Katarzyna Węgrzyn

The changes in the contemporary family tend toward the increasing independence and autonomy of individuals, but at the same time toward loneliness, and reliance upon one’s own resources. Soon, due to changes in social life and family life, the realization of the caring function of the family may become greatly limited, and in many cases completely ineffective. There is a need to support the positive tendencies that still exist in the majority of Polish families, as well as to shape attitudes towards those in need – invalids, the hadicapped, the suffering and the dying – in order to prevent them from being pushed to the margins of life. The organization of medical and social assistance which can activate the family to fulfil its caring function, help it and support it, will be necessary in the near future. Such efforts must recognize that the family, due to its unique character, is irreplaceable in its duty of care towards its members.

If we have a child, who will take care of it in its early life? Who will take responsibility for a maturing teenager? Are there people who will accept us, give us a sense of safety and emotional support? Who will make us a cup of tea when we are sick? Who will take us to the doctor, buy us medicines, do shopping for us? Time passes very quickly, so the question arises who will help us in our everyday activities when we are old and physically unfit. Until fairly recent times the answers to these questions seemed easy. In most societies such needs were fulfilled by the family, whether extended or nuclear. Through the system of social control the family was obliged to take care of its members; the structure and the character of family ties were both conducive to the fulfillment of these socially important tasks. But are the answers to these questions still so obvious today? Is the caring function of the changing family still satisfactory both for individuals and society? The tendencies observed in contemporary forms of family life in highly developed countries point to increasing difficulties in realizing this function, which is considered by some to be incidental [1], yet, which remains socially important.

Over the last several centuries Polish social and political reality exerted a special influence on the family relations of Poles. It was to the family that they looked for support and shelter. The twentieth century did not bring many changes in this respect. In its last fifty years family values were among the most appreciated and important ones [17]. Besides satisfying emotional and affiliational needs and providing assistance in accomplishing plans and aspirations, the family was people’s main means of protection, of economic and material support. In Poland child care, caring for the aged and the chronically ill, were family responsibilities, obligations of the extended family, including both close and distant relatives [24].

But the economic, political, social and cultural transformations in Poland have exer-ted some influence on family life. The resemblance of Polish family models and patterns of life to the West European models is increasing; as a result threats and dangers similar to those observed in the highly developed Western societies are to be expected. Therefore so-me basic trends in those transformations which particularly endanger the caring function of the contemporary family should be mentioned.

The increasing individualization and autonomy of people, resulting from the changes begun by industrialization and urbanization in the nineteenth century, advanced swiftly in the second part of the twentieth century, as a consequence of the development of science and technology, as well as of socio-economic and cultural changes. Changes in the family lifestyles and increasing heterogeneity and relativity of ethical norms (promoted lar-gely by the mass media) contributed to this process. The desire to realize one’s individual goals started to dominate over the goals and well-being of the family unit. Individuals aspire to enjoy full autonomy, as complete as possible, in all spheres of life. Growing egalitarianism is accompanied by individual independence. Often each member of the family lives his/her own life; due to lack of common interests family contacts are limited to a necessary minimum [21]. Such situation produces new forms of family life, contributing to changes in the family structure and the quality of ties existing among its members; thus it affects the fulfillment of family functions, both towards individuals and in the broader society. Those changes also affect the family’s caring function, because the individual tendency to make sacrifices for the benefit of the group and/or an individual family member decreases.

The nuclear family, consisting of parents and usually not many children, has become the dominant form of family life. A loosening of ties with other family members and relatives, often caused by geographical distances and movement, limits the chances to offer help to relatives who are in need. In Poland, changes in this direction are occuring fairly slowly, yet their symptoms have become visible.

According to long tradition the Polish family is characterized by strong ties between generations, connecting grandparents and grandchildren as well as other kinsmen. The con-solidation within the family circle, even familiocentrism, in reaction to conflicts caused by transformation of the political system after World War II, was strengthened by the permanent economic crisis and lack of consumer goods [23]. Mutual assistance among extended family members was the only way to satisfy basic everyday needs and preserve a sense of safety. The so called extended modified family, consisting of independently functioning nuclear families living not far from one another, whose frequent contacts are highly emotional, is still the prevailing family model in Poland [1]. Generally Polish family members (parents, in-laws, adult children, siblings) live fairly close to one another, and make contact regularly, either in person or by telephone. Contacts with distant relatives are also quite common (CBOS[1] communique). Such families are strongly united by ties of mutual assistance and care. The assistance involves principally caring for those who are ill or physically unfit, and for small children. In many family circles almost all family members, especially grandmothers, are involved in taking care of young children. Such assistance is very much needed, especially when both parents work, and if they cannot, or do not want to take a leave.

However, this model of Polish family life, in spite of long tradition, may slowly be undergoing some changes, partly because of cultural influences from Western Europe, partly because of demographic tendencies and changes in the economy and in broadly understood social life. If the family does change, taking over its caring function and fulfilling it will become one of the greatest social challenges.

A decreasing birthrate and the aging of society may soon exert a further influence on the ineffectiveness of the family in realizing its caring function. At present the most important role in taking care of old people is played by the nearest family members and, if this is not possible, by more distant relatives. Seventy eight percent of children (CBOS communique) help their aging parents, as do forty seven percent of grandchildren. Sometimes the elderly share an appartment with other relatives. Old people are less commonly under the care of their spouses or neighbors. Every twentieth elderly Pole cannot count on anybody’s help (CBOS communique).

It seems, however, that these trends will change, largely because of demographic changes already visible in the country. Fertility for all age groups is decreasing; the values of coefficients of reproduction are falling and replacement of generations is not being ensured. Since 1998 natural increase has been decreasing (taking into consideration migrations); it reached -0,9 in 2000[2] [15]. Such trends will probably continue in the near future, which is indicated by data on the number of children Poles plan to have (CBOS communique). It is expected that the increase of the population will oscillate near zero, and by the year 2020 the number of deaths will exceed the number of births. At the same time average life span will increase, and in 2020 it will reach over eighty years for women, seventy three years for men. This signifies a proportionally greater number of people whose age will allow them to retire (GUS[3]). As a result, the society will be aging and the demographic structure in Poland will resemble the present situation in many West European countries; therefore we shall be facing problems similar to those they are coping with at present.

A newspaper article gives an interesting comment on the future of our families: soon the family photo of the great-grandmother surrounded by children, grandchildren and great grandchildren will be replaced by other photographs: one small child will be surrounded by two parents, four grandparents and eight great grandparents [16]. It may be asked whether families of such structure will be able to ensure assistance to their ill or physically unfit members. The fulfillment of the everyday needs of old relatives becomes impossible if two people, who work full time, have to take care of their own children, or a child, of about eight very old people, and four others who are rapidly aging. Such a situation, in spite of the best intentions of many middle aged couples, will exceed both their physical and psychological capacities, as well as their financial ability to hire help. Therefore it will become necessary to create a system which will support families in taking care of senior citizens in the best possible way [7].

Delayed marriages and delayed parenthood, besides being a factor in the decrease of the number of children, may also limit possibilities of ensuring children proper care until they become independent. In Poland, as in other well developed countries, people are getting married later in life; the number of marriages dissolved or ended by death of one of the spouses exceeds the number of contracted marriages [15]. Older parents often do not have enough energy to take proper care of the child; they either look for help to institutions or employ babysitters. Often mothers who have reached high positions in their professions by the time they have a baby do not want to give up their career for the sake of the child. Also, the grandparents often have reached an age at which they are not able to take full responsibility for a small grandchild, as they themselves need some assistance. It should also be remembered that due to cultural changes and processes of increasing individualization many people at retirement age, who still enjoy good health and feel fit, rather than taking care of their grandchildren prefer to pursue their own goals – some of which they could not realize when they worked due to lack of time.

Professional work for women, wives and mothers, is a common phenomenon. Looking at the division of roles in the traditional family one can easily see that in most cases women still perform the protective function. They have always provided care and assistance to their children and grandchildren, they have looked after the sick, or otherwise physically unfit members of the family, they have helped old parents, grandparents and parents-in-law. Since they took up jobs outside the home performing such tasks has become very difficult, and often impossible. Therefore, slowly and not without resistance, men have gradually started taking over some of the duties of their wives in these fields [3–5]. The changing role of the man, father of the family, requires greater emotional engagement in the process of bringing up children; this shift of attitude is one of the positive aspects of chan-ges in performance of the caring function in the family environment. Yet women still carry the greatest burden of the care for family members, in spite of the fact that those duties often exceed their capacities. In light of present demographic changes performing this role in a satisfactory way may become impossible. It seems that trying to escape those duties women will choose more individualistic orientation in life.

Divorce, as a common phenomenon in most civilized countries, no longer evokes any objections. Besides cutting ties between the spouses, it undoubtedly causes disfunction of the family, including protection and assistance to its members. In comparison to other European countries, in Poland the number of divorces is fairly low and it has not changed in the last decades, while social acceptance of divorce has increased [1,10,15]. This attitude may arouse in many spouses a sense of lack of support and safety. Divorce obviously is conducive neither to assistance to in-laws from the previous marriage nor to the „new” relatives in cases of multiple marriages. It happens sometimes that divorce becomes a method of escape from duties connected with caring functions towards one’s handicapped child, for example [6,20].

Single parenthood in Poland in most cases is the result of divorce. Single mothers, and less numerous single fathers, cope with everyday problems, including taking care of small children, sick or physically unfit members of the family, generally seeking in vain for social support. Out-of marriage births and single parenthood are becoming increasingly common. Single parenthood by choice is a fairly new phenomenon; middle-aged women decide to have a child, but they do not want to enter into any more permanent relationship with a partner. In families with only one parent, caring for relatives who require help is even more difficult; often it becomes necessary to ask friends, people from the neighborhood, or institutions for assistance.

The new forms of marital and family life that are developing on a large scale in contemporary European society compel reflection about their functionality for individuals and the whole society. Lifestyles other than traditional marriage are supposed to be conducive to the unlimited freedom of individuals and to aim at self-realization; therefore the unions are not biding, and their durability is based on subjective premises.

At the end of the twentieth century in Poland, too, the number of marriages decreased, while the estimated number of unmarried couples and other informal unions increased. Already at the beginning of the 1990s households of unmarried couples were estimated at about 2%, although in the estimates of some researchers it was half that [23]. This alternative form of family life does not appear to be durable, which may cause a sense of temporariness and insecurity. Also the problem of responsibility for child care, or providing assistance to members of the couples’ closer and more distant families, is not clear. The sa-me is true about securing one’s own situation in case of illness, disability, or infirmity. It seems that informal unions, uncontrolled by the society, in which the partners are tied only by subjective bonds, may not be able to meet the challenges of assistance and care for family members, especially if the problems are serious and long-lasting. Most often the connections with the families of the partners living together without marriage are loose, and neither party has much sense of responsibility.

A special type of family has recently appeared in western societies: so called „hybrid” marriage, in which the husband and wife (or partners) live separately and do not depend on each other, which means that they fully realize the principle of autonomy and pursuit of individual goals, an idea so widely accepted in our time. It seems doubtful whether such couples can effectively perform caring functions towards their children and to their respective partners.

There are also married couples who consciously give up the idea of having children, which can be perceived as a fairly new phenomenon. Generally they are motivated by the desire to realize one’s own goals, incompatible with having a child. Such an attitude, relieving them from the problems connected with child care, at the same time represents rejection of the possibility of getting emotional or other forms of assistance from children, whether in illness or in old age.

Changes in the family, especially those of structural and demographic character, ha-ve resulted in the increase of single-person households, a phenomenon observed in almost all highly developed countries [2,11,19]. The number of such households is growing. In Poland, according to the GUS data, in 1970 more households consisted of five people than any other number, while the number of single-person households was small. In 2000 the greatest number of households consisted of two persons; slightly lower was the number of those consisting of one and three persons, while the number of households consisting of five was very small. It is expected that by the year 2030 single-person households will constitute the majority (almost 6 million); next most common will be households consisting of two people, and the number of households consisting of five people will decrease by a factor of six (GUS). Such trends indicate that a large group of people will be deprived of some or all family support in case of illness, infirmity, or inability to care for themselves, and also in the emotional sphere. On the other hand, many people, including the elderly, desire independence as long as it includes the possibility of assistance from their families. Probably this way of helping elderly people living alone is the best model for the present. But is its realization always possible?

The cultural context in which the caring function of the family is carried out is of importance here. It seems that in contemporary society culture is not conducive to the exercise of this function. The previously mentioned tendencies and aspirations to autonomy on the part of individuals, which are also found in the family context, devaluate such concepts as dedication and sacrifice. The mass media transmit a cult of youthfulness, with the energy and vitality associated with it. Old age, suffering and illness seem to have no value; what is more, such conditions are being erased and pushed out of our consciousness. On the TV screen everybody is young, healthy and smiling; no one needs help or support in the realization of his/her goals and dreams. The same is true about death; it belongs to the hospital or funeral parlour. Contemporary people do not want to face it, think of it, or look at it. It is easier to accept it if specially prepared institutions take care of it. Dying has become dehumanized; the family has no access to it and most often does not want to have any. Can such an attitude make the performance of the caring functions of the family possible? It has to be remembered that this function includes assistance to sick, unfit, old and dying people.

The trends mentioned above tend toward an increasing independence and autonomy on the part of individuals, but at the same time to their isolation and often necessity to depend only on oneself. The realization of family caring function may become limited in the near future, due to transformations in social and family life. In many cases this function will cease to operate efficiently.

In order to ensure and provide proper assistance and care to all members of society, actions which can change the mentality and attitudes towards people in need – the handicapped, sick, suffering and dying – should be taken, so that no one is pushed to the margins of society, or locked in ghetto-type institutions. At the same time there is need to support and promote traditional positive tendencies still existing in many Polish families. Changes in attitudes towards parenthood seem necessary, so that having children is not perceived as a burden or surrender, but as the joy of giving and receiving. In the near future it will be necessary to take action in the field of medical care and social assistance, which will encourage families to perform their caring functions and actively support them, rather than provide substitutes. Those responsible for the organization of such assistance have to take into consideration the fact that the family, due to its unique character, by creating a unique emotional climate in the atmosphere of intimacy, acceptance, safety and a sense of belonging [13], is an irreplacable institution in providing help to its members.

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[21] Tyszka Z.: Rodzina w świecie współczesnym – jej znaczenie dla jednostki i społeczeństwa, [w:] Roczniki Socjologii Rodziny, Poznań 1994, t. VI (1995).– [22] W rodzinnym kręgu, [w:] file://E:\cobos\rodzina_pliki.– [23] Wierzchosławski S.: Rodzina w okresie transformacji demograficznej i społeczno-ekonomicznej, [w:] Rodzina w zmieniającym się społeczeństwie, pod red. P. Kryczka, Lublin 1997.– [24] Żurek A.: Orientowanie się na rodzinę a orientacja indywidualistyczna we współczesnym społeczeństwie polskim, [w:] Roczniki Socjologii Rodziny, Poznań 1996, t. VIII (1996).

[1] CBOS: Centrum Badania Opinii Społecznej (Center for Social Opinion Research)

[2] Rocznik Statystyczny Rzeczpospolitej Polskiej 2001 (Annual Polish Statistics 2001).

[3] GUS: Główny Urząd Statystyczny (Main Boureau of Statistics).