The Cure for Nikolas' Illness is Obvious: S'MORES!
I don't know why I hadn't thought of it earlier! I mean, I can understand the confusion and concern and
all, expressive dysphasia is a VERY serious impairment and should be treated carefully. But I am sure that
as soon as Tony gets back the results on the next round of MRI's, a light bulb will go off in his head as he
recalls research detailed in the latest AMA Journal, and the answer will become clear to him: S'MORES!
Tony quickly hails Bobbie, passing by in the hallway. ''Bobbie, what have you heard about s'mores in
treating dysphasia?''
Bobbie's eyes bulge a bit at the unusual suggestion, then she nods. ''Well, I know that Brenda Barrett is
being treated for her mental breakdown with s'mores. In fact, she was signed out just a few hours ago.
So...s'mores must work!''
With that said, Tony orders, STAT, a full set of graham crackers, marshmallows and Hershey bars (while
medical science acknowledges the healing powers of Nestle chocolate, clinical trials prove that Hershey
results in 8% faster reaction times). Sarah proactively employs a trash can and a smoldering look from
white-hot sister Lizzie to spark up a tiny campfire in the hallway, much to Stefan's disproving eye.
''Miss Webber, might I inquire as to what you are seeking to accomplish with this small conflaguration in
the corridor?''
''It's for Nikolas' own good, Mr. Cassidine,'' Sarah shouts, preparing the miracle-cure treats, excited for
the recovery of her boyfriend. ''Let me save him with the wholesome goodness of s'mores!''
Stefan replies, ''Miss Webber, in Greece we have no awareness of these ''smores'' foodtsuffs! I
command you to cease your melting of the sweet chocolate candy NOW, before I have you removed!''
But Stefan's words fall on stubborn ears, as the Barbie-like Miss Webber tends to the flames, pressing the
soft, velvety puffs of marshmallow between crispy crackers. While doing so, Audrey walks by.
''Gram!'', Sarah yells.
Audrey looks over at her niece and the s'mores. ''Yes, Sarah. Those *are* GRAHAM crackers...and they
do make for the tastiest s'mores....Why, it reminds me of the times when me and my sister Lucille were
girl scouts...'' As Audrey prattles on with another tale of sibling rivalry, Sarah completes the fifth s'more,
and hurries them into Tony onto a metal tray.
Tony asks Sarah, ''Okay, now you prepared these exactly as I specified, correct? 4 squares of chocolate,
two graham crackers...''
''...and one marshmallow, doctor!'', Sarah finishes.
Tony raises an eyebrow. ''A FULL-size marshmallow, right? Not one of those mini ones?''
Sarah nods in agreement, smiling.
''Good,'' Tony replies, ''because after all we are treating dysphasia here, not making cocoa. This is verys
erious business. Now let's cross our fingers and hope for the best...'' Tony slowly starts to feed the first
s'more to Nikolas, who resists. Nikolas grabs his pad, scribbles, and holds it up for them to see: ''I NO
LIKE GRAHAM''
Sarah bursts into tears, sobbing, ''What did my grandmother ever do to you!!!''
Nikolas grabs back the pad, underlining the word GRAHAM several times, and holds it back up. Sarah
comes to her senses, and calms down. But Alexis, walking by, sees his sign and starts bursting into tears,
sobbing. Nikolas shakes his head, and scribbles again: GRAHAM, not GRAHN!!!!'' Alexis calms down
and continues with hiding her belly.
Tony tells Nikolas, ''The s'mores are for your own good. Now, it's up to you, you can either speak like
Tonto for the rest of your life, or like a Cassidine--I suggest you take these s'mores NOW.'' Nikolas
complies, and is surprised at the crisp, sweet goodness of the warm treats. After the fifth s'more is
consumed, Tony wipes some melted chocolate off Nik's lips, then escorts Sarah out of the room. ''All we
can do now is let him rest...and wait.''
Tony walks away, and Sarah stares into the window of Nikolas' room, filled with hope. ''Come on,
Nikolas....let the s'mores work their wonder....'' Lizzie arrives and puts her arm around her older sister,
comforting her.
Lizzie whispers, ''Everything will be alright, sis...everything will be alright...the s'mores are
working...''
As the two Webber girls share a quiet moment, Brenda comes barreling down the corridor pushing a
gurney at breakneck speed and wearing a red bandana on her head, screaming, ''Look out, everyone, I'm
a race car driver!! I'll run you over with my Sonny-Mobile!!! This is my punishment for wearing the
wire!!! Get outta my way!!! Don't make me use my tripod!!!!!'' The insane supermodel turns the corner,
and vanishes down towards the CCU. A few seconds later, Jax comes racing through the area, chasing
after her.
''Come back, Brenda! I got the dosage wrong! I bought dark chocolate instead of milk chocolate!! COME
BACK!!!''..........
