point of view, but im warning y'all, its a big tear jerker, (I hope)
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Title: For I can no longer call you lover.
Author: Missy not morbid today even though the story is
Pairing: F/S
Archive: yes please
Feedback: YES PLEASE! feedback yummy yummy!
can you bend spoons: what spoon? there is no spoon!
Warnings: ANGST(like I'd write much else), and not a happy ending. (I know
half of you just ran away now, but oh well.)
SUMMERY: Companion piece to "The absence of reason", but from Frodo's POV.
You don't have to read that story to read this one, it will make sense on its
own just fine.
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Frodo trembled, reaching out and touching Sam's lips. A thumb, seemingly of
it's own accord, rubbed the lower lip gently. Sam gasped as tears ran down
his face; his lips had always been extraordinarily sensitive. At any other
moment this would bring pleasure to him.
The secret Sam had kept from Frodo was too much though, and he told Sam that
he would be going to the Havens by himself, that he was too wounded to be
around him any longer. The brown eyes begged Frodo for an alternative answer;
an answer that Frodo could not give.
"Master..." he sobbed, "Frodo, please don't do this. Don't do this to us! I
promise, it will never happen again--"
Frodo ached to pull Sam into his arms as his friends shoulders shook. But he
restrained himself sternly, moving his hand from Sam's lips to slap him
across the face.
"Do not accuse me for this." He said calmly, "I certainly didn't...Sam, but
how could you? With Rosie?"
Sam's cries increased in volume and he looked as though he were about to fall
to his knees.
"I understand you had feelings for her, but that didn't mean you had to act
on them! Did you not tell me the "wedding" was just a sham to please her
father? He wanted her wed by the time she was of age, and you agreed to step
in and help. But, damnit man it wasn't intent on being real! Did you once
think of *me* when you kissed her? Of *me* when you said out loud that you
loved her? Of *us* when you climbed into her bed??" Although he started out
softly, his anger built as he recalled his Sam's deception, until the words
struck at him like daggers.
"Please Frodo, don't leave me! I'm sorry my dear, oh my dear, dear Frodo
please forgive me, I'm so sorry! I...I...I wasn't thinking..."
At that the emotional young man broke and collapsed to the ground, shaking as
if the world were going to end. Frodo's heart finally softened, and he knelt
by Sam and took the tear-streaked face in his hands, raising the tender brown
eyes to meet his.
"It hurts," he stated bluntly, "You know I love you Sam..." Frodo stroked
down Sam's cheek, the other man nuzzling into the touch. His sobs had calmed
now to little hiccups.
"I know, I'm ever so sorry, I never wanted to hurt you. Ever." Sam took
Frodo's fingers and kissed them.
"Yes," Frodo said gently, allowing his fingers to be held, "But I am hurt in
a way I can not mend from, I am afraid."
He allowed himself one last, lingering caress on the face of the one he
loved, then pulled away. Sam's sharp cry cut though his heart, but it hurt
no more than the damage that was already made, that threatened to overwhelm
him.
"I've made my decision," he said firmly, "I'm passing over to the Havens.
Alone."
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