Disheartened
by Sereko
sereko13@yahoo.com


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"I can't believe it! I can not believe it, Usagi. I can't believe that 
you can throw everything away so easily. That after all we've been 
through, that I mean nothing to you! I have loved you undyingly for 
thousands of years and no matter what happened to me, what happened to 
us, you still came through...WE still came through. Oh Usagi...you have 
changed. For you to be so cold, for u to look at all the hoplessness 
and evil....then you have changed. you are no longer the usagi that I 
loved for so long. the usagi that stood by her friends at all costs. 
the usagi that never gave up, no matter how hopeless and lost the 
situation was. you are no longer the optomistic usagi who gave everyone 
she met a piece of her heart. but, if u can say that all is lost. if u 
can tell me, straight to my face, that all we've been through was for 
not. that our centuries of experience have faded to the extreme...if 
you can say that. If you can say that, Usagi...then I'll know that you 
are dead. That Princess Serenity has left us forever. For she cares 
about everyone...even me."

"I can't tell you that Mamoru. I can't tell you that everything means 
nothing to me. I can't utter the words that you have just spoken...
because....deep in my heart...I know that i'll never lose faith in all 
of you. That, no matter what happens...i'll always be the usagi that 
stands by her friends...i'll always be the usagi with whom has the 
right to be called the Princess of the Moon. but I can not forgive you 
all so easily. I went through so much pain that night. when I saw the 
horrid look that filled all of your eyes. the loss of faith, the loss 
of trust towards me. the fact that all of you, who I loved more than 
life itself....the fact that you could lose faith in me so easily....it 
made me cry and it always will." true to her statement..she began to 
cry. "I have been known to have strong emotional walls. that no matter 
how desperate a situation...I can calm everyone down and make them feel 
safe. I have always been able to keep my emotions, no matter how strong, 
hidden deep within me. hidden where no one can see them...where no one 
can ask about them...where no one knows that they exist. so...i am 
always the cheerful, helpful usagi to all of u. but after that night. 
my emotional walls broke down...every single one of them fell. the pain 
was too strong to bare. too strong for me to ignore and hide. it was 
too strong for ME to forgive...because that pain was caused by the 
people who I cared for the most in my life. the people who had grown 
close to my heart for thousands of years....for them to cause me such 
pain was too much and the walls fell down completely. therefore I can't 
just take you back so easily. I can't just run into your arms again and 
pretend that none of you did anything. no matter how much I want to 
feel safe, no matter how much I want to feel your friendships, no 
matter how much I want to hold you, Mamoru....i just can't take you 
back because I will have the fear that you will do it all again and 
that I will be hurt like I was before...i just can't..." with that she 
ran out of the room and down that stairs. 

all the men immediatly turned and began to walk after her departing 
form when Mamoru uttered a single word..."No." they stopped their 
progress and turned their heads to see him standing solidly on the 
ground. he moved forward and they parted for him. when he reached the 
door to the stairs, he stopped and turned around...his black cape 
flowing behind him... "She is mine to care for." 

All the men bowed and at once they all chorused, "Yes, my prince."