washington won't help -- he's dead!

    Y

  • You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
  • Your 486 is too fast? Come to us! Microsoft....
  • Your FUTURE starts TODAY!
  • YOUR WORST DAY IS STILL TO COME

    • Disclaimer


    All the cookies included in the list shown above were taken either
    from public mails posted in Internet newsgroups and in Fidonet conferences
    or from WWW pages, hence they are believed to be public domain.


    Jacek

    This page created 7 June 1997
    Last modifications made 7 June 1997

    Authors of all pictures, photos and icons used on this page - for my best knowledge - withdrew their copyrights allowing everybody to publish their works without prior approval.
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