Is Hard To Do
Take for example a lonely woman who had been volunteering at a museum. She tried had to do her job, as well as make everyone else smile. She befriended many people, but hung out mostly with one group of men. They had much in common, as they traded jokes and stories about their time in the military.
As time went by, she became close with one of the men. He was married, but flirted with her constantly. One day it happened...who kissed who doesn't really matter, only that it started events in motion. Months later he left his wife to move in with the woman. They fell in love.
After 7 months, things began to crumble. His wife decided she had too much to lose in the divorce, plus the costs of the divorce were hurting her financially. She cancelled the divorce....only a few months before it would become final.
The woman told the man that if he went back to his wife, their relationship was over. He understood, but told her she did not understand all that he stood to lose by staying with her. What she really did understand was that this man was leaving her and it was because he wasn't willing to give up his financial holdings. She had always believed that love was more important than moeny and was very hurt. But she did understand and told him that if he really leaves, that he MUST try to make things work with his wife. That their relationship will end when he walked out her door.
He moved back to his wife. But he never did get over the other woman. He started to call her. He confided in her about his marriage. Again, she let him back in her life. Letting him visit her, take her out for dinner and have sex with her. She felt used. But she was the type of person that couldn't be alone and felt it better to have someone even for a few moments, than to have no one at all.
She lived the life of the "other" woman for many months. Then she finally had had enough. She told him that she could no longer keep up the front. That he was selfish in wanting both his wife and her. That he needed to let go of her so she could once again have a real life. He refused. He told her that he wanted to lay with her, to caress her, to make love to her. She told him that she no longer wanted any of those things. Explaining that she was now lifeless and sick from it all.
He kept stopping by and bringing her presents and flowers. She tried to hold her ground.
One night he called her every few minutes, but she refused to answer. He was obsessed with her. He was relentless. Her health was becoming more unstable because of the stress. She begged him to stop. She told him it was her time to move on, to find someone who could make her happy. He told her to wait 2-3 years for when he would be financially set and could take care of her. She refused to wait,saying that it could be for nothing if he decided at that point not to be with her. He just never let her explain, nor did he truly understand.
Now she cannot sleep. She won't answer his calls, but is afriad he will show up at her house. She is unsure of what he is capable of. All that she wants is to have the freedom to move on. Possibly to find a man who would be available for her emoationally and physically. Someone that was single.
How is it that some people cannot just take the break up as a learning experience and not torture the other person? Are these people truly that selfish or is it some sort of mental problem?
My advice is for the man to finally let the other woman go. She does still love him, but needs more out of her life. And sometimes that love just isn't enough....especially if it is shared between more than the two people.
