POEMS
ALL POEMS ON THIS PAGE ARE
©2002 Đaniel Sharp

(no title) - By Dan xXx

A heart of stone, a crown of thorns
A life less wasted, should never been born
A confused individual, too blind to see
Too cursed to find, too lost to seek

Alone in the world, different to all
Alone in his head, trapped in his walls
It's not his fault, he didn't see it coming
But now they know, he spends his life running

He understood when his friends turned against hiim
He just didn't care and kept on advancing
But when he was open and spoke to his mother
Her reaction was scary, unlike any other

Now he's alone - this choice he has made
How did he know that his life would fade?
He's giving it up, can't live one more day
And all he said was 'Mom, I'm gay.'

Hate - Đan xXx

Hate others for the things they say
Hate myself for feeling this way

Hate the life that I've fucked up
Hate the taste within this cup

Hate the thoughts that plague my head
Hate that my feelings may never be read

Hate the way that I pity myself
Hate the need for love and wealth

Hate the way that I was raised
Hate the life that no one saved

Hate the way I write this shit
Hate that you might read some of it

Hate that you will get to know me more
Hate that you will fuck me over more

Hate the way that I am treated
Hate the way I am verbally beated

Hate the accusing thrown my way
Hate that I don't eat every day

Hate the depression that's killing me
Hate the fact that you can't see

Hate the way I wanna die
Hate the way I can only cry

Hate everyone every single day
Hate others for the things they say

Growing - Dan xXx - 12th May 2002

When I was a child
I spoke with inexperience
Now that I am older
I only wish to remain in silence

Through the years
I have learned my lessons
I wish I could go back
And pay more attention

In my early school days
I was always eager to learn
But as my mind began to stray
The less knowledge I yearned

And now I am older
And I have nothing to show
I wish for eternal sleep
But it's coming way too slow

During my later life
I had lost all direction
And I never thought to fullfill
My parents satisfaction

They learned their lesson
Resent the son that failed
They've taught me something else
Depression will always prevail

And if I were a piece of paper
I'd be torn, shredded and ripped
And if I were to start again
I'd be beaten, abused and stripped

Why can't this hatefull world
This cess-pit we live in see
There's no fucking point
To our own cruel humanity

I could be metaphorical
But I won't waste our time
What's their's is their's
And nothing will ever be mine

STORMS - BY ĐAN xXx - 19th June, 4:30am

A storm is brewing as rain clouds gather
I'm left alone with thoughts crashing like thunder
The harsh wind blows away all reason
In the solitude of my mind winter is the only season

The branches of the trees snap against my window
The bitterness of mother nature has a chance to show
The forks of lightning like thoughts in my mind
Sharp, jagged and often too shocking to find

The moon is covered by clouds of gray
I'm waiting for the dawn of a new day
My heart is as dark and black as the midnight sky
Waiting for my own storm to quieten and die

My emotions are like a storm-torn sea
Knowing only deep anger and sheer misery
The ship that sails on my ocean of torment
Is slowly sinking with its shell torn and bent

And though I hate the storm it keeps me alive
It helps me find my head and let my thoughts thrive
So while the thunder crashes off in the distance
I know that this storm is my only way of resistance

Christmas - Đan xXx

Happy happy happy
That's the way my life is going
Not a care in the world
And outside it's snowing!

December is here
Oh wow - what fun!
I can't believe
It's been this long!

I throw up my hands
I scream to the sky!
'I'm oh so happy'
'TONIGHT I'M GONNA DIE!'

It's December twenty-fourth
Why, it's Christmas Eve!
Santa will be coming soon
And soon I shall leave!

My presents are waiting
Under the tree for me
I'm oh so excited!
I can't wait to bleed!

The snow outside is white
The wind is cold and sharp
The trees blow back and forth
An angel plays her harp!

The bells and jingling
I can hear his slay!
He's coming for me!
I'm gonna do it today!

My present is so good
They'll remember it forever
But I won't spoil the surprise
It's just the best present EVER!

It'll make them
As happy as me
To watch me bleed
I want them to see!

I might stain the carpet
They can say that it's wine
As soon as I'm gone
Everything will be fine

He's landed on the roof
I can hear him walking!
He's coming down the chimney
I can hear him talking!

He's talking to the reindeer
Dasher, Vixon, Comet and Dancer
He's telling them to wait
Donner, Rudolph, Blitzen and Prancer

He's laughing merrily
He must know what I'm thinking!
As he comes down the chimney
I'll begin my sinking!

I hope he fits
With his sack so full
I left him a Mince pie
Next to the stool

Above our fireplace
Our stockings hung high
Waiting for our gifts
Please, just let me die

I'm growing impatient
As he struggles on the roof
And that noise is irritating
I think it's those hoofs

He's done it! Oh yay!
He's finally climbed down
He's staring at me now!
He's begining to frown...

I smile, big and wide
And show him my new knife
I wanted to meet the big guy
Before I took my own life

'Santa' I say
'There's one thing I need'
He looks at me, scared
'Just please let me bleed'

He drops his sack suddenly
As my wrist begins to seperate
I look at him thankfully
'Thanks Santa, you're great'

And now mommy and daddy
Have the best possible pressie
A dead reject son
I hope, now, they're happy

Sleep - Đan xXx

This pain I feel
I can’t deny
Enough to kill
Enough to cry

This hurt I own
I’d give away
To not be alone
For one more day

This anguish inside
Is mine to keep
Impossible to hide
It’s time to sleep

No One - Đan xXx

The path through life
Hard and daunting
The blade of a knife
Strangely haunting

The shine of light
From its razor edge
Eternal night
It’s gift to give

Sleep one more day
No one will care
No one will pray
There’s no one there

Blood - Đan xXx

A drop of blood
That falls from me
A gift from above
Or a mere fantasy?

The life that it gives
The crave that it brings
Essential to live
On top of everything

So whenever you bleed
And the blood runs free
You’ve got what I need
So give it to me

Darkness - Đan xXx

The darkness welcomes me
Like an old friend
Too dark to see
It seems to have no end

The darkness is clean
The darkness is sterile
The light is mean
The light is vile

Within the black
I lose myself
I’m not going back
Too bad for my health

So hello darkness
My old friend
Engulf my sadness
Let me find my end

Me - Đan xXx

As the day goes by
I sit and wonder
Is it worth it to cry?
Should we all just go under?

We all see people
Happier than us
Our lives are so feeble
In ourselves we are lost

So take my hand
And be like me
I need to be found
To be all I can be

Paper - Đan xXx

As I tear the paper
It begins to bleed
It rips without a sound
It has no words to read

And people see this paper
Torn, ripped and shredded
The just see past it
Can’t see where it’s headed

Today it’s just a rip
Tomorrow it’s in three
Eventually it will be gone
And that paper is me

Love - Đan xXx

Love may come but soon it will go
And what do we all have left to show?
All these questions and answers I don’t know
I just give it up and go with the flow

But now I realise love will never come
I can’t believe I was so naïve and dumb
Now my heart is empty and my soul is numb
I can’t handle it anymore - it’s time to succumb

And as I’m dying I hear you say:
‘It’s OK, I’m here, live for just one more day’
But when it’s all done I do as I may
So goodbye my love, it’s too hard to stay

Daniel - Đan xXx

D - is for the damage I seem to create
A - is for the anguish I have learned to hate
N - is for the nothing that I have become
I - is for the me that has to succumb
E - is for the emptiness left in my soul
L - is for the love that I will never know

Choices - Đan xXx

If I give up on life I give death a chance
I’m pissed off with living time for my final dance
Fuck everyone else this is my decision
I’ve made up my mind I’m on a mission

Not long to go before the pain starts to leave
My blood has been spilled it’s staining my sleeve
And with my last breath I’ll have no regrets
Soon I’ll be gone and the people can forget

But they never knew me anyway, why should I care?
But deep down I know there is someone out there
But it’s too late now, I’ve begun to fade
Maybe this wasn’t the best choice I ever made

Tears - Đan xXx

See the pain
I feel deep inside
See my hatred
That I cannot hide
See the love
I have been denied
See the tears
That I have cried

Feel my remorse
For the life I have wasted
Feel my sorrow
For having not tasted
Feel my anger
That should be long faded
Feel my tears
From a soul that’s been jaded

Watch my skin
As the knife begins to slice
Watch my blood
Spilling over the knife
Watch my face
Looking back on my life
Watch my tears
That I cry every night

Hear my voice
As I try to repent
Hear my heart
My final breath has been spent
Hear my thoughts
I don’t know where they went
Hear my tears
Gone back from where they were sent

With You - Đan xXx

My life is a story too boring to tell
I’ve seen many places like Heaven and Hell
Of all the places I have been to
My favourite place is anywhere with you

For you - Đan xXx

How can I tell the girl that I love her?
And that whenever we speak I wish I was with her?
When all I am is a cowardly fool
An idiot - ugly, stupid and that’s not all
I’m a nothing, insignificant and lonely
And all I want is for someone to love me
I can do no better than I already try
And that just leaves me no hope I just want to die
But my sorrow is found in my room at night
When I imagine we meet under the moonlight
But then I awake from this heavenly dream
Awakened by the sound of my own scream
I’m poison, I know it, there’s nothing I can do
My love will leave me, just like you
Because this poem you’re holding if you can’t see
Is my private message for you from me