We live in the age of lawsuits. Everyday on the news I hear about some kind of lawsuit happening. It�s not just suing for intentional property damage anymore. Now, people are suing for damages they brought upon themselves. Fucking Elmo goes on TV doing an ad successfully teaching children how to cross the street safely. Meanwhile some old broad crosses the street without even looking at the � don�t walk� signal or the oncoming traffic, gets hit by a Mercedes and sues the driver for negligence getting a seven figure settlement.
The funniest lawsuit I hear about often is a smoker who gets lung cancer suing the tobacco company. Correct me if I�m wrong, but don�t cigarettes have a warning on the side of the pack saying �Surgeon General�s Warning: smoking causes lung cancer, heart disease, and emphysema�? Now, unless that�s subliminal for �Don�t forget to call a lawyer when you start pissing out of your scrotum!�, I don�t see how an attorney can even consider taking the case. Some people say �Knowledge is power.�, but because of this I can honestly say �Bewilderment is wealth.�. Like always, I have an idea. Just because some of us like to think before our actions doesn�t mean we�re going to get dicked out of money. I say all of us that have gotten a cavity before should sue the candy company. Candy causes cavities and those corporate dildos don�t even have the common courtesy to put a warning on the label! Unlike the tobacco company, they are allowed to tempt us with their commercials, billboards, and bright colors, not to mention they stock the candy in the impulse section of the store bringing in the highest possible income off of us innocent consumers who just want something that tastes good. If people can sue the tobacco company for pain and suffering, we can sue the candy company for pain, suffering, and our dental bills. Consult your lawyer today! |
