Title: Own Me
Author: Sita Seraph
Genre: Serious Angst
Pairing: None, yet.
WARNING (read it this time): DARK fic. Angst on a little boy. Corruption in the mind. Leave and don’t read this time if it disturbs you, Kay?
Notes: each chapter/part is going to be named different. So here is the order so you don’t get confused all right?
Forgive Me...~A Father's Thoughts~
Reviews: Thank you for the support. I don’t mean to offend any lesbians or gays. No, not at all. It was just an idea and I had to write it. Its just a different look into the world…
PS. No, ‘fuck’ isn’t my favorite word. Its America’s favorite word. I hate swearing but it gets the point across, doesn’t it?
My head…hurts so much…the boy thought, twisting in his nightmares. Blackness seemed to be swallowing him, choking off his air. Like the hand of death that was around his neck and slowly squeezing away his life. Gohan began to feel the panic rise into his chest, suffocating his heart like a disease but he couldn’t move…he couldn’t open his eyes…
“He’s not going to wake up…!”
Let go…Gohan cried. He felt the tears on his face all over again and a voice chuckled within his ear. The boy froze, his whole body icy over. No…the darkness closed in again and the smell of blood filled the air. His own blood.
The smell was occupied by a heavy breath, filled with the scent of booze upon its quake. The smell of peeling paint and rotting garbage…
And then came the pain.
“Somebody, help us!!”
Like the stab of the knife, Gohan went completely into shock in his black world. Thrusting, aching, unbelievable pain. Every breath he took was like swallowing water…no, beer. Every time he tried to turn his head away, the hand of death tightened and killed him some more. Every time he screamed for help…came the thrusting of the cock forever inside him. Something he would feel every time he moved. Something he would remember every time he would take his clothes off. Something he would smell when watched his father drink. And the one thing that he would always hear…
“Stop the bleeding! Please, oh god!”
_ “You’re mine now.” _
Is that true? Gohan bit his bottom lip and immediately tasted blood. He tried to jerk away but the hand tightened around his throat. The boy sputtered but made no more fatal attempts to get away.
_ “You liked it didn’t you?” _
No! How could I ever like something so vile, so-
_ “Then how come you are still dreaming of my cock?” _
_ “Can you feel my fucking breath on your neck, slut? Can you feel this dick that fills your whole fucking entire being?” _
Yes…Yes, I can still feel it all. But anybody would! Not after that!
_ “Fucking retard. I fucked you weeks ago and you’re still in your nightmare.” _
Gohan gasped but as soon as he did, he felt the beer being poured back into his mouth. A bitter taste was mixed in the killing drug and Gohan made a pitiful noise as he realized just what he was swallowing. But it was impossible…
Gohan jerked up in his bed, screaming with his eyes wide and head tilted to the ceiling. Drowning…he was drowning again! Somebody…help me!! Suddenly, strong arms circled around his trembling body and pulled him away from the dream that kept haunting him day and night. The beer disappeared and the pain ceased to a dull roar. Gohan cried pitifully as he was pulled against a warm chest and completely succumbed to the comforting body protecting him from his dreams.
“Papa…” Gohan sobbed
“Shh…Sh, Gohan…” Gohan’s father, Goku, whispered rubbing a cool palm over his son’s sweaty bare back. “He’s not here…”
Goku decided not to reply. His son never spoke a word about the…the rape. The most he would say was ‘he’. An unknown being that kept his only son in its clutches.
Goku blinked and looked down at his son’s messy black hair, awakening from his dreary thoughts.
Gohan bit his lip as he heard the soft sigh from his worried father.
“All right. Lay down.”
Gohan immediately did so, turning around to lie on his stomach. Hugging his pillow, Gohan stared off into space, the faint trail of a blush crossing his cheeks as his sleeping pants were dragged down. Closing his eyes, Gohan blushed more and shifted embarrassingly when a wet cloth moved in-between his ass cheeks.
“Gohan, hold still. It will just hurt more.”
Gohan gave a quick nod and closed his eyes tighter as his own father spread his ass cheeks to get closer. Slowly, Gohan felt a clothed finger move in and wipe away some of the blood that escaped from his ring.
No matter what, Gohan kept bleeding. It was like he was internally cut and no matter how much they tried to find the wound, they never could. So he continued bleeding.
Gohan bit his bottom as his father ran a finger around his blood-covered ring. He kept all his noises inside, knowing that if his father ever knew…ever knew…how much he liked being touched; he would be thrown into another world of shit. It barely even hurt anymore…It almost felt nice…
“All done,” Goku said and withdrew his finger. Gohan let a sigh escape his lips and opened his eyes slightly. Goku was throwing away the cleaning wet rag, a look of disgust upon his face.
Wasn’t he suppose to like doing it too…?
Gohan shook his head roughly and buried his head in the pillow. No! Of course he isn’t suppose to ‘like’ it. He wasn’t even supposed to like it. It was wrong. It was disgusting. It…It also felt really good.
No! That’s just him in your mind; don’t listen to him! He’s wrong; wrong, wrong, wrong!!
“You have a field trip tomorrow…” Goku said softly, watching his son on the other side of the room.
“I know,” came Gohan’s muffled reply.
“Look…Gohan…you don’t have to go back there…Back to the city…”
Gohan paused his reply as his imagined tomorrow. Him, walking with his classmates in the crowded streets as they walked to the movie theater for some educational head filling. And as he neared the alleyway, ‘he’ would come out, grab him, and pull him into the darkness…No one would even miss him.
Gohan shook his head again. No. That wouldn’t happen, he was just letting his imagination getting away with him.
“No, I want to go, Papa.”
Gohan trailed behind his classmates, eyes to the ground and his hands stuffed into his pockets. They were walking the busy sidewalks of Tokyo, heading to the movie theater to watch some educational show. It was the same movie theater that Gohan had gone to weeks ago…
Needless to say, he was just a little bit nervous.
Sighing, Gohan kept walking forward and only looked up when they were buying their tickets outside the door. Nervously, the boy looked towards the alleyway where, from already at the distance he was, he could smell the beer. I’m not afraid…Gohan thought, stiffening up his back. I didn’t enjoy it either.
Looking forward, Gohan watched the long line and his teacher help kids buy their tickets and get into the theater. Slowly, Gohan looked back at the alleyway…
It wouldn’t kill him to take a peek.
Sneaking away from his group and away from his teacher’s eye, Gohan walked quickly to the edge of the dark alleyway. Taking a calming breath, Gohan peeked around the corner and into the darkness.
And saw nothing
“Damnit…” Gohan cursed when he could see nothing through the darkness. He saw a darker shape but that was just the garbage can, which was obvious. But everything else was too dark to see. Sighing, Gohan stepped into the alleyway, looking around while his eyes started to adjust to the dim lighting. Putting his hands in his pockets again while he walked in, the boy looked around the stinky gap between two buildings. Just like he remembered. Like he would ever forget.
Huffing, convinced that he was no longer afraid of a dump, the boy turned around.
And that’s when he stopped cold.
“I knew you would be back.”
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