| Ladies, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. All guys have multiple personalities. Let me ask you something: have you ever met a guy and thought he was "sweet and kind hearted," only to find out he was cruel and cold hearted? All the stories sound the same: "I met him, he was so sweet he called me all the time, he wrote me poems, we went out for like 2 weeks until I slept with him. 3 days later I saw him banging my best friend in the alley behind Bob Evan's". The reason he was "sweet and kind hearted" to begin with is because that man is what's known as pre-orgasm guy. Pre-orgasm guy only has one thought on his mind and that is: "find the hole". He will do or say anything to get you into his bed, back seat, or the alley behind Bob Evan's. Since pre-orgasm guy is so desultory in his decisions, the concept of pregnancy doesn't cross his mind. He'll forget all about wearing a condom if he thinks you might change your mind before he can get the wrapper open, leaving post-orgasm guy with nothing left to say except for " Sorry baby, I was going to withdraw, but my back cramped up and I couldn't move!" Another example of pre-orgasm guy being oblivious to his behavior is he will say or do the most craziest things while it's "going on'" Question: have you ever been banging your significant other and he intentionally makes funny noises, finishes too quickly, asks you to marry him, or asks you to call him Skipper? That's why when it's over, they guy tries to leave. Post orgasm guy is thinking,"Damn, did I really say that?" Post-orgasm guy is always going to take the blame for the shortcomings of pre-orgasm guy, and is powerless to stop him. The only thing I can think of that post-orgasm guy can do is get married right after the intercourse, so pre-orgasm guy doesn't want to fuck her anymore and is left with no choice but to buy hookers, and goes to a prison where conjugal visits are prohibited. Then pre-orgasm guy goes 6 months without his kind of sexual activity, giving post- orgasm guy a little vacation from his life of everlasting embarrassment. |
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