Absence � By Kirika
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Chapter 19 � Only A Girl
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Laodameia laughed uproariously on her cushion throne, her eyes beginning to tear. Her plan had gone so well and this was just the first part. While the laughing woman mourned the loss of her pet, there would be all the other Sailor Senshi to choose from. The senshi who survived, anyway. Besides, there was another pretty blonde in the group if Laodameia was not mistaken.
The demon laughed a little harder, feeling through the mind of the broken senshi. The torment being experienced by the human was exquisite. It had been a simple task to twist the girl�s intentions, her dedication, to just give her a little mental �push�. The pink-haired woman�s first attempt to make the girl murder that useless man had failed, much to her surprise. Laodameia had stoked the black fires of hate inside the human to a level no mortal should have been able to resist. But the demon had underestimated the depth of the devotion the girl felt for that other human. The one with the strange hairstyle. The raven-haired girl�s inner fire of love had smothered her hateful suggestions somehow, the red flames consuming the black, erasing them from her heart and mind. At another time, Laodameia would have been curious about this emotion, love. She had always believed love was no match for hate. Certainly, where she had come from there was no such thing as love between two creatures.
Laodameia�s laughter ebbed as she gazed down from her perch at her youma assistant, Aiaia. The youma quickly looked away from her mistress, blushing, embarrassed to have been caught staring. The pink clad woman knew how the youma felt about her, she could read minds after all, but ignored the brunette�s feelings and merely took advantage of them. Aiaia was the only youma that Laodameia didn�t need to mentally dominate into fanatically worshiping her. Perhaps there was something more to be said about the emotion called love. The demon would have to explore it further after the Sailor Senshi were dealt with.
Laodameia�s laughter began to increase again as she thought about what she was going to do now with another senshi�s mind.
Human minds are so easily manipulated
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Sailor Mars broke Sailor Moon�s accusing gaze and lowered her head, her raven locks hiding her eyes, tears still trickling down her face and collecting at the bottom of her chin. All she had wanted to do was protect her princess, the only way that the fire senshi could express her love, and what had happened? It was protecting her that caused Mars to lose her only love completely. How ironic. The miko looked at her trembling hands, the hands that had taken a human life. Her friend�s life. She felt hysterical laughter bubble up inside her. It was like the whole universe was playing a huge cosmic joke on Mars, her entire existence a thing for the gods, or whatever higher power, to amuse themselves with. God, she was only human, just a girl. How could anyone take what she had been through? Even a Sailor Senshi had her limits. Did the gods really hate her that much? Sailor Mars raised her arms and wrapped them tightly around her self, as if to keep the laugher and despair in.
Mars was aware of Sailor Mercury trying to breath life back in Sailor Venus� lungs, then pressing down on her chest rhythmically, attempting to restart her dead heart. Sailor Mars just knew that her friend was dead. The fire senshi had probably broken her neck. Even if Mercury did revive her, she would probably have spinal injuries and be paralysed from the neck down for life. Mars could hold in the laughter no more, and she laughed hysterically, giggling like a mad woman. It was so funny if you thought about it. Here Sailor Mars was, dedicated bodyguard to her princess and love of her life, and she had murdered the blonde odango atama�s friend in her name, right in front of her eyes. The broken senshi laughed and laughed, the sound mixing with the laugher coming from the other side of the double doors.
Sailor Jupiter swivelled her head away from watching her lover try to save Venus and looked at Mars. �What the hell? You think this is funny?!� she screamed, grabbing the front of the murderer�s fuku in two fists, shaking her wildly. �You�ve killed Minako! What�s the matter with you?! Why did you attack her? She is our friend, YOU PSYCHOPATH!!� She yelled in Mars� face, as she shook the fire senshi back and forth, causing her head to roll about like a rag dolls.
Sailor Mars continued to laugh, her tears streaming down her face. Didn�t Jupiter see how funny this all was? Wasn�t she enjoying the eternal joke that was her life?
�You should�ve never come back!!� Jupiter continued to scream, spittle landing on Mars� face.
Sailor Mars giggled. Jupiter was right; she should have never came back. But it was fate, wasn�t it? Fate, destiny, had called her back to her princesses� side. The gods weren�t happy with her suffering back in Yokohama. No, Rei Hino could suffer more. This was far more amusing.
Mars felt something hard hit her in the side of the face, smashing her to the ground. She looked up from the floor through her raven bangs at Jupiter standing over her, the brunette�s fists clenched together tightly.
�You murderer,� the tall senshi said coldly, �you�re not a Sailor Senshi.�
Sailor Mars� insane giggling ceased, her face crumbling out of its maniacal rictus. �Don�t Sailor Senshi feel pain? Don�t Sailor Senshi have a right to dream? Don�t I? Or am I only a girl in a silly costume�?� she said through her tears.
Sailor Jupiter continued to look down at Mars. She didn�t understand. Everything had worked out for her. Makoto had Ami. She had her dream. Sailor Mars heard her own dream still crying to the right of her. Mars� dream would forever remain that: a dream. The broken girl sat up, huddling herself into a ball, wrapping her arms around her legs. She stretched the burns on her back but was only distantly aware of the pain. Her hands still shook nervously as her tears dropped onto her knees.
�I�m only a girl�� she whispered over and over.
Sailor Jupiter looked down at the shuddering girl in disgust. She brought up her fist to deliver another blow. Sailor Uranus suddenly grabbed the brunette�s raised arm in an iron grip.
�This isn�t the way,� she said emphatically, glancing at Sailor Mars� broken form.
Sailor Jupiter looked back at Uranus incredulously. �Like hell it isn�t! That murdering scum!� she cried, pointing furiously at Mars with her free hand.
Sailor Mars blocked out the argument and just sat, sobbing and mumbling. There was no fight left in her. She couldn�t go on anymore. The raven- haired girl was aware of the call inside her, wavering in intensity drastically.
Mars heard coughing to her right and Sailor Moon gasping. The fire senshi moved her head slightly, daring to look. Sailor Venus was on her side, coughing repeatedly while her eyes watered profusely. Minako was alive. The information registered in Sailor Mars� mind, and she felt the relief, but it was still as if she was looking from outside her body, that it didn�t really matter if her friend was alive or not. The broken senshi looked at Venus� back, numbly taking in the charred flesh and burnt fuku. She closed her eyes tightly, squeezing out more tears as Sailor Moon turned her way.
�It must have been Laodameia,� Mars heard Tuxedo Kamen remark, �she must have done something� she has psychic powers�� He talked rather haltingly, no doubt not believing what had happened.
Sailor Mars still heard Jupiter struggle and curse. Sailor Uranus must have been holding her back from delivering her own kind of justice to Mars.
�Everyone should focus on something, something important,� continued Tuxedo Kamen, �it helps to block out the whispers� the suggestions� you may think you�re thinking certain things, but it�s not your own thoughts��
Jupiter stopped struggling against Uranus and was quiet. Sailor Mars opened her eyes a crack and looked up at the senshi. The brunette was staring at Mercury and appeared to be concentrating. She relaxed in Sailor Uranus� hold and opened her fists, letting the anger leave her body.
�You�re right� there�s something� like voices in the back of your mind,� Jupiter said.
�She needs a hospital,� interrupted Sailor Mercury, having just finished restraining the still brainwashed Venus� hands with a torn strip of cloth from a curtain. �Her burns��
Sailor Mars closed her eyes tightly again, trying to block out all sensation. She wished for oblivion.
�I�ll take her,� suggested Jupiter, �I can carry her.�
There was a shuffling sound and then a whimper from Venus, followed by slightly lumbering steps, which stopped abruptly. Mars heard Mercury and Jupiter whisper something to each other, and then the steps continued. Then there was silence. Even the laughter through the other double doors had ceased. The fire senshi was sure everyone was looking at her. She huddled into an even tighter ball.
�Rei�� Mercury whispered close to her ears, �it wasn�t your fault� you saw how Makoto acted, you weren�t your self��
Oh how wrong she was. Sailor Mars had been her self all right. Now Mars knew what she was really like; she had tasted the darkness inside her self. Did she really think she was worthy of her princesses� love? God, how stupid she had been. She was nowhere near worthy. Not even worthy to protect Sailor Moon. Mars wouldn�t be surprised if she ended up killing her princess somehow. Her princess. No, Usagi was never hers. Usagi was -the- princess. Sailor Mars had no right to think of the girl as her own. The fire senshi came out of her thoughts and realized Sailor Mercury was still talking.
��Please Rei, please snap out of this��
�I should have never come back here�� Mars whispered.
�That�s not true,� said Tuxedo Kamen, �you�re a senshi and our friend. If you hadn�t been here, who would have saved Sailor Moon?�
Sailor Mars felt more tears come out her eyes. �You would have� God, you�re so much better than me�� she sobbed.
�Please Rei� the princess still needs you, don�t you Usagi?� said Mercury.
Sailor Mars could just imagine her, no; -the- princess nodding repeatedly, thinking Mars could see it. The princess was always cute that way.
�I do�� said Sailor Moon after a moment, her voice shaky.
Sailor Mars smiled sadly. She could hear the lie. It was over. Mars would tell the others about the �moment� Setsuna had warned her about and they could protect the princess. She wiped her red bloodshot eyes and stood up, Sailor Mercury holding onto her arm, supporting her. It reminded Mars of how Usagi used to hold her arm. But that was over now. There was a fight coming up, one last battle. She just had to do it one final time. Sailor Mars hoped that there was no afterlife; that after death there was only oblivion. That was her version of heaven; she wanted to forget. Hell was here and now.
�Look after her,� Mars whispered to Mercury so only she could hear, �they�ll be a time soon when her life is in danger� promise me you�ll look after her.�
�You can do it yourself,� Mercury whispered back, looking at Mars compassionately and then glancing at something behind the fire senshi.
�Just promise,� Sailor Mars said, her bloodshot eyes boring into Mercury�s blue ones.
Sailor Mercury stared into Mars� lavender eyes, tears beginning to form. �I promise��
Sailor Mars smiled, the smile never reaching her eyes. She nodded to Mercury.
�Please Rei�� Mercury started.
�Come on. Laodameia�s through here, right? Let�s go get her,� Mars said, ignoring Mercury.
Tuxedo Kamen and Sailor Uranus looked at her strangely, aware that something was wrong. Sailor Mercury seemed like she was going to start crying. Mars didn�t look at Sailor Moon.
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The team of five marched through the double doors to Laodameia�s suite. The youma leader was waiting for them on a large cushion pile, human attendants sitting nearby her holding trays with wine and various foods. There were youma all around the luxurious room, all in their true forms. There had to be at least fifteen, if not more, all various shapes and sizes. It would be a glorious end.
They probably all pulled back to this room Mars thought idly.
�I�m back for you, you bitch!� yelled Tuxedo Kamen at the woman sitting on top of the cushion pile.
Laodameia was very beautiful, Mars noted absently. She definitely had a fetish for pink as well. Of course, Laodameia could never compare to Usagi. Sailor Moon was always the most gorgeous creature to ever exist in Sailor Mars� mind.
Laodameia ignored Tuxedo Kamen�s outburst and turned her head to Sailor Mars. �It was a shame what happened to your friend, so tragic�� she said mockingly, �but don�t worry, when you are mine I�ll let you forget� I can make all your memories go away�� The demon�s mouth curved upwards seductively.
�Sailor Venus is still alive! Just like Neptune is�� Sailor Uranus growled, glaring pure hate at the pink-haired woman.
Sailor Mars ignored Uranus. She heard whispers in her mind, telling her to give in, to let the pain end. Mars knew it was Laodameia in her head. But her power was useless on Mars. The fire senshi had something to focus on, and had her own way of making memories disappear.
Laodameia chuckled. �Too bad� I suppose after I deal with all of you, I should go checking nearby hospitals�� she grinned evilly.
�DIE!� screamed Tuxedo Kamen, throwing a rose with lightning speed.
One of Laodameia�s human attendants threw his body in front of the projectile, the rose piercing his shoulder. Tuxedo Kamen gasped in horror, his arm still outstretched in a throwing motion. The attendant hit the floor hard, blood drops staining the carpet. The man rolled on his back, looking up at Laodameia with glassy eyes to see if he had gained her favour. The demon ignored him.
�And here I thought she was the one with homicidal tendencies,� purred the demon, gesturing towards Sailor Mars.
Sailor Uranus� temper boiled over, vengeance for Michiru no doubt on her mind. �Kill them all!�
�Protect the Lady!� one female-looking youma ordered.
�Mercury, do you�re best to defend the human prisoners from harm, freeze them if you have too,� said Tuxedo Kamen as he drew his cane.
Sailor Mercury hesitated for a split second, glancing at Mars, but then recovered. �Right! SHABON SPRAY!�
Sailor Mars saw the youma slow their advance as a pale mist filled the room, taking down visibility to near zero. She heard the other senshi and Tuxedo Kamen shout out war cries and attack phrases, and also the screams and howls of youma. Mars ignored her companions. Her mission was to kill as many things as possible before she went down� one last act for the princess.
Sailor Mars ducked as a scythe made out of bone cut through the mist in front of her, trying to decapitate her. She rolled backwards and onto her feet as a large skeleton thing twice her size appeared. It was like an oversized human skeleton, the bones the colour of decay, except that it was hunched over, its� forearms longer than usual and with its hands replaced by scythes. A red unholy light glowed from the skull�s empty eye sockets. It reminded her of the type of close combat youma Khairephon used to have working for him back in Yokohama.
Mars jumped backwards, sucking in her stomach as a scythe slashed by, nearly disembowelling her.
�FIRE SOUL!�
A fireball burst from Mars� fingers and collided with the youma�s skull, charring the bone black but otherwise doing absolutely nothing. She rolled to the right as the youma�s other scythe-hand stabbed downwards where she had stood, punching a hole through the carpeted floor. Sailor Mars rolled forwards towards the youma and ended up in a crouch, smoothly following the move by lashing out with her fist into the youma�s ribcage. There was a crack as her fist made contact, creating a hairline fracture on a lower rib. The youma reacted by kneeing Mars in the face, knocking her onto her back. She rolled out of the way as a scythe ripped open the carpet where she had lain.
How pathetic you are. The first youma you fight and this will be the one that kills you. You can hardly even scratch it. You are a failure. You can�t even sell your own life dearly
Sailor Mars climbed to her feet as the youma raised both its scythes above its head, ready to give the girl a double impalement. She simply stood there, looking up at the reaper. It wasn�t how she wanted to go out; she would have rather died with hundreds of fallen enemies littering the battlefield around her, fighting against impossible odds. Or better yet, taking a mortal blow for the princess, giving her life so that the one she loved could live on in her stead. But instead it was like this, an ignoble death after nearly murdering one of her friends, the princess fearing and despising her. At least she would face death on her feet. A single tear fell from one eye as the scythes came down. Mars didn�t look away.
Suddenly something rammed into her from the right, pushing her out of the way of the reaper�s strike, the twin blades tearing through the floor causing carpet fibres to fly into the air. Sailor Mars sat up on her elbows and looked with blurry tear filled eyes at her saviour as they got to their feet, facing the youma. The figure raised one arm above their head, holding an object high, the mist that swirled about them mixing with the light from the ceiling chandeliers, making the figure seem like a guardian angel. Sailor Mars had never seen anything so majestic in all her life.
�MOON SPIRAL HEART ATTACK!�
The youma roared as it crashed through a huge red heart, its bones disintegrating into dust, the particles coming to rest on the floor. Sailor Moon turned to face Mars, and knelt down quickly in front of her, putting down the spiral heart moon rod as she did so. The princess roughly grabbed the broken senshi�s shoulders with both hands. Sailor Mars could see tears running down her face.
�What are you doing?!� she sobbed, �I can�t lose you again, not after I just got you back! I can�t Rei, I can�t!! Not again!!�
Sailor Mars looked into Sailor Moon�s eyes, the eyes that had looked at her as if she was a monster only minutes before. There was fear still there, but not fear of Mars. It was fear of what had nearly happened, fear of losing her best friend one final time.
�I can�t�� Mars whispered, more tears coming to her eyes, �I can�t go on anymore� I�m sorry I failed you. I tried so hard to be a good bodyguard for you, but��
�Oh, Rei� it�s all right, it wasn�t your fault about Minako,�
�No, it�s not just that� I can�t go on in this life anymore, it just hurts too much� I know I�m letting you down, and I�m sorry� I�m not as strong as I thought I was� to spend an eternity like this, I can�t do it��
�Rei, don�t say that! What�s wrong? You can tell me anything,� Sailor Moon said desperately.
Sailor Mars gave a strained smile, tears still rolling down her cheeks. �No� not everything��
Mars stared into Sailor Moon�s eyes like she had done many times before in her life. It was strange that you could feel such love for another person, so much so that it�s like your feelings would consume you and everyone around you� but the person you love doesn�t even notice.
Sailor Moon gazed back with her blue eyes. �Even heroes have a right to bleed, Rei. Even Sailor Senshi can dream. I know I do,� Sailor Moon whispered, answering Mars� earlier questions.
Sailor Mars couldn�t tear away her eyes from Sailor Moon. She continued to stare, her heart beating faster and faster in her ears, drowning out the sounds of battle around the fog filled room. It was like Sailor Mars and Sailor Moon were the only two people in a mist-covered world. Mars couldn�t even make out the floor anymore.
�You don�t have to protect me all the time. You don�t have to get promises from other people to do it, either. Let me protect you for once�� continued the princess, shocking Mars with words that the blonde girl shouldn�t have heard, �You were right what you said before; you are only a girl. But so am I� and besides, you�re not -just- a girl, you�re a girl I� you�re a girl I�� She couldn�t seem to get the words out.
Sailor Mars stared deeply into Sailor Moon�s red crying eyes, the blonde odango atama�s hands still on both her shoulders. The calling inside her had made itself known again, becoming more apparent than ever. It was like time was slowing, as if everything in the world was stopping to watch, every higher power in the universe looking on with baited breath.
Sailor Mars leaned forward and closed her eyes, taking a last chance to save her soul. The fire senshi�s lips met the princesses�, and after a moment�s hesitation they parted, granting Mars access to redemption as the tears on their cheeks mixed. The blonde angel�s kiss seemed to breath new life into Sailor Mars� tortured heart. Mars kissed -her- princess with all the passion that had built up in her heart for so very long, tasting her only love for the first time. The blonde wrapped her arms around her neck, while Mars wrapped her own around her princesses� waist. They explored each other�s mouths as Mars� heart slowly healed, the undying red flame of love for her princess flaring up and sealing the wounds. Sailor Mars pulled Sailor Moon on to her lap, the blonde�s legs spread on either side of hers. She held her only love tightly, revelling in the warmth of her body and her heart beating close to her own. Finally, after what seemed like a never ending moment, time restarted and their lips parted. Both senshi opened their wet eyes and gazed into the others, blue meeting lavender.
�Don�t die,� whispered Sailor Moon, arms still around Mars� neck.
�I promise,� replied Sailor Mars, just as quietly.
At that moment the sounds of battle made themselves known again, reminding the two Sailor Senshi where they were. Sailor Mars slipped her hands under Sailor Moon and stood up, lifting her princess with her, the blonde grabbing her moon rod as she rose. Sailor Mars held her in the air for a second, Sailor Moon with her arms and legs locked around the raven-haired girl�s body, just before the blonde set her feet down on the floor.
Sailor Mars grinned broadly, the wide smile nearly splitting her face. Her princess mirrored her smile, although it was somewhat more subdued. No more words were said. There would be plenty of time later for talk. The two Sailors left each other�s embrace, and turned as a youma approached out of the fog. They spared a glance at each other and then ran to meet the creature.
Sailor Mars and Sailor Moon fought side by side, watching each other�s back, bringing righteous destruction to all the youma that confronted them. Sailor Mars fought like she did before on that moonlit night back in Yokohama, when she was surrounded by youma and facing certain death. Sailor Mars would fight until her last breath was gone, until her body was dust, until time itself ends. She fought for the Moon, and she fought to live; to not die and keep her promise. Rei Hino, Sailor Mars, the princesses� bodyguard fought because she loved her; Usagi Tsukino, Sailor Moon, her princess. And death couldn�t touch either of them.
Part twenty |
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