Warnings: incest, invisible plot
Disclaimer: Neither DBZ nor itsí characters belong to me.
A big Thank You goes to Zan because if I didnít have her wonderful help this wouldnít be up here right now.
Goku wasnít always there for his family. He wanted to be though. He tried to be. It was trying to always do the best for his family that was the reason he couldnít be there for them. Sometimes, making the right decision was hard.
Goku knew he had made the right decision when he chose to remain dead. He knew it with complete certainty. But it was also one of the most difficult things he had ever done. As a result of that decision he missed seeing Gohan grow up. He also missed the birth of his second son, Goten, and the first seven years of his life. And while Goku knew he had made the right choice, it stirred up many what-ifs and regrets.
Goku didnít dwell on it though. That wasnít his way. He had done the best he could and would continue to do so. To dwell on past events helped no one. Then he had been given twenty-four hours to fight in the tournament on earth. He would see his family, be with his family, again.
Things donít always work out how you want them to. Eventually, however, Goku did end up back on earth, alive, for a more extended, undetermined, period of time. But things change, and Goku all too soon found himself without a wife. He missed her. He mourned. He moved on. Goku always had dealt well with loss. What he had trouble dealing with was other people when they were emotionally distraught. And so, when Gohan lost Videl, Goku was almost at a complete loss as to what he should do to help. Goku had Gohan move in with him right after Videl died. That way Gohan wouldnít have to be alone.
After Gohanís initial grief had passed, Goku tried drawing him out of his self-imposed shell with sparring exercises. At first Gohanís attempts were half-hearted at best. However, as time passed he threw himself into the training.
Father and son grew closer, and Goku was pleased with Gohanís progress. Goku, being physical by nature, had hoped the sparring would be what Gohan had needed to get past his grief. It seemed it had done the trick until one night when Goku woke up at one a.m. He was usually a sound sleeper but that night something woke him up. He lay there, and when he couldnít hear anything he got out of bed, deciding to give his stomach an impromptu snack.
All thoughts of food were forgotten, however, when he heard low sobs coming through Gohanís bedroom door. Deciding he didnít need to knock, this was his house after all, Goku silently turned the knob and pushed the door open. The sight of his son curled around a pillow, holding it tightly to his chest, and his body shaking with the force of his tears, had Goku by his sonís side in a heartbeat. Kneeling carefully on the bed, Goku gently gathered the prone form to his chest, stretching out on the bed beside his son. Gohan just clutched at his father, clinging tightly and drawing the larger man closer, and cried harder.
Feeling a bit awkward after his initial concern wore off, Goku settled for gently stroking Gohanís back as his son cried against him. His fingers moved lightly through Gohanís silky hair, and then trailed down his spine. The repeated motion was soothing to them both. When Gohanís sobs had subsided, Goku lowered his head slightly, hoping his words would be helpful. Lips barely brushing Gohanís ear, Goku whispered, ďIt will be okay eventually. This pain wonít last forever.Ē Gohan whimpered slightly in response, and Goku registered Gohanís slight rocking motion against him.
It was then that Goku realized what the firmness pressed into his thigh was. The implications were unsettling. He thought about what it meant, and didnít know if he could comfort his son in that manner. But as Goku thought about it he felt the dried tears on his bare skin and the relaxing heat of Gohanís body. The arms around him seemed to communicate a feeling of need and trust as they kept him close that Goku responded to.
Goku decided to help his son in any way Gohan needed him. He had regretted too many things he hadnít done for Gohan and this wouldnít be one of them. Decision made, Goku tried to loosen Gohanís grip. He needed Gohanís help if the boy was going to enter him. Despite the soft murmurs of reassurance and even softer caresses, Gohan wouldnít release his hold on Goku.
Instead, Gohan buried his face further into his fatherís chest, arms tightening. At a loss, Goku moved his head closer to Gohanís ear once more. ďIt will be harder for you to enter me if you donít help.Ē
That did what Gokuís previous actions had not. Gohanís head came up, swollen eyes staring at his father, his grip loosening only slightly. There was surprise and hesitation in those eyes, but under it all there was yearning and complete acceptance. He moved and his lips latched onto Gokuís, the need in the gesture a palpable thing around them. Gohanís lips applied a force almost bruising in intensity. He backed off a little only when Goku parted his own lips, and only to deepen the kiss.
Gohan kept his arms locked around Goku. He wouldnít let his father move away from him. Goku yielded to his sonís wishes and no longer tried to coax Gohan to loosen his hold. Instead, Goku used his tongue to coax low moans from Gohan, delving into his mouth with careful deliberation. Moving one arm from around Gohan, and relying on him to keep them close, Goku managed to remove his and Gohanís pants. That task accomplished, Goku brought his fingers to his mouth, wanting to comfort his son, but also wanting to do so without a great amount of pain.
Gohan avidly watched Gokuís tongue swirl over and between the two fingers in his mouth. He practically whimpered when Goku withdrew them, mouth parting slightly, his breath coming out in short, rapid pants. When Goku moved toward his own entrance Gohan finally spoke.
ďMe. Please,Ē he asked, not in his usual confident tone but in one that was desperate and anxious. Goku hesitated, unsure of what Gohan was asking. It was made clear when Gohan used the leverage created by his arms being around his father, to pull Goku half on top him. Gohan then bent one knee and spread his legs. Goku understood the gesture and complied by settling between Gohanís thighs, hooking his arm under the one bent knee.
Gohanís grip on his father had slipped, but when Goku tried to hold his body away from his sonís, Gohan tightened it once more, pulling his father down on top of him. Gohan then moved his leg to hook around Gokuís hip and back.
ďWait,Ē Goku said, trying to situate himself. But Gohan kept tugging at Goku until Goku pressed his lips to the silken base of Gohanís neck and lightly sucked. This stilled Gohan enough to allow Goku to bring his hand up to his mouth. Goku lifted his mouth from Gohanís skin, but started rocking against the form under him, keeping Gohan occupied long enough for Goku to slick his fingers once more.
Watching Gohanís face for signs of pain, Goku slid one finger inside his son. His dark eyes seemed to beg for more even as his body clenched to keep the intruding digit out. Once inside, Goku rubbed gently at the walls of muscle. He relaxed them until his second finger slid in, and then began a gentle scissoring motion to widen the entrance.
Gohanís sex was hard, pressed against Gokuís stomach. Deciding it was time, Goku positioned the tip of his arousal against Gohanís prepared entrance. Watching Gohanís face for signs of discomfort, Goku slowly pushed into his son. There was only one moment of hesitation when Gohanís eyes crinkled slightly, but as soon as Goku paused Gohan tried to rock his hips up. Obligingly, Goku continued.
The creases on either sided of Gohanís eyes deepened, but since there was no protest and no other sign of pain, Goku didnít stop his gradual entry. When he was fully seated within Gohan, Goku was rewarded for his effort. Gohanís face went slack and his mouth opened in a silent testament of pleasure. Goku kissed one of the closed eyes before he started moving inside Gohan. The powerful muscles in Gokuís hips flexed with the motion, and Goku shut his eyes, lost in the pleasurable friction.
When he next opened them, it was because of Gohanís hands tightening on his arms. The sight that met his eyes caused him to stop in mid thrust. Gohan was crying again. Goku could see the fresh trails the mute tears had left on Gohanís cheeks. He had been pushing into the tight sheath of Gohanís body when he froze. There was a moments hesitation before Goku started to withdraw. Gohanís eyes flew open and his grip tightened even more on Gokuís arms as he tried to press himself closer to the body above him.
ďDonít stop!Ē Gohan said, pleading and alarmed. ďPlease donít stop. Donít leave me.Ē
The fear in Gohanís voice, more so than the words, stopped Goku from fully withdrawing. ďShhh, Gohan,Ē he said. ďIím not going anywhere.Ē But Gohan didnít relax until Goku moved so that he was once again completely sheathed by Gohanís body. Tears were still sliding down Gohanís cheeks, and Goku didnít know what to do.
ďYou canít leave me,Ē whispered Gohan. ďI donít want to be alone anymore.Ē
ďIím here. Iíll stay.Ē It hurt him to see his son this way. To punctuate his words, Goku rotated his hips, pressing them against Gohan. He also took Gohanís erection into his hand, brushing the seeping tip with his thumb. As Gohan relaxed a little, Goku pulled out slightly and carefully thrust back in. He then set the same pace with his hand, wrapping it around Gohanís member and stroking in time with each thrust of his hips.
Goku allowed his son to pull him down so that his head rested on Gohanís shoulder. Pulling out more and more with each thrust, but never increasing the pace, had Gohan tightening his hold on his father and making inarticulate sounds in the back of his throat. Goku moaned in response as his sonís pleasure wracked body trembled enticingly beneath him.
Goku held back his own completion until he felt muscles clamp around his member and the wet rush of Gohanís ejaculate. Their twin release was intense but nothing earth shattering. It was just the gentle pulse of warm liquid over shuddering muscles in the quiet darkness. Its intensity was found not in the throes of release, but in the comforting presence and sheltering arms of the two who came together. For tonight, Gohan was shielded from his pain, Goku was there for his son, and they had banished each otherís loneliness.