1. What is Carly using for birth control? Strategically-placed squares of Saran Wrap?
2. First Stone dies, now Jason leaves… Who will be Sonny’s new sidekick? How does Lucas look in a leather bomber jacket?
3. Seeing Sarah Brown (Carly) share a scene with former leading man Brad Maule (Tony), you just know she had to be thinking to herself, “At least THAT storyline had a beginning, middle and an end.”
4. According to the Port Charles Chamber of Commerce, no fewer than seven upstate New York hair styling product companies went out of business within a week after Jason’s departure. Interesting.
5. I’m assuming that at some point Johnny-the-bodyguard will learn to BLOCK THE PENTHOUSE DOORWAY when reluctantly announcing Carly’s arrival?
6. I mean the guy is about as formidable a barrier as the diaphragm Carly isn’t using.
7. Laura, share your diet with Alan.
8. I’m guessing that if Faison’s boat hadn’t been scared away by Mac, he would have gone on to say to Luke, “...the problem is, we just have no idea who will be playing him!”
9. Speaking of Mac, he cracks me up. This guy has seen more people come back fron the dead than Buffy Summers, yet he still insists that Faison is now, once and for all, deceased.
10. Imagine all that Mike and Tammy have to talk about on their dates. For starters, there’s how they both have experience dating people for large sums of money...
11. Surrounded by a new Nikolas, and likely Lucky and Jason recasts, does Rebecca Herbst ever feel like she’s the Jaclyn Smith in a GH version of CHARLIE’S ANGELS?
12. Reginald, please save us from this eternal damnation and poison Gertrude!
13. After all, that would free up Donna Pescow to go join Steve Burton in the filming of “Out Of This World: The Movie.”
14. Mac, teaching Logic 101: “Felicia, listen to me. Faison has fooled expert witnesses by faking his death in a stunning boat explosion once before. There is no way this twisted criminal mastermind would do it again.”
15. “Hey, A, we’re making you the FATHER of this outrageously curvy 27-year-old FBI agent.” OUCH! There goes those Tiger Beat covers.
16. Tony, you recognized Carly even under that Samuel L. Jackson beret? Damn, you should be a WSB agent like your brother!
17. Okay, so Stephen Nichols and Tony Geary pass each other in the hallway, and... No joke, that’s it. They simply pass each other. Because they don’t recognize each other. Because they don’t have scenes together any more. Oh, never mind.
18. “Hello, is this the DAYS OF OUR LIVES prop department? I was just wondering if you still have the coffin that Patch was carried away in nine years ago. Who am I? Um, er, my name is, uh, Nicholas. Nicholas Stephens.”
19. The new L&B Offices, and The Max on SAVED BY THE BELL: seperated at birth?
20. Okay, we’ve had the Cassidines try to take over the world, David Gray try to take over the world, and Cesar Faison try to take over the world. This summer: Jax’s hair tries to take over the world! RUN!!!!
21. Flashback to Helena’s college days... FRAT BROTHER #1: “Yo, Helena, bring your cup over and help us kill this keg!” HELENA: “No, my dear... I have far more sinister plans for that keg. Far more sinister plans, indeed...”
22. HANNAH, GETTING DESPERATE: “Sonny, to prove how much I love you, I just put bullets into the heads of agents Larkin and Ford, and even left the gun behind with my ...fingerprints on... it. Oops. Damn!”
23. How fun would it be to learn that A.J. has been keeping Nikki Langton in a Port Charles Hotel suite for months, and has been getting his rocks off with her this whole time that Carly has been denying him?
24. I’m choosing to pretend that Hannah is not really Roy’s daughter, but instead they are lovers and this is just some extremely kinky role-playing thing they’re into. Who’s with me, guys!
25. REGIS: “Okay, Bobbie, now let’s take a look at the $1,000,000 question. Can you remember the last name of the fiancé who left you last month? A: James. B. Jax. C. Garcia. D. Springer.”
