Chapter 3: Misery Loves Company
Goku stared at him blankly for a moment, not registering what Vegeta had said. The prince's anger rose even higher when the other Saijin would not reply; his fists clenched tightly as he began to power up. "Fight me you bastard!" he screamed, letting himself turn Super Saijin level two in a fury of emotion. Goku stood up, leaping into the air in confusion, "What!? Vegeta...why!?" The brunette growled loudly, baring his clenched teeth as he was able to whisper, "Fucking asshole..." He let out a howl, launching into the air towards Goku, wishing only to inflict pain. Goku let himself transform as well, yet he surpassed Vegeta's level as he dodged the shorter man's punch. "Vegeta, what's wrong!?" the question told by itself was insane. At that moment it was apparent what was wrong: Vegeta's entire life had been turned upside down. After all that time of having a semi-steady life, and a taste of love, he had lost it all. And he lost it without the opportunity to say goodbye. Even still, fighting was ludicrous at this point. There was no need for it. "Go to hell!" the other man replied, turning and launching a series of blasts aimed at Goku's torso. "Stop it!" the larger Saijin requested in a demanding tone, tossing the blasts aside with a little less than ease, "I don't want to fight you!"
'Of course you don't, Kakkarot! You're too high and mighty to deal with shit like me!'
"Fuck you!" Vegeta screamed, successfully slamming his hand into Goku's stomach, surprising him. Goku needed a second to recover but the prince would not allow that as he kicked him into the graveyard. Goku pushed himself up out of the muddy ground, wiping the brown muck off of his face. He looked up into the sky with a glare, finding the other Saijin smirking in his usual way. He grit his teeth and breathed, trying to calm himself down before he'd do damage to Vegeta or to anything around him. "What's the matter, Kakkarot?" Vegeta taunted, folding his arms in his usual smug fashion, "Eating too little make you weak?" Goku's throat released a raspy noise that indicated he was trying his best not to growl, "I told you, I'm just fine Vegeta." The older man sneered, cocking his head to the side, 'That makes one of us.' The Prince of Saijins let his arms unfold and he smirked again, "Well, let's just see about that!" He inhaled a great amount of air and he began to scream out, "Final Flash!" Goku's eyes widened, completely taken aback, "Vegeta, are you nuts!?" The blast ripped through the air at a blinding rate, the yellow light concentrated directly at his opponent. The ground was split and charred, the energy cutting through it as a hot knife cuts through butter. But the blast was defused after the black-haired man retaliated, shouting out, "Kamehameha!"
By this time though, Vegeta wasn't in sight and Goku searched the sky for his figure which held no trace. He couldn't sense his ki anymore, but he knew his attack hadn't hit him..so what happened? "Asshole!" was what he heard before an elbow connected with his back causing him to fall, once again, into the mud. "Damnit, Vegeta! Stop it!" Goku's voice contained growing anger as he got up, tossing his long hair out of his face. The strands were dirtied with the wet earth, smearing brown with gold. "Make me," the brunette mused, pushing Goku who almost fell over but was able to quickly recover. Vegeta laughed, flying up into the air and sending another group of blasts in Goku's direction. The taller Saijin easily dodged the attacks, flying up into the air as well. They needed to stay away from the ground where they might disrupt the resting place of so many people. Vegeta blasted off towards Goku's advance to meet him halfway, trying his best to land a punch though Goku was too fast for him. 'Damnit! Damnit! DAMNIT!' Vegeta cursed, trying his best to swing faster but Goku was still there, easily deflecting him but not hitting back. Finally, fed up, Vegeta threw an energy blast with a punch, catching the younger Saijin off guard. With his concentration now broken, Vegeta took this time to get as many punches as he could in. He slammed his right fist into Goku's chin, 'This is for our first fight.' He followed the previous punch with a sock to the stomach, 'This is for coming to Namek.' He drew back quickly, not hesitating as he brought his hands forward to punch both sides of Goku's chest, launching blasts into him directly after impact, 'And THAT'S for becoming a SUPER SAIJIN BEFORE ME!!'
Goku flew backward, spiraling out of control and landing in a tree, breaking a few branches in the process. The brown limbs cracked and fell to the ground with large thuds. The white bird he had seen earlier flapped it's wings vigorously, escaping to find shelter. He shook his head, letting anger over take him again. He powered up, and took off of the tree at such a high speed that the launch broke off the branch he had been on. He flew up at Vegeta faster than the prince realized and the brunette was suddenly tackled in the gut, losing all the air that was in his lungs. They flew upwards for a few moments and then Goku screeched to a halt, letting Vegeta fall downwards. The brunette shook his head, snapping out of it, 'Damn asshole! I will not let you beat me this time! Not ever again!!' He flew back up to Goku, a golden trail of light following him to show where he had been, and continued to throw more punches and kicks at Goku who was more cautious than last time. "Stop it," the black-haired man hissed, grabbing Vegeta's arm and twisting it around, forcing Vegeta to move as well. He turned around so he wasn't facing Goku in an attempt to relieve the pain in his elbow, but by doing so he only made his situation worse. "Let me go you foolish bastard!" Vegeta screamed in rage, his eyes glowing oddly as he squirmed in the taller man's grasp. "Promise me you won't fight," Goku asked in a calm, yet stern tone. He wanted to let Vegeta know he wasn't joking. "I promise you nothing, you-" Vegeta began, snarling as he attempted to kick Goku. The earth-raised Saijin released a loud, short growl to express how displeased he was. He also expressed it by rearranging Vegeta's arm, twisting it behind his back and pulling as if trying to make the back of his hand touch his head. The prince roared at the pain that jabbed in his shoulder, causing it to throb in annoyance. His nose flared and all he cared about at that moment was finding a way of escape and getting revenge.
"Promise me!" Goku no longer asked, but demanded, screaming into Vegeta's ear. Why was the thought of fighting Vegeta bothering him so much? He dully noted that he had begun to shake, but he was sure it wasn't noticeable to Vegeta. But it had been. 'Damn jerk-off! Just let me go already! Fuck! Why the hell is he trembling!?' the shorter man was confused, but anger was still his prominent emotion. He had to get out of this grip. He had to inflict pain. He had to show Goku that he wasn't some pathetic weakling that he could beat any time he wanted. He was Vegeta, the Prince of all Saijins. This earth-raised Saijin still needed to know his place. He was third-class while Vegeta was royalty. 'He should have been dead long ago, damnit!' Vegeta angrily spat at himself for not being able to eliminate his rival at their first meeting. "Promise me, Vegeta!" Goku's voice rang out again, his breath felt on his neck causing his skin to crawl. He didn't know why, but he assumed it was because of the temperature change. Vegeta turned his head slowly, looking over his shoulder. Goku raised an eye ridge as Vegeta's lips turned upright. His eyes were unusually dark and he opened his mouth to speak, pausing for a few moments. His voice was low, and could have been mistaken for being soft, but it definitely contained emotions normal for Vegeta: mockery, anger, coldness...
"....Fuck..you."
Goku twisted his arm up further and this time Vegeta could not resist the cry that escaped his lips. The damn asshole nearly ripped off his arm! Before he knew he was counter-attacking his foot connected with Goku's kneecap, forcing it into an unnatural position. The black-haired Saijin released a strange noise as he clutched his leg, letting go of Vegeta. The brunette had become so strong in a way...or maybe Vegeta had been right and he was getting weak? 'Damnit! Why is he doing this!?' Goku silently questioned, looking up for an answer. But a hand full of clenched fingers was his reply. He was knocked back a few feet but he let his good leg extend to meet Vegeta's stomach. The prince coughed roughly, almost vomiting it seemed, but able to resist the reflex. Goku took this time to fix his misaligned kneecap, wincing as he put in it's proper place. Vegeta held his stomach with his left hand, gathering energy with his right. Goku backed up, flying higher into the air as Vegeta threw the blast at him, continuously regenerating the blast and launching it from his palm. Goku dodged most of them, a few were lucky and nicked his clothing or brushed against his skin, scratching it. Why wasn't he fighting so well tonight? The fight should have already been over with by normal standards. He clenched his fists, letting his elbows bend so his arms were about waist level. He took a breath and let his energy expand to create a force field around himself so Vegeta's blasts wouldn't even reach him. He gazed down at Vegeta whose eyes were wide, not from shock, but madness. The prince stopped the futile assaults, letting his arms drop to his sides. Perspiration began to build, a few droplets straying down the side of his head, splashing softly onto his navy blue outfit. Goku began to relax slightly, noticing that Vegeta was holding still, and he figured that the prince had used the fight to vent some of his frustration, and now that he relieved some stress, he would stop.
Taking a brave step, Goku dropped out of his Super Saijin state and descended until he was eye level with Vegeta. The brunette closed his eyes, slowly letting his power level drop, first from Super Saijin level two, then to level one, and then to normal. He breathed for a few minutes, feeling Goku's gaze upon him. A relentless gaze, a confused gaze...Kakkarot never understood...How could he? It was a joke for Goku to even say that he might understand some things about Vegeta. The other Saijin was raised on this pathetic planet called Earth after all. The Earth...the place that birthed...Bulma. A wave of emotion washed over him, one he wasn't sure of. It was anger, disgust, but loneliness and disappointment as well...so many negative emotions and feelings. At least he had those, the ones he always resorted to, the ones he knew so well..he had lost the others he had gained on the planet when Bulma died. Love, affection, concern..those were emotions of a weakling. And he had let himself be with a weakling and he had let that weakling become a part of his life. And now he had lost that weakling and those weak feelings. Or did he? No...he still felt those feelings, but he didn't want them anymore. He wanted to go back to the way he was, back to the left, to the black. He wanted to move from where he was at that moment, in the middle, in the grey, fuzzy area that he couldn't understand. Damn, he hated this. When he finally thought he had some routine to his life, when he finally thought everything would be okay...this had to come along and fuck everything up. Damnit.
But did it matter, really? What else was there to do? Train to get better, to get stronger, to beat Kakkarot? '"Everyone knows you're a tough guy, but you've got to rest now",' Bulma's words echoed through Vegeta's mind; he was beginning to lose touch with the world, Goku's stare began to annoy him less and less as he concentrated more and more on the things he was reviewing inside of his head. God, everyone he had interacted with..how many of them cared? How many of them made a difference? His father, Nappa, Radditz, Kakkarot, Gohan, Krillin, Yamcha, Tien, Chaozu, Chi-chi, Oolong, Piccolo, Kakkarot, Dodoria, Zarbon, Guldo, Racom, Jeice, Berter, Ginyu, Freiza, Kakkarot, Bulma, Trunks, Bra, Androids 20, 19, 18, 17, 16, Cell, Kakkarot..Kakkarot......Kakkarot. His muscles tensed, then relaxed, and then tensed again. Kakkarot and his determination, Kakkarot and his smile, Kakkarot and his laughter, Kakkarot and his friends, Kakkarot and his mercy, Kakkarot and his loyalty, Kakkarot and his hunger, Kakkarot and his faithfulness, Kakkarot and his certainty, Kakkarot and his damn ability to beat him at everything! Damn him! Damn Kakkarot! Damn him for rubbing in his mistakes! Damn him for proving him wrong! Damn him for letting him live! Damn him for helping him even when he didn't ask or want it! Damn him for caring! Damn him for being unselfish! And damn him for understanding!!.....For.......understanding. Damn him.....Kakkarot.
A screech lurched out of the brunette's throat involuntarily..he just couldn't stand it anymore!! Goku jumped in surprise, wincing as well as the strange noise grated on his ears, his mind still reeling and wondering what was going on. Vegeta flew at Goku, blasting up to his maximum ability and successfully catching the younger Saijin off guard. His fist connected with Goku's nose and the black-haired man moved several feet backwards, cupping his face with his hands. He drew back his hands to see crimson liquid smeared across them, and the stings of pain he felt confirmed that Vegeta had done a substantial amount of damage to his nose. "What the hell was that for!?" Goku yelled at the top of his lungs, wiping his blood off onto his orange gi pants. Vegeta nodded his head upwards, gesturing in such a way that confused Goku even more. Why was he nodding!? You don't nod to a question that isn't a yes or no question! "Damnit Vegeta!" Goku growled angrily, unsure of what to do with the prince. "I think you know what it's for," Vegeta said after a moment, folding his arms as small flickers of energy passed across and over his body. 'What is he talking about??' Goku pondered, grinding his teeth in an attempt to relieve some stress. "Still lost?" Vegeta questioned, his voice near silent. Slowly he moved towards Goku, flying at a steady pace at first until he got within a yard of the black-haired Saijin, and then he cut back his speed, making Goku nervous. Vegeta let his eyelids drop to half-closed, leaning dangerously close to Goku, but not touching him. He leaned his head forward, around to the side of Goku's head. The breath of the older Saijin wasn't at a normal temperature, but a bit cooler. Goku tried to calm himself but for some reason his inhaling and exhaling wasn't staying uniform when Vegeta was this close to him. What was wrong with him...?
Vegeta's lips paused before Goku's ear and he looked at the other Saijin, wondering if the man would move or say something. But he didn't, he merely sat, waiting for Vegeta to say whatever he wished to say. The Prince of Saijins smirked as he bunched his fingers up to form a fist; he let his cheek come so close to Goku's that his opponent could feel him without actually physically touching him. Vegeta brought up his left hand, which wasn't formed into a fist like his right, and cupped it, holding it up to the side of his face so it looked as though he was telling Goku a secret. His words were distinct, there was no mistake about what he said, and he spoke calmly, smoothly, adding confusion to the onslaught of emotions that followed the small phrase Vegeta whispered into his ear soothingly, "...I hate you, Kakkarot." A fist slammed into his torso, causing him to reel through the air out of control. Vegeta gathered his breath and called out, "BIG BANG ATTACK!!" His hands jutted outward and the blast sent Goku tumbling to the ground. His body rolled and slid, destroying everything in it's path. Bushes were mowed over, scratching his skin, tombstones her broken, chipped, completely destroyed as he passed by, or through them. Trees tumbled, crushing anything in their way as they fell, and Goku landed, bruised and slightly bloody, on a fresh grave. He shook his head, feeling the mud move beneath his body with each breath. His eyes slowly opened and he instantly locked onto Vegeta's ki, not daring to let it escape his attention. He stood, slowly, his eyes unmoving from the spot in the sky which Vegeta was occupying. He vaguely noted that his hair sagged and pressed against his body, starting from about the neck, clinging all the way down to around his thighs. He moved a strand of golden hair that obscured his perfect view of the Saijin prince out of the way. They had all said Vegeta was an asshole. Maybe they were right. Or maybe he needed to be taught some manners: the shorter man hadn't owned any. Pretty ironic for a prince, actually. To be a brat was one thing, but to have no etiquette was another. Things must've been very strange on Vegeta-sai.
Vegeta-sai..Vegeta...he hadn't let his eyes stray from Vegeta's form. He wouldn't let him get away now. He wouldn't allow him anymore lucky shots. He was done with playing games. He was done with being toyed with. It was time to show Vegeta who was the boss, and it didn't matter who was what rank. What mattered was who was stronger. Obviously Vegeta had never been taught this valuable lesson. "I don't care," Goku replied, knowing that somehow over their great distance, Vegeta had been able to hear him. And he had. 'I'm glad,' Vegeta grinned his normal cocky battle grin, hoping to provoke the Saijin even more. It was his dream for Goku not to care, and now he didn't. But within the depths of the prince's soul, it stung harshly for Goku to say such a thing. It hurt more than any wound he had had before, but the satisfaction it caused at the same time, drowned the pain out. But yet, a thought crossed Vegeta's mind..what if Kakkarot meant he didn't care that Vegeta hated him, and that he was going to continue the way they had? He shook his head slightly to himself..he didn't know how to react to that! He...had to know. And so he stared back into Goku's eyes, letting himself prod carefully to see what Goku meant. But there was some type of interference, Goku wasn't focused on that, it was too difficult to find what he was looking for, Goku was only...waiting for him to make his move.
"Then fuck off," Vegeta responded, his expression losing it's cockiness and returning to it's normal scowl. "Why don't YOU?" Goku asked, teleporting himself behind Vegeta and blasting his back. He cried out in surprise and pain, turning around at the exact moment Goku brought his fist forward, punching his jaw so hard it caused him to falter for a few seconds. Goku took this time to grab the prince by his hair, and while holding him in place, continued to deliver a series of blows to his chest. He brought his knee up, slamming it into Vegeta's midsection. The prince was not only surprised, but fairly injured by the attack, for he coughed up a bit of blood before gaining his senses. Goku went to kick him, but Vegeta was able to block the advance by grasping onto Goku's shin, therefore being pushed through the air instead of kicked. After Goku fully extended his leg, Vegeta flipped himself around, throwing Goku over his shoulder. But the black-haired man rebounded, tucking himself around and spinning so that when he uncurled he was facing Vegeta again. He grasped Vegeta's shoulders in a death grip, digging his short nails into the prince's skin, and before the brunette had time to reply Goku head-butted him, dazing the smaller man. He spun the lithe form around, forcing Vegeta's back against his knee and pulling on his arms and legs, as if trying to break him in two.
Vegeta yelped, trying to ignore the searing pain that coursed up and down his spine, he struggled wildly to get free with no avail. 'God, NO! I can't lose! I just can't! Damn Kakkarot! I CAN'T lose!!' Vegeta thought frantically, trying his best to escape from Goku's hold. And he mustered enough strength to do the only thing he could think of to do. He took a breath, lurched his head forward and spat at the younger Saijin's face. Goku exclaimed, letting out a disgusted, though surprised, cry as he released Vegeta to clean off his face. The prince backed off, bending his back as if making sure that it still worked properly. Goku looked up at him and Vegeta involuntarily shuddered. There was something about him...the way Goku looked at that moment. He just looked so..angry. He had never looked quite like that when fighting him before. It was odd; it didn't feel right. And for a brief moment Vegeta wondered if he had chosen to do the correct thing by enticing the other Saijin. But that thought was quickly dismissed with another. Regret. He felt like whatever punishment Goku would do - he deserved it. Memories of the endless hours of training flashed in Vegeta's mind. All those hours spent...all those hours wasted...all those hours that didn't do anything. He recalled what had occurred for him to become a Super Saijin for the first time.
He had been standing on the rugged dead planet, a enormous electrical storm raging before his eyes, matching his very mood. And then the meteors had begun to shower the landscape and he soon realized that it threatened his capsule. The capsule that would be his only way off the barren wasteland. He had defended it with all his might, blasting and shooting, flying left and right. And then the meteors had stopped falling, and he turned to look into the sky. The largest of the meteors came crashing down, pushing through the clouds towards him and his capsule. The energy he had spent while training in 450 times Earth's normal gravity had taken it's toll on his body. But he wouldn't give up: this was life or death. He kept his blast flowing and eventually the meteor gave, bursting into smaller sections of itself. And one of the pieces smashed into him, forcing him through edges of cliffs and into the ground. He had been broken, bloody, beaten..and yet he had managed to survive and win. His hand trembled as he forced himself to grab onto the nearest ledge to lift himself. If felt like every part of his body was bruised if not broken or bleeding. And yet he still managed to lift himself up into a kneeling position, shaking slightly because of the exertion. And then..he snapped. He suddenly had felt his body shake and his stomach twist. He didn't care about anything or anyone. Not Kakkarot. Not Bulma. Not even himself. Especially not himself. He didn't care about becoming a Super Saijin, he didn't care about anything! He had only one want at that time, one he hadn't ever had before, one that consumed his entire entity and one that he hadn't told anyone about.
He wanted to die.
That was when the fury of emotions gushed out over his body, giving him a newfound strength. He had thrown his head back, screaming at the surge and the confusion. God, how he had been so confused...And then, he simply sat on the ground, wondering what had occurred as he noticed the golden aura around his body. He blinked a few times, flexing various muscles as if testing them. And then he had gotten up, feeling a sensation he had never felt before. He almost felt..numb though he could still feel. It was his mind that was at rest, not his body. He was...mellow. Without a thought he flew back to his ship to get off the hellhole. He had punched in the coordinates for Earth, knowing he would have to take a shower and change his clothes. His clothes..he had looked at himself..what a mess. The aura was still there. Strange. But nonetheless he took a shower, letting the hot liquid cleanse his skin of dried blood and dirt. He had stepped out of the shower and begun to dry himself as something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye. The fogged mirror had shown a yellow reflection. He stood, his heart pounding wildly in his chest, in anticipation. His hand wiped off an area of the mirror to show a clear reflection instead of a hazy one. And he had gasped as he had looked into his eyes...his eyes that had been black were now blue. He quickly wiped off more of the condensation to expose his head and torso. At first all he could do was stare and marvel..he was...a Super Saijin. Then he laughed enthusiastically, proudly, screaming out to whomever could hear him that Kakkarot wasn't the only Super Saijin in existence. And since then he had completely forgotten about his only wish the moment he had turned Super Saijin..until now.
Because he began to feel the same way he had. Goku's angry look darkened even more, his eyes narrowing at the prince. "You always fought dirty, Vegeta. You could never accept the fact that you just aren't stronger than everyone else," Goku's voice as low and harsh, and for some reason, each word stung Vegeta worse than the previous one, infecting his body like a virus. A virus that stripped him of his pride, his arrogance, his honor, and determination. He was losing it all...and he knew it. "Kiss my ass, Kakkarot," he didn't know what he was saying until it was said, his mouth had just opened and the words had spewed out quicker than he could stop them. He realized instantly that it had merely been a reflex. He hadn't meant it. He began to wonder if he had ever meant it. But it was too late to apologize, Goku's expression informed him that there was no turning back. "Goddamnit!!" Goku shouted, punching Vegeta in the jaw, causing him to lean back. The brunette shook his head, spitting out a mixture of blood and saliva. He felt so dazed...and yet....he laughed. He laughed at the younger Saijin. At first it was a mocking laughter, light as if it meant nothing, but then it deepened until he was laughing like he had never done before. "Stop it!" Goku yelled, enraged at Vegeta's actions, assuming that the prince was making fun of him. In truth, the prince was not sure what he was doing himself. But he couldn't stop, not when he was so far into the laughter. It was another first for him and he wanted to experience it completely, he laughed louder and harder, his muscles in his cheeks beginning to hurt as he rested his hands on his knees for support. His face turned red and he gasped for air inbetween his bursts. "Damnit! Shut up!" Goku was enraged by now, and he slapped Vegeta twice. The prince instantly stopped his laughter and attempted an attack as if it second nature. His fist connected with Goku's eye socket before he realized what had occurred. Goku was slightly stunned, but not injured. He wanted to be sure that he was not the one receiving anymore injuries that night.
He mimicked Vegeta's movement, causing the smaller Saijin to cry out. He quickly followed with a punch to the stomach. And then he paused to see if Vegeta would respond. The prince looked up at him, slowly, his body trembling slightly..he felt so cold all of the sudden. Vegeta enticed him again, "C'mon, you can do better than that!" And so Goku proved to him that he could by taking him and throwing him into the ground. He flew down, nudging Vegeta onto his foot before tossing him up into the air so that he could drop kick him. Goku teleported behind him, smashing into his back with his elbow before appearing in front of the prince to grab him. Vegeta blinked a few times, letting empty words be his only offense...or was it his only defense? It didn't matter, he just let the syllables slip out, "You suck." Goku squeezed him with all his might, wanting to scream out his frustration. 'All those years and never once did you tell me thank you or your welcome..you just didn't care, Vegeta! Well, I don't want to care anymore either!!' Goku opened his mouth though no sounds escaped, he only let his grip get tighter and tighter. Vegeta, although, was beginning to cry out, the pain was unbearable, especially since he wasn't in Super Saijin form. It wasn't too long before he heard the sickening crack of bones breaking. His mind screamed out the pain that his body would not. It wasn't much. Just a few ribs. But yet, that wasn't what was hurting. But the physical pain helped bury some of it, even though his mind kept telling him that somehow Goku was laughing at him right at that moment....And then, Goku dropped him to look at his achievement. "Is that," he paused to swallow and take a breath, "all you got, Kakkarot? Really now, that's pathetic. Just like you. You don't have the right to share the same air that I breathe." Goku's eyes flared and his teeth ground against each other. 'Yeah, Kakkarot. Use your anger,' Vegeta felt a smile twitching his lips as he looked over the other Saijin. Kakkarot...he was so.......
"This is MY planet Vegeta! YOU stop breathing MY air!" the black-haired man replied, holding his arms back before thrusting them out while screaming, "KAMEHAMEHA!!" And then Vegeta knew. He wasn't sure how. He must've just searched at that moment in time, but...Goku didn't care whether Vegeta hated him or not, he had never cared what Vegeta thought about him. Never. And then, it happened again, only this time, worse: Vegeta didn't care either. He didn't care about his training, his strength, this fight. He didn't care whether he'd live or die or whether Kakkarot lived or.....or died. Whether Kakkarot.... The kamehameha wave hit him with a great deal of force, able to remove a few layers of skin from his chest within the first second. If he hadn't been hit he probably would've throw up. He was disgusted with...himself. It was about damn time that Kakkarot didn't show mercy. At least it'd be over now. And he wouldn't have to worry about anything anymore. Not like he cared. Did he.....care? The blast pushed further against him and into him, and he just stared blankly up into the sky..where he had last seen Goku. He suddenly began to recall different images of Goku: Goku beaten, both legs broken. Goku fighting the Ginyu force. Goku looking down at him as he told the larger Saijin his dying words. Goku with the strange outfit he came back with when he returned from outer space. Goku promising to fight him. Goku fighting Android 19 and falling to the heart virus. Goku casually as a Super Saijin. Goku fighting in the Cell games. Goku giving up his life in attempt to save everyone else's....that same Goku was here, killing him. And yet, he still did not care. He didn't care if Goku's attack ripped him to shreds. In fact, he invited it.
His memories finally returned, and he began to think of all that had happened to him during his life all at once. God, he just wanted it to end! He didn't want to remember these things! He didn't want to think these thoughts! He didn't want to care anymore! Care? He was still....caring? Why!? It was completely absurd! He didn't need to! He didn't need anyone or anything! He just needed to be left alone! ...The thought nearly made him laugh. How was he able to care when he had been hurt so many times? He couldn't, rather, he shouldn't have. Goku's attack finally smashed him into the ground singeing his skin and tearing at his clothes. The pain was extraordinary, a comfort in a bizarre type of way. Pain was a good thing. It was something he was accustomed to, both giving and receiving. But pain could be strange sometimes..coming in different forms other than physical pain. Physical pain he was a master at dealing with, but emotionally, he was more confused than Goku as a kid trying to count. He'd been so alone his whole life....
..That was it.....!
He...didn't want to be...alone anymore.
But he was alone. Completely and utterly alone like he had been for his entire life. Or so he had always thought. His mind reeled, bringing to his attention all the times he had and had not had someone there with him. Mainly for the first half of his life he fended for himself. And for some reason he remembered when he had been thrown into that jail cell on Freiza's ship so many years ago. Sitting there in his uniform that told that he was the Prince of Saijins; he stared at the ground blankly. There was nothing else better to do than sit there. And think. Of course back then he had a one track mind, unlike now which pondered things he hadn't considered. Sitting there alone, in that cold damp cell, blasting whatever rats were brave enough to venture into his sight. He wanted to kill, to destroy..because that was all that was exposed to him. Pride and power. That was all that was needed to enjoy life. And then he had fought with Goku, and his pride was shredded and his power tested. And ever since then he had not been able to beat Goku, and it annoyed him so...because it went against everything that had been taught to him. Where was pride and power then? Where had it gotten him? What did it ever do for him? It made him bitter, angry, alone. So was that the right way to feel? He had always thought so...but Goku was different. He was a Saijin and he wasn't bitter, angry, or alone. He was happy, carefree, and friendly. Goku cared. Were Saijins inherently blood-thirsty or was it just the way the culture had raised them? They were naturally violent, but not bitter, angry, or...alone. Goku proved the system wrong. He was the strongest of them all and yet he carried all the emotions and characteristics of a weakling. Mercy, trust, honesty, and..love...was love so weak? Love had kept Goku and his friends together and alive. Love was so strange too because it was like pain in the way that there were different types of both. Love was stranger though, it was something uncontrollable and in the mind...something generated from the mind, not the body. That was lust...lust wasn't truly love, lust was a bodily craving. Love was something different...special...
There was love between friends, love between family, love between mates, the love of something....emotions were so..confusing. Or maybe they were simpler than he thought. He felt them all the time, day and night, constantly, never ceasing. He felt them even now. He felt defeat. He felt shame. He felt regret. He felt hopelessness. He felt stupid. He felt despair. He felt sick. He felt confused. He felt anxious. He felt lost. He felt uncertain. He felt...lonely.
His hearing slowly returned and the sound of rain drops lightly pattering the foliage alerted him that another storm was passing through. This one was light though, no lighting or thunder was produced. The sound was quiet and soothing which calmed his shaking. Shaking? He was shaking? He sniffled, coughing slightly as he sobbed. Oh god....no....he was crying. He suddenly became aware of himself and his surroundings. He was prone on the ground, in a muddy mess. His chest hurt, his eyes burned as they released hot tears. The warm liquid flowed down the side of his face, hardly noticeable against the rain. He sensed a power level nearby. It was Goku. Unmistakable. Undeniable. It was Goku. 'Is just going to stand there!? Why won't he just leave me!?' Vegeta thought as his lungs begged for more air in between his sobs. 'God, look at me! I...I....' he paused, sniffled, before bursting out, crying harder then before, '...I don't care, damnit! I just don't care anymore!!' And yet he didn't want the younger Saijin to see him as he was...an empty shell of a man. He curled up onto his side, trying to hide his face from Goku. 'Just leave me, Kakkarot, please,' the prince begged, shivering against the cold. Soft footsteps headed in his direction, and he curled up even tighter than before. He was so ashamed, he couldn't face Goku at a time like this. He couldn't face anyone anymore. Not even himself. How he just wished he had died..how he wished he had gone to Hell where he belonged...
The black-haired man approached him, silently reprimanding himself with every passing second, calling him every curse word he could think of that Vegeta had once used. 'Damnit! Look at what you've done to him!!' Goku's mind screamed as he looked over the body of the small Saijin in front of him. His clothes were nearly rags, his chest had a wound that in all likelihood would leave a scar even though it was a wonder that he didn't die from it, and he was a complete wreck..crying his eyes out. God how he wanted to kill himself! How foolish of him to left his anger get control of and cloud his judgment! Damn..he didn't know what to do. He wanted to make it better, to make it up to Vegeta, but he didn't know how. He just knew he had to do..something. He knelt, trying to decide whether or not he should attempt to help the prince. 'Just leave, Kakkarot, just leave...' Vegeta thought, shaking his head, knowing that deep down he wanted the man to stay. He was so alone...he wanted - he needed - the company. Goku slowly reached out to him when a small movement caught his eye. He blinked for a few moments, just staring at the sight in the mud. And then realization struck him and he gasped, his eyes widening. He carefully lifted Vegeta to examine him, noting that the man had lost all strength. Vegeta leaned into his body, letting his head rest on Goku's shoulder, he was getting so tired...so...sleepy....he was so tired, of everything..of living. Goku hesitantly began to rub his hand down Vegeta's back, nervous about what he was doing and what he was going to find. He hoped it was his imagination but...His hand touched the base of the furry appendage and Goku closed his eyes as he felt self-loathe overcome him. Vegeta had regrown his tail.
Part Four |
Back |