If you're interested in writing fanfiction, contact me at: [email protected]
DISCLAIMER!!!!!!!!!!
All characters, names, and settings are property of Warner Bros. They are used here for fun and were not used in anyway to receive profit.
Disclaimer: All of the characters are mine. Mine I tell you! Actually, only the
character of Jackie belongs to me, but there's always wishful thinking, right?
The rest belong to Michael Crichton, their creator.
Background: The setting is a party at Jackie's house. Mark, Susan, Carol, and
Doug are all there. The five of them are co-workers at County General. This
story HAS NO POINT. If you look for meaning in it, you ain't gonna find it. It's
just a bunch of words that should be read quickly to get the full effect. I might
attempt to do more stories in this style, so please send me comments, good or
bad. If you like it, tell me. If it just plain sucks, I'd like to know that too. E-mail
me at [email protected]. Thanks!
ER
"The Party"
Jackie: Drinks anyone?
Mark: Sure.
Carol: I'll take a Manhattan.
Susan: Straight up, two cherries?
Carol: You know it girl!
Susan: Same for me.
Jackie: No Manhattans. Vodka, beer, tequila. Take your pick.
Mark: Beer.
Carol: Vodka.
Doug: Ooh, heavy drinker! I like that in a woman.
Carol: Shut up Doug.
Susan: I need some tequila.
Doug: Bring me some vodka and a tequila chaser.
Mark: Talk about heavy drinking.
Doug: Hey! I plan on having a good time.
Carol: Oh, so you need to be drunk to have a good time?
Doug: No, I need YOU to be drunk so WE can have a good time.
Carol: Shut up Doug.
Doug: Never.
Mark: Susan, want a beer?
Susan: Sure.
Carol: Isn't that your fifth?
Susan: Who's counting?
Doug: 1,2,3...
Susan: Doug!
Doug: ..4,5,6..
Susan: Doug, stop!
Carol: Whoa, looks like Mark wants you drunk.
Doug: Just plain wants you, is more like it.
Mark: Shut up Doug!
Doug: It's true.
Mark: With all of us drinking, who's driving home?
Doug: I'll drive.
Carol: You will not!
Susan: Mark?
Mark: Susan?
Susan: Me?
Mark: You?
Susan: You?
Mark: Me?
Susan: Who?
Mark: Who?
Both: Jackie?
Jackie: No way.
Carol: Why not?
Jackie: THIS is my home. I'm not going anywhere.
Susan: Well, what are we gonna do?
Jackie: Stay here. There's room.
Mark: Yeah, but only two beds.
Jackie: I'll take the floor.
Carol: Susan?
Susan: Carol?
Both: We're not sleeping with THEM!
Doug: Hey!
Mark: Why not? Could be fun.
Susan: Well... I COULD sleep with Mark...
Carol: No you don't! You're not sticking me with HIM!
Doug: I'm not that bad, am I?
All: Yes you are!
Doug: Okay, point taken.
Mark: Actually, Susan's idea wasn't all that bad...
Carol: Nope. Susan's my roomie tonight.
Mark: Aw, I never get to have any fun.
Doug: Me neither.
Jackie: Behave you two.
Carol: Behave? Them?
Susan: Not happening.
Mark: I'm hungry.
Doug: Me too.
Mark: Suggestions?
Carol: Pizza.
Doug: Tacos.
Susan: Chinese.
Mark: Burgers.
Jackie: Take out? Who's driving?
Doug: I'll drive.
Carol: You will not!
Susan: Mark?
Mark: Susan?
Susan: Me?
Mark: You?
Susan: You?
Mark: Me?
Susan: Who?
Mark: I love you.
Susan: What?
Mark: Nothing.
Susan: You said something.
Mark: Never mind.
Susan: Sure.
Mark: Fine.
Both: Whatever!
Jackie: I've got peanut butter and white bread.
Doug: Ala peanut butter sandwiches!
Susan: Today's episode has been brought to you by the letters E and R.
Jackie: She's wasted.
Carol: Maybe not. Hasn't taken the test yet.
Jackie: What test?
Carol: The Doug test.
Jackie: What!?
Mark: Huh?
Doug: Excuse me!?
Carol: Susan, do you think that Doug looks good?
Susan: He's one sexy man!
Carol: She IS wasted!
Doug: Hey!
Mark: Actually, he IS kinda sexy.
Jackie: Okay, they're BOTH completely drunk.
Susan: Mark, you're one fine guy too.
Mark: And you're rather sexy.
Susan: Mark...
Mark: Susan...
Both: I love you.
Jackie: Hello! Are we not in the room?
Carol: I can't believe they're making out right in front of us!
Doug: Yeah, get a room!
Mark: Gladly!
Susan: Carol, I don't think I'll be rooming with you tonight.
Mark: Yeah, we'll be rather busy.
Susan: Ooh! Let's not waste any time!
Doug: Looks like they're gonna have fun.
Carol: Hey, where's Jackie?
Doug: Don't know.
Carol: Hope she didn't get locked in with those two.
Doug: She definately wouldn't be sleeping tonight!
Carol: What was that?
Doug: Ah, just Mark and Susan.
Carol: No, not that.
Doug: Oh. Toilet flush.
Carol: Jackie must be in the bathroom.
Doug: Jackie!
Carol: Jackie!
Doug: Go check on her.
Carol: I'm not cleaning up any puke!
Doug: Isn't that a nurses job?
Carol: Shut up Doug!
Doug: Well...
Carol: She passed out.
Doug: Huh?
Carol: Guess she's sleeping in the tub.
Doug: Three drunk, two to go.
Carol: Nope. I'm going to bed.
Doug: I'll take the couch.
Carol: Are you sure?
Doug: Yeah, I'll be fine.
Carol: Okay.
Doug: Carol?
Carol: Doug?
Doug: Uh... never mind.
Carol: Sure.
Doug: Fine.
Both: Whatever!
Carol: 99 bottles of beer on the wall...
Doug: 99 bottles of beer...
Carol: If one of those bottles should happen to fall...
Both: 98 bottles of beer on the wall.
Doug: Mark! Susan! Keep it down in there!
Carol: Yeah, some of us are trying to sleep!
Doug: Carol, is Jackie still passed out?
Carol: Yeah. Lucky.
Doug: She's the only one getting any sleep.
Carol: I wish I could pass out.
Doug: We should of had more to drink.
Carol: There's always that bottle of tequila on the counter...
Doug: Let's get it.
THE END
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