Oh. My. God. What the hell was she doing here? And what was with her eyes? Was she possessed or something? Unconsciously I shoved Vegita behind me as I placed myself in the path of her wrath. Heh heh, I rhymed!
�Well, Chichi, it would appear to me that I was kissing my husband.�
�Your husband? Did you fall and hit your head again? A good whack with my frying pan oughta bring you around!� She advanced towards me threateningly, her pan raised.
I backed away as she drew closer gulping audibly. �Look now, Chichi! You�ve never been there for me my entire life and just a few days ago you kicked me out of my own house after I risked my life to save the world! Now I don�t know about you, but in a court that doesn�t constitute normal marital behavior!�
That got her. She just stood there staring stupidly at me slack jawed as I went on with the legal jargon. Heh, didn�t think I knew any of this did you? I snickered mentally.
�So now I suppose I should let you know that I�m filing for a divorce in person rather than through the mail like I was going to.�
�What?� She screeched at me. �You will do no such thing! Hell, you probably don�t even know what a divorce is seeing as you thought marriage was food!�
I narrowed my eyes. �Just because I�m naive doesn�t mean I�m a complete idiot! And you have no right to order me around!�
�So then you�re just going to leave Gohan then? What do you think he�ll turn into without his father? Kami! What if he turns out to be a young hoodlum in a gang like you?�
Ok bitch, that was the last straw. Off to the looney farm with ya, they certainly won�t let you live in public. Yeah, cuz you�re a public hazard! To quote the lovable vampire from a certain TV show, �Yer a loopy bint�! Grr!
�You know, Chichi, you�re insane.� I grinned despite myself� which probably looked a little nasty since I was still scowling. Go me. Vegita was in shock; I have no idea why. Maybe because said escapee from the asylum interrupted our make-out session. Well this was fun.
�Gokuh� we can get you help! I don�t know what that nasty man has done to you, but I can help!�
Eh? Blink, blink. Did she just pull a Relena? I looked slowly over to Vegita, right eyebrow raised. He took one look at my face and burst out laughing, actually doubling over and clutching at his stomach. Maybe I could get my own sitcom� or at least a place on Jerry Springer.
�Look, Chichi, I really don�t have the time for this. I�m filing for a divorce and that�s final. And before we leave there was just one thing I wanted to ask you.�
�Yes, Gokuh my love?� She batted her eyes at me. Her eyes. I am now mentally scarred for life.
�Did you forget to take your medication today? Or did you just snap?�
A howl of rage burst from her lips as she jumped at me, talons spread. Wait a minute� Talons?
I kept myself in front of Vegita as I grabbed her arms and twisted them behind her back. With a strength she never could have gained naturally, she tore free of my grip and launched herself at me again.
�You arrogant prick! How dare you cheat on me! I�m you�re wife! You love me!�
I slugged her, sending her through a wall. �Sorry to break the news, but I never loved you. Oh well, maybe like a sister, but that is so over!�
She came at me again, growling. �Stop it! I don�t want to hurt you! Oh wait� I do. Never mind.�
I blinked. Something was seriously off with her. After keeping her hands busy for a few minutes I saw and opening and hit her on the back of her neck, knocking her unconscious.
�Vegita! Are you okay?� I turned back to my mate.
He blinked up at me through his tears of laughter. �Okay? The look on your face�� He dissolved into another fit of giggles. Huh? Was it just me or was everyone going wacky today?
Wasting no time, I tied up the demon-bitch and raced to get the rest of the gang.