Insult - By Blossom Morphine
It should have never ended this way. Not this way. Not this way.
I had hoped he would understand. I had even truly believed he might return my affections.
Love sick fool.
I suppose I should have known. Why would you return them? You, loveliest of all, could have any man at your side.
I just had the stupidity of believing, for one beautiful sweet moment, I might be that man.
But oh, what does this matter now? Now that you are gone, far from my grasp.
Off with him...
It's becuase of him that your love has abandoned me. It's becuase of him that I am all alone once more. Once more in the cold dark abyss that had haunted me since I was a mere child.
He stole you from me. HE stole YOU from ME!
He has everything I had strived for. What right does he have to take this last thing from me? He stole you from me. You, my love for the last six years.
For the last six years, you have consumed me. But how was I to know you were hands off? How was I to know that you were a forbidden fruit. All I knew was the way your eyes seemed to captivate me in their cool depths.
I had to have you.
You looked as if you too had nearly lost everything that ever meant a thing to you at the hands of cruel monsters. I knew you would understand. You would understand the lonliness that had gripped me since birth. You would heal me. If only you hadn't been stronger that me.
If you hadn't been, my pride would have never gotten in the way. I was too proud to fall for a person stronger than m. I had to act as if you were merely a new rival. Push you away; act is if you were nothing to me
Even if you slowly becoming everything to me.
When you left, I nearly went mad. I had felt a connection when you looked at me, complimenting me on my attire. It was as if we had met before. Fate?
I trained hard to attain a new power status during the day. But during the nights, I dreamt of you. You would haunt me, sometimes in whisps of love and care, other times in hot and naughty fantasies. Always though, I would ache in one way or the other for you.
The day you returned wa a very happy and very sorry day for me. Happy because I could see you once more. Sorry, becuase you revealed to be out of my reach.
But just becuase I could not have you, did not mean he could.
Oh, how could I not notice the admiration that shone in your eyes when you spoke of him? You always insisted that he had to be there.
How my hate for him grew for him even more so than before.
The time when I had you alone, I could not help but come to know you more. I came to know the little things you liked, such as dark chocolate, and the things you hated, like potato based products. Although any time you tried to talk to me, I would just growl at you to stop wasting my time, I realized you were a rather intelligent person. Hell, I didn't know half the crap you kept babbling about In short, despite the cold front I often presented to you, my love increased.
But I had to hide it for a new reason. If you realized I loved you, you might turn away from me, disgust and hate written on your face. I knew I could not have that. No, better to keep you away and still have a sliver of a relationship to you than to let you know and lose you forever.
But, then that night came. You looked so tormented, and I was tired. Every night you had a nightmare, and every night I barely had any sleep. So, I woke you up.
You looked confused for a moment, trying to remember where you were. Then you looked at me. And I saw it. A flicker of what might be...love? rose in those cool depths.
Love for...me? Was it possible that you could actually ...love...me? Oh, I knew you were concerend about me, but I never thought you could love me? Before I knew it, my affection and ardour arose. And then I was leaning towards you. I saw you eyes close and your lips part. I closed my own eyes.
I kissed you.
It was a brief, chaste kiss. But oh, it was perfect. I have never had anything like it, and I doubt I ever will again.
You pulled away. I was rewarded with a small smile. You fell asleep.
For the rest of the time, you acted as if nothing happened. I went along with it. We were here to train. But there was a feeling of contetment that had not been there before.
Then things went straight to hell.
Our conflicting view of honor and duty drove us apart. You wanted to get it over with. I wanted to enjoy it. Becuase of my folly, I gave our enemy more power.
Then, there was your insistance he had to be there. That he would be the one to solve all this. Had you no faith in my abilities? Was your opinion of me so low that you would not think of me as a possibility?
It hurt me deep down to think this. But it hurt more when you were not even there to critisize me. When our foe killed you, I felt a pain like nothing I ever felt. It was as if someone had reached in and ripped my heart out. Then a rage and hatred I have only felt before for only two other in my life.
He had to pay.
But he paid at another's hands, not of my own. When you returned to us, I felt the same way when I first met you. With the enemy slain, you chose to stay with us. At last, time for us.
Apparently you had a different ideas. Or at least some one else in mind.
You began to spend more time with him. Why? I had thought you loved me. That I was the one you wanted.
I was in despair, but I hid my emotion well. Then, you began to have arguments. You wanted to know why he wasn't getting the divorce over and done with. At last, you threw him out.
I was escastic. At last, time for us. You needed someone to listen. I listened. You needed someone to watch TV and go to rock concerts with. I went. You needed someone to hold, and in rare moments, kiss you. I held and kissed. You needed someone to understand. I understood.
In the beginning, I told myself not to expect too much. That naturally you would not view me as someone to become romatically involved with. But, oh, hope was born. It grew with every day I spent with you. My dreams became more sweeter every night. I would actually look forward to my time with you. Life was wonderful. I soon came to believe that I would have your love.
Then, he came back, with the divorce papers in hand, to show you proof of his love. You just stood there, very calmly. I watched, from the stairs, smug with the knowledge that you were mine.
It was not to last.
You spoke: "There is only one person I can think of right now to spend the rest of my days with"'.
Yes! I started to rise, to say that it would be me you meant. It was a beautiful sweet moment. In that moment, I truly believed that everything would finally fall into place. That no longer would I have to spend the days and night alone in the darkness and sorrow, but with light and laughter. It was a moment of so perfect, with my fully believing my life would be complete, I should had known it was not meant to be.
"I need you, don't you know that Goku?" You jumped in his arms, and kissed him, with a look of pure joy on your face.
My heart broke.
No! How could you? You want him? Him? But what about me? I want you, I need you, I..love...you...
I could not take it. A scream let loose from my throat. To this day, I still do not know if it was more of rage or pain. But whatever, I screamed. You looked at me in suprise.
"Father...?" you said. But no, I was already flying straight at the ceiling. Away from you, away from him, away from the scene of your confirmation of the day everything crashed to an end.
Now, I sit here, on the same rock I sat on over six years ago. That day I became captivated by your cool blue eyes. The day my life was no longer my own.
Love, pain, need, hated, jelousy, and lonlieness are what I fell. Love for you, need to have you, pain that I don't have you, hatred for him, jelousy that he has you. And lonliness, because I don't even have your presence to ease it. How could you insult me this way by choosing him over me?
What do I do now? My life is over. That third-class clown stole you from me. I have nothing now. You were everything to me. Everything.
Love sick fool.
I love you.
My love, my son, my Trunks.