All Alone
All alone,
Without a home,
Without a friend,
With a pain that never ends.
What happened here?
Where did I go wrong?
Without a life,
To no one I belong.
Does anyone care?
That I don't know,
But from how alone I am,
I really don't think so.
Am I accepted?
Am I forgiven?
What did I do?
How do I fit in?
I try to be friendly,
I try to be nice,
But still I'm alone,
All in spite.
Why do you hate me?
Why does he not date me?
I won't leave!
You can't make me!
With only a song to comfort me
When I'm sad.
All alone with no one to punish me
When I'm bad.
I want all these things,
How I want them so!
No one will listen to me,
So nobody knows!
A team member,
maybe I am.
But a friend,
No one thinks I should have.
I wouldn't hear them...
Eavesdrop or manipulate them.
Yet that's what they do to me...
Don't they know how much pain can be?
Suffer through warm,
Suffer through cold,
They'll all have forgotten me
When we grow old.
Sequins may shine,
And smiles may sparkle,
But for me,
My life only grows darker.
I have no choice,
I must do this.
Everyday I long for
A feeling of bliss.
Unwanted
Untrusted
Unfelt for
Unlusted.
Your decision is made,
I left it up to you.
So after you've told me to go,
I guess I'm through.
1994
Next Poem: Learning To Fall
