"Hey...you look cute today...and I don't mean that you normally look like shit."                                         --T.C.	"There have been so many fights and divorces because husbands couldn't find the washing machine..."                        --D.Z.
"soon..."                 --D.J.	"It had no cheese on it...what the hell was I supposed to do with it?"                    --R.B.
"I'm talking about a specific ho."                 --Y	"My ass would so be watching that game."                    --M.M.
"You're wrong. And I'm Ron."                   --R.H.	"I know Korean...'Al Gore!' "                     --N.P.
"I don't like that...appendage."                   --D.L.	"Damn those boobs of yours! They bumped into me and didn't even appologize!"                      --C.T.
"Dain's ass won't view."                  --S.L.	"This looks like my grandmother's room!"                       --Y.K.
"Yamaha...makers of fime pianos and motorcycles...which one is it? You decide."                  --J.T.	"Stupid white guy."                         --D.M.
"You are there to study, so why do you waste time talking to your old and lonely and miserable mother who devoted her life to you."                  --B.K.	"I missed ya."                --M.L.
"You're the reason why Mr. Miller spells my name Lilli."                   --L.K.	"KKKOOORRRRNNN!!!"                --R.H.
"I'm just a lay."                   --D.L.	"Yes, I'd love it in my armpit."                 --N.P.
"Listen, dear ho. I don't feel that it would be prudent to move the deadline to that week."                 --M.M.	"Ya lousy syrup-guzzlin, hockey-playin, toque-wearin, eh-sayin Canadian!"                  --C.B.
"No, I'm not mad, you Commie whore!"                   --D.R.	"That would be CCCOOORRRRRNNN."                 --R.H.
"I cuss like a pirate!"                     --me	"You'll be my musical pimp."                  --D.R.
"If liking flavored coffee makes me a girl, then give me a dress and call me trixie."                     --N.S.	"You're on a different kind of crack today."                  --M.M.
"Then why did [my sea monkeys] die, Nick? why???" "They died for you FOOOOOR YOOOOOOOUUUU!!!"	"So you're saying he isn't paying attention to you or whatever?"                   --D.L.
"Nick is an oi?!"                     --N.S.	"Don't worry, Hilli; a pimp will always be a pimp."                     --W.S.
"They're like moving targets."                     --G.J. (on boys)	"There are some real jerks out there."                      --D.M.Z.
"You shoot them whenever you can...?"                        --D.L. (after reading above quote)	"I'm scared.  It's like drinking the blood of a god"           - K.H.
"Hey baby.  I can burp the list of standard reduction potentials."                     --me	"Fire is a good thing, but i wouldn't want to sit on a couch made of it."           --K.H.
"that sucked my ass so hard it made my eyelids pucker"                   -- M.H.	"I promise not to think or say that you owe us anything for accepting this very expensive food."                      --B.K.
"I guess I will just have to freeze my panda ass off for a while."                      --M.L.	"He's cute, Hilli, you should so do him."                    --N.P.
"My little whore is finally talking "                        --D.L.	"I will not partake in the porno industry."                   --D.R.
"If you smelled like beef, guys would totally follow you around."                        --D.L.	"That's just so fucken neat about camp."                  --M.S.
"I can totally see you at a club Hilli. You'd be all wild and dancing."                           --J.K.	"oh yeah?  well, you have a tatoo on your ass that says....'Insert chicken HERE, stupid' because you're stupid."                  --M.L.
"For a relationship to work, you need to find a boy who has issues compatible with your issues."                           --R.B.	"Hey, shouldn't you change the protein for the day?? Tailless has been the protein of the day for the longest time."                --M.L.
" I want a girlfriend, but they're annoying."                           --N.G.	"Good luck, puzzle fighters."                --anonymous
"Dear Hilli, we don't care what the man says, you're good at the guitar!"                                --D.C.	"I'm not a "Hilli-level" Radiohead fan."                    --D.C.