I wake up to the sounds of the birds twittering softly in the warm embrace of my savior. I wonder if Wills even realizes how much of a blessing he has been for me? Last night was the first time in a good three weeks since I�d relived that day. I hope it didn�t hurt Wills too much. I can�t hope that it didn�t affect him a little. I was calling out another man�s name while asleep in his arms, I know that would hurt.

        I can�t beat myself up over this. Wills has to realize the torture I went through after Scott died. He may as well learn now rather than later. I�ll just go back to sleep. It must still be early, I don�t hear any�

        That�s Jon�s voice.

        �Let them sleep, Mary. Gen had a nightmare while I was on duty,� he says some distance from our tent.

        �Again?� the concern in Mary�s voice is obvious. �I thought she�d stop having them.�

        �It was the first time in almost a month. I think it�s understandable, though,� Jon explains.

        �The guilt,� I can barely hear Mary say this, but it makes me think.

        The guilt. Is that why I had the nightmare? Guilt? It could explain it. I�m not asleep in Scott�s arms as it should have been. Is this how it should be now? I love Wills, I know I do. I�ve committed my life to him. To us. Are you happy for me, Scott?

        NO. I will keep my promise. I won�t second guess this relationship because Scott died. As much as I hate it, he�s gone. I have someone new, someone just as special in my life. Someone I love in a much different way, but just as much.

        I love you Wills.

        With that peaceful thought I drift back to sleep and don�t wake until the day is nearly half gone.

        �Morning, beautiful,� Wills whispers as I shift in his arms, slowly waking up.

        I yawn in response. Wills laughs his wonderful, deep laugh.

        �What time is it?� I ask, still half asleep.

        Wills smiles, �Around eleven.�

        �What?� I ask in surprise.

        �I know. We slept in quite late, didn�t we?� Wills says with a smile.

        �Are the others still here?�

        �I�ve only heard the guys� voices so far.�

        �Jon knows I had the nightmare� and he told Mary,� I think aloud. �They�ll be asking me about it.�

        �Do you have them often?� Wills asks gently.

        �I used to,� I answer honestly, cuddling closer to his warm chest. �But they�ve been less and less frequent since I met you. I hate them but I love them� my last day with Scott. I wish they would stop, but I don�t want to give that last bit of him up.�

        �I know,� Wills whispers, holding me tight. �Harry still has dreams about Dad. At times I wish I had them.�

        �He�s there with me, but he isn�t. It�s horrible,� I say with a shiver. I look up at Wills and I can see the conflict in his eyes. �I�m sorry, Wills.�

        �Don�t be,� his voice is so gentle. �I know it�ll take a long time for you to recover from the loss of Scott, if you ever can. But the love you show me is more than I could ever hope for from any woman. I�m an orphan now; both of my parents have died. I know how hard it is to leave them in the past. I don�t want to leave them behind. I don�t expect you to do it, either. All I ask for is your love. And you have given that to me.�

        I smile up at him. �I don�t want you to feel like you are replacing him. You aren�t. This � us � is something so different. It�s more than what I had with Scott,� I say, trying to explain my feelings for Wills aloud. �Scott was my first love, and could have been my only love. But it was the innocent love of two high school kids.� I turn my face towards Wills� chest, unable to continue for a moment, thoughts overwhelming me. Gathering my strength again, I look into his eyes. �We have both been through too much to ever have that sort of a relationship. We both know that there is more at stake when we fall in love than what Scott and I had any concept of. What we have is deeper, more. I love you, Wills. I love you in such a way that it scares me how deep it goes, and the hold I know you have on me. I don�t want to loose you, Wills.�

        Wow. I didn�t know I�d be able to voice that concern. It�s my darkest worry, I know it. I love him so much; I don�t think I could bear to loose him. Not after Scott. I know I could never love again.

        Wills lifts my chin and looks into my teary eyes with such intense love I know that I don�t have to worry about him rejecting me. He brushes his lips very lightly against mine in reassurance, and then says, �You don�t ever have to worry about that. I plan on following in Gran�s footsteps and live to see my Golden Jubilee, with you at my side. I love you too much to be separated from you for too long.�

        The tears that were brimming moments ago now roll down my cheeks in love and happiness. He is a silver tongued devil and prince charming wrapped up in one wonderful man that I love so much.

        �Hey, don�t cry,� he whispers, afraid that he said something wrong.

        Giggling slightly, I shake my head, �I love you. I love you so much.�

        Realizing that I was just being an emotional wreck, Wills holds me close in a hug, kissing any skin he can find, wiping away my tears as they still stream down my face. So happy to just be in his arms, I try to push the tears back so I can truly enjoy being in his arms, but can�t seem to stop them. Laughing now, I say, �I can�t stop crying!�

        Wills laughs with me, raising my lips to his to share a passionate kiss, slowly distracting me from everything else, and when we separate the tears have stopped.

        �I love you,� Wills� husky voice whispers. Gently, he roles me onto my stomach and begins to rub my shoulders, slowly working his way down my back, pulling the sleeping bag down as he goes. His hands feel so amazing as they work the tension the nightmare induced out, and all the weeks of riding. As he reaches the bottom of my shirt he begins to slip his hands under it, but pauses, �Do you mind, love?�

        I smile at how cavalier he is, even in our tent. I shake my head and sigh as his warm hands make direct contact with my back.

        Gen�s soft skin feels amazing as I slowly give her the promised massage. Her back is in knots, no doubt from the weeks she spent in the saddle, and last night couldn�t have helped much. But her trust in me is causing her to relax, making it easier to ease out the tension.

That's all that's written for this part for now. Go to Part III, back to Crazy Fantasy, or the home page.