Oh. Kami. No.
Those are the three words that run through my head as you pronounce the news.
Your eyes are glowing with joy as you pull your koishi to your side and press your lips to her forhead.
Everyone around us begins to cheer and applaud the declaration, moving closer to you and your soon-to-be wife. I try in vain to manage a smile, but it twists cruelly on my lips. How can I possibly smile when this is the worst day of my life?
How could you do this to me?
Oh, I suppose it isn't your fault. I mean, I never told you how I felt. How could I? You were the all-around gorgous stud, causing women melt with only a smile, a flip of the hair. Hell, you even attracted men at times. But I have seen how you always turn them down, telling them politely thanks, but no thanks.
I always feared hearing you say the same to me.
It's odd. People would say I was gay, but I have never been attracted to any other guy, nor to any women. I only had eyes for you, koishi.
I wandered about puberty, trying to hide my blush when you would smile at me, telling the most hentai jokes ever. When we would spar, I would have to do my best not to get straddled or you would have felt my attraction to you in an instant.
How I hated it when I would see you flirt with so many girls. Sure, they only lasted two weeks, but in those two weeks, they would have the company and love of the most lovliest guy in the world.
God, how I envied them all for it.
I knew that if you knew about my love for you, you would be shocked, suprised, a bit confused...perhaps hate me?
I could never go on living if you did.
I didn't want any of those emotions. Just love. There were times when I would fantasize about what would happen if I did tell, and in them, you would confes your love for me as well. We would embrace and share and soul-shattering kiss that would make a romance novel seem dull.
Now my soul is just shattered.
When you started seeing her, I thought it would be no different. I thought that nothig would come of it. How could it? You've known each other for years, and nothing happened before then.
How very wrong I was.
When the two week period passed,I began to worry. What if this time you fell for this one? I had to do something. So I suggested we go on a camping trip. You agreed...with some reluctance. I could hardly rip you out of her arms as pulled you into the air car. By now, I was panicking.
I had reason to.
But during the entire week, I had a blast with you. It was like old times, when we were just children, training for all our worth. We stood up late, telling jokes and stories, our dreams for the future, (you with a rather dreamy look on your face) roasting marshmellows and occasionally flicking stones at each other. It was perfect.
When it came time to go, I stood there on a cliff, watching the sun rise. It was a magnificent site. The colors of gold, rose, violet, and orange tinting the s ky.
When you came to stand by me, I felt all my inhibitions let loose. I looked at you and said, "Ai Shiteru, old friend".
No! Had I just said that?! But you simply turned to me, smiled that toe-curling smile, and said, "Ai Shiteru Ni, old friend". You turned back to sun.
At first I felt shock, then joy. He loved me! But no, wait, he had meant like firendship type of love.
When we arrived back at home, we went to the phone and began calling people. I was vaguely intrigued, but just went to the bathroom to take a bath. When I got out, everyone was there. You were in the middle, you koishi by yoour side.
"Everyone", you said, "I know it may seem a bit soon, But I have made up my mind. ..... We're gettin' married!" This was followed by a loud cheer.
Oh. Kami. No
When everyone else began to disperse, you walk to me. I can only stand there.
How can I not at least say something to that?
I love you, koishi.