Oh. My. God. What the hell was she doing here? And what was with her eyes? Was she possessed or something? Unconsciously I shoved Vegita behind me as I placed myself in the path of her wrath. Heh heh, I rhymed!
“Well, Chichi, it would appear to me that I was kissing my husband.”
“Your husband? Did you fall and hit your head again? A good whack with my frying pan oughta bring you around!” She advanced towards me threateningly, her pan raised.
I backed away as she drew closer gulping audibly. “Look now, Chichi! You’ve never been there for me my entire life and just a few days ago you kicked me out of my own house after I risked my life to save the world! Now I don’t know about you, but in a court that doesn’t constitute normal marital behavior!”
That got her. She just stood there staring stupidly at me slack jawed as I went on with the legal jargon. Heh, didn’t think I knew any of this did you? I snickered mentally.
“So now I suppose I should let you know that I’m filing for a divorce in person rather than through the mail like I was going to.”
“What?” She screeched at me. “You will do no such thing! Hell, you probably don’t even know what a divorce is seeing as you thought marriage was food!”
I narrowed my eyes. “Just because I’m naive doesn’t mean I’m a complete idiot! And you have no right to order me around!”
“So then you’re just going to leave Gohan then? What do you think he’ll turn into without his father? Kami! What if he turns out to be a young hoodlum in a gang like you?”
Ok bitch, that was the last straw. Off to the looney farm with ya, they certainly won’t let you live in public. Yeah, cuz you’re a public hazard! To quote the lovable vampire from a certain TV show, ‘Yer a loopy bint’! Grr!
“You know, Chichi, you’re insane.” I grinned despite myself… which probably looked a little nasty since I was still scowling. Go me. Vegita was in shock; I have no idea why. Maybe because said escapee from the asylum interrupted our make-out session. Well this was fun.
“Gokuh… we can get you help! I don’t know what that nasty man has done to you, but I can help!”
Eh? Blink, blink. Did she just pull a Relena? I looked slowly over to Vegita, right eyebrow raised. He took one look at my face and burst out laughing, actually doubling over and clutching at his stomach. Maybe I could get my own sitcom… or at least a place on Jerry Springer.
“Look, Chichi, I really don’t have the time for this. I’m filing for a divorce and that’s final. And before we leave there was just one thing I wanted to ask you.”
“Yes, Gokuh my love?” She batted her eyes at me. Her eyes. I am now mentally scarred for life.
“Did you forget to take your medication today? Or did you just snap?”
A howl of rage burst from her lips as she jumped at me, talons spread. Wait a minute… Talons?
I kept myself in front of Vegita as I grabbed her arms and twisted them behind her back. With a strength she never could have gained naturally, she tore free of my grip and launched herself at me again.
“You arrogant prick! How dare you cheat on me! I’m you’re wife! You love me!”
I slugged her, sending her through a wall. “Sorry to break the news, but I never loved you. Oh well, maybe like a sister, but that is so over!”
She came at me again, growling. “Stop it! I don’t want to hurt you! Oh wait… I do. Never mind.”
I blinked. Something was seriously off with her. After keeping her hands busy for a few minutes I saw and opening and hit her on the back of her neck, knocking her unconscious.
“Vegita! Are you okay?” I turned back to my mate.
He blinked up at me through his tears of laughter. “Okay? The look on your face…” He dissolved into another fit of giggles. Huh? Was it just me or was everyone going wacky today?
Wasting no time, I tied up the demon-bitch and raced to get the rest of the gang.