Aby cytować ten artykuł: G. Węgrzyn, Sexuality of the mentally handicapped in the social context, [in:] L. Niebrój, M. Kosińska (eds.), Rodzina: edukacja zdrowotna i rehabilitacja, Eukrasia vol. 3, ŚAM, Katowice 2003: 97-101

Grzegorz Węgrzyn SEXUALITY OF THE MENTALLY HANDICAPPED IN THE SOCIAL CONTEXT Abstract Contemporary societies, with all their distinctions, understanding, and tolerance of otherness, still  hold to many stereotypes, taboos and restrictions rooted in their mentality. In spite of evident  cultural evolution and many changes in attitude, some spheres are excluded from progress, or the changes are imperceptible over one generation. Attitudes toward  the  sexuality of the disabled, especially those who are mentally handicapped, may serve as a good example of such petrification of outlook. In spite of  awareness of their sexual needs and their attempts to satisfy  them,  there still exists a conviction that discussing this problem  is almost as improper as looking for socially accepted forms of fulfillment of those needs by the disabled. The range of problems  connected with human sexuality is conducive to attempts to help the mentally disabled to understand their bodies, and teach them respect for their own corporality and the corporality of others. Key words: disability, sexuality, mental handicap   Rights to marriage, procreation, and expressing one’s sexuality according to legally accepted norms are among the most  basic rights of each individual. This was confirmed by the Declaration of Human Rights (art.16) and is referred to in the Polish Constitution (art.47). According to legally accepted principles all rights enjoyed by humanity also apply to the disabled. Any limitation of human rights only on the grounds of handicaps is excluded. But in practice some of those rights are restricted by various social institutions, as well as by prejudices in the mentality of the society. Restrictions can be observed in the attitude towards the disabled, especially those mentally handicapped. Experience shows that the disabled, for example people who are mentally handicapped, meet with strong social ostracism in situations when they want to realize their sexuality, get married, etc. Is it proper to deny them those rights, possessed by each person, the more so that the degree of mental disability  varies? According to the classification accepted by WHO [1] there are four degrees of mental handicap, and within each group people’s intelligence differs significantly. In human life the sphere of love, marriage, procreation, and sexual activity is of great importance. For the mentally handicapped, as well for other disabled people, it is important not only as regards the fulfilment of their biological and psychological needs. Social sanctioning, either acceptance or lack of approval of those activities, signals in what degree the society considers individuals its regular members. The disabled, like all other people, want love, tenderness, close relationships, and satisfaction  in the sexual sphere; they  often think of establishing their own families. The majority of them are psychologically, socially and physiologically able to realize those needs. Yet major social controversies over this problem are caused by their activities in this sphere; this is largely because they are often perceived impersonally, which  results in  the denial to them the rights enjoyed by other people. Among the mentally handicapped there certainly are people who can have sex, get married, and even have children. Much depends on the degree of disability. The problem does not concern  those, whose psycho-sexual development was stopped at some point; they are not interested in sex [2]. But in some cases the situation is different, and  handicapped individuals’ behaviour is dominated by their sex urge. Without the control of reason  human behaviour is determined by reactions to impulses. Some researchers, trying to explain this phenomenon, have concluded that the mentally handicapped have a stronger sexual urge than other people [3] or that their behaviour may be a result of their attempts to restrain it. What prevents the disabled, including those who are mentally handicapped, from becoming loving partners, spouses, or  parents? In popular opinion there may be danger of inheriting the disability. But, in fact, the number of those hereditarily handicapped is very small. The same is true about the mentally disabled; their disability is generally a result of anoxemia, chemical intoxication, diseases of the mother during pregnancy, or illnesses contracted in the very early period of life. But even in cases when hereditary disability can be suspected, it remains a mere possibility which can only be verified by genetic or prenatal examinations. For a great majority of the disabled there are no genetic contraindications for parenthood,  and fears based on them are almost wholly groundless. The law treats the marriage rights of the disabled in a very responsible way. Equality of all citizens under the law and the ability to undertake legal procedures is of utmost importance here. It is only for  serious reasons that people, including the mentally disabled, may be partly or completely incapacitated by court. A fully incapacitated person is denied the right to undertake legal actions on his/her own and remains under the legal control of an appointed guardian, while a person partly incapacitated needs the permission of such guardian to take legal action (Family Code, art.181 and Civil Code, art. 17). Full legal incapacitation is the only obstacle that can prevent a person from getting married. People who are mentally  sick, or mentally  disabled, are legally qualified  for marriage, unless their  di-sease endangers  the union, or the health of  the children (Family  Code, art. 11 and 12). Di-sability also does not constitute grounds for divorce; it cannot be adjudicated in a situation conflicting with the principles of community life (Family Code, art. 56). This means that disability itself is not an obstacle to marriage; even if  it starts during the period of disintegration of the union its dissolution is impossible. At the same time the court may adjudicate obligation of paying alimony by the healthy spouse, as well as oblige him/her to fulfil some other duties concerning protection and care of the disabled one. The disabled likewise have the right to exercise parental authority, according to generally accepted rules. In this respect the law  is more advanced than social norms, as it was in case of children born out of wedlock. In  Poland the Catholic Church exerts a strong influence on social consciousness and habits; therefore of particular importance to the problems under discussion are solutions which are based on the social teachings of the Church. The Church does not admit some disabled people to the sacrament of marriage. This sanction applies especially to those mentally disabled who: –      are not able to function properly –      lack  the ability to evaluate existing law and marital duties –      for psychological reasons are not able to assume serious marital obligations (Code of Canon Law, can. 1095).  Each case  concerning  the desire of a disabled person to be married requires indivi-dual consideration.  But in practice there is a tendency to prevent such people from getting married.  It is argued that final verification of the level of  their awareness of marital obligations is not possible. There is apprehension that they may have trouble performing their marital roles, parental functions, in managing finances, and most of all in bringing up and socializing their children. According to the social teachings of the Church, parents are the first and the most important caregivers of their children and  they are responsible for raising them in the Catholic faith, the family being ”a small church”. The proper functioning of the family according to the norms  of the Catholic faith is believed to  fundamentally affect the shape of social life and the future of humanity. This policy often leads the clergy to evade and suppress the problem of sexuality of the mentally disabled, in so far as the Church condones the fulfilment of the sexual urge exclusively in marriage. Church norms concerning marriage and sexual life have their impact on social awareness. They are not directly internalized, yet they exert some influence on  prejudices and stereotypes about marriage and sexual life for the disabled. These prejudices are particularly strong towards the mentally handicapped. The general social attitude to disabled people is  much more liberal in that respect than the attitude  of the Church. If the disabled couples do not create any problems in the environment in which they live, the question of their being legally married or not is of no importance to their community, as one can learn from the voices of public opinion [9].   A completely different  attitude can be observed towards the mentally disabled who want to get married and satisfy their sexual needs. On one hand they arouse sympathy, compassion, and  the conviction that they should be helped in some way. On the other hand many people are afraid of them, because their behaviour seems strange, incomprehensible, and their reactions are unexpected. In the opinion of many people isolating them somewhere would provide the best solution. Research carried in 2002 showed that as many as 66% of the respondents were for at least partial isolation of such persons and expressed the view that they should live, learn, or work in specially adapted  institutions [4]. The fear that they might be dangerous  in direct contact with other people is not the most important factor here, although 26% of the respondents mention such possibility. It is the lack of proper behaviour in contact with the mentally disabled that provides the basic argument for their isolation. Simply speaking, most people do not know how to act in their company, especially if their behaviour is unusual.  It is because ”normal”, ”healthy” members of the socie-ty  avoid contact with the handicapped, especially the mentally handicapped, that they lack confidence in how to act and react in their presence. At the same time they avoid such contact, precisely because they do not know how to behave. So the circle of distrust, fear, and isolation closes. Therefore isolation seems to be the only solution which comes to mind for the majority of people who consider  the problem. The mentally handicapped are often held secluded by their immediate community including their own families, who ”hide” them at home and do not allow them contact with other people, or social welfare institutions. This results in a barrier between the healthy and the disabled, and, in consequence, causes fear and false convictions on both sides. Due to this general  unwillingness to initiate  contact with the mentally handicapped, many unjustfied stereotypes and prejudices exist in the social conscience. One such myth concerns the genetic inheritance of mental disability. This leads to their being denied the right to procreaction.  It is true that mental disability  may be a result of hereditary disease, but only  in a very small percent. If heredity were a principal factor, the number of the disabled would decrease each generation because the mentally handicapped seldom have children. Another important reason that the mentally disabled are denied the right  to parenthood is a widespread belief in  their complete or partial helplessness in everyday  functioning. This evokes fear that they would not  be able to fulfill the duties connected with parenthood and bringing up children. The conviction that they are operationally infirm is increased by overprotection and excessive care on the part of their families and friends. Most people are unable to  perceive the differences between the degrees of their incapacities  and their individual intellectual possibilities. The fact that there are specially equipped  appartments in which they may live either on their own or together with other disabled,  creating independent households, proves that some of them can satisfactorily function without much help [11]. Still, it is difficult to state univocally whether those disabled people who are able to live on their own and function in a social environment  are also able to perform the functions of spouses and parents. Undoubtedly even if they could, they would have to rely on the assistance of some state or social institutions. But it is equally difficult to evaluate whether a blind person, or one suffering from motor disability, although fairly independent,  is able to perform similar  functions is a satisfactory way, acceptable by the society. The same is true of all  disabled persons. It has to be stressed again  that each case is unique, so generalizations are out of place; at the same time  the right to establish a  fami-ly and have children should not be categorically denied  to the disabled. Although some disabled people cannot perform parental duties due to their psychological, physical, or intellectual  infirmities, they may  still be married and  realize  their se-xual needs within marriage; in contemporary families procreative and sexual functions are separate, not identical. It is not the question of following the example of the Netherlands, where the state participates in the cost of purchasing sexual services for the disabled, from the conviction that sexual activity constitutes an important aspect of their therapy; we only stress the need for changes of popular social attitudes toward the problem, especially as regards the mentally disabled, who are sensitive to social criticism and evaluation of their behaviour by other people. The reiteration  that sex is odious and repugnant to the mentally disabled,  with no attempt to make them understand their own sexuality, may aggravate their mental disorder, both intellectual and emotional, and result in socially unacceptable  behaviour. Changes in these social attitudes, an end to prejudice towards the disabled, acceptance of the fact they have the right to fulfill their needs for marriage, a sexual life and parenthood, are necessary. The chance for such changes to occur will come when the disabled are not isolated and  when their contact with other people, both healthy and disabled, is  facilitated; only then will acceptance, mutual understanding, friendship, and even love  be possible. An American TV series entitled Day by Day provided a very inspiring example of attempts to overcome existing stereotypes about the social functioning of the mentally disabled, especially in marriage.  Among the main characters there was a young man suffering from Down’s Syndrome. In a simple yet convincing way, the film presented the story of growing love between him and a girl also suffering from Down’s Syndrome. In spite of fears and hesitations the families and friends of the two disabled people finally accept   their union. Without simplifying the problem, the film showed the emotional potential of the disabled in marriage and performance of the roles of husband and wife. More such films and other attempts to overcome the stereotypes are needed, as they reach wide audiences and are more convincing than official reports and formal lectures. Some action should also  be taken to educate the disabled, particularly those who are  mentally handicapped, and  increase their knowledge on the subject of marriage, sexual life and parenthood. They should become better aware of their own bodies, their sexuality and the emotional needs connected with it; they should also internalize the moral norms connected with this sphere of life, patterns obligatory in society. Acknowledging the importance of this problem, people who enjoy good health should make an effort to assist the mentally disabled to understand their own body, to teach them respect for it and make them respect others. BIBLIOGRAPHY [1] Hulek A.: Świat ludzi niepełnosprawnych, Warszawa 1992.– [2] Imieliński K.: Erotyzm,  Warszawa 1970.– [3] Jaczewski A.: Problemy seksualne upośledzonych umysłowo, [w:] O integrację społeczną  młodocianych i dorosłych  upośledzonych  umysłowo, Wald, wyd. 1, Warszawa 1978.– [4] Karkoszka K.: Stosunek mieszkańców Imielina do problemu prokreacji osób upośledzonych umysłowo, Mss. Katowice 2002.– [5] Kodeks Cywilny (Civil Code).– [6] Kodeks Prawa Kanonicznego (Code of Canon Law).– [7] Kodeks Rodzinny i Opiekuńczy (Family Code).– [8] Konstytucja Rzeczpospolitej Polskiej (Polish Constitution).– [9] Mariański J.: Kryzys moralny czy transformacja wartości, Lublin 2001.– [10] Powszechna Deklaracja Praw Człowieka (Declaration of Human Rights).– [11] Węgrzyn G.: Przeobrażenia organizacji pozarządowych działających na rzecz osób niepełnosprawnych na przykładzie okręgu katowickiego, Annales Academiae Medicae Silensiensis 2002, supl. 34: Opieka zdrowotna wobec procesu transformacji społecznej, Katowice.