1252002

10:02 a.m.- Have you ever felt that the world has juss come crashing down? I have.....and more than once...Sorrie for not writing an entry the last couple of days...they have juss been so hectic, it's weird. I can drive to school now.....well...temporarily at least! Today i didn't go to school b/c i'm sick. Not really sick...like i'm about to throw up or anything...but i'm sick. Let's leave it at that. You knoe what? I'm really glad that i don't have a b/f or have an interest in anyone right now...it's juss that what i'm going through right now...i don't think any guy would be able to support me well...not at this age. That would be totally wrong to expect something out of a guy like that....and if was indeed able to support me in anyway he could that would be the perfect guy...but how could i? He would have his own life and it's not like we're married or anything. I feel so badly about my mom...the way i've acted towards her...juss everything! And then...report cards are coming up...i hope she forgets about them....but then again...she remembers thing at the most awkward times....isn't that juss odd? I need to start on my Guided Coursework, esp when i'm not going to have much time on it. I have to go take the stupid SAT IIs tomorrow....i'm juss taking the writing section tho...fun, eh? OH YEAH....i need to get mah finanical aid shit out of the way. Not that i'm going to get any finanical aid if i even get into a college. Geez~~~~~~Yesterday i was dying to go shopping so i went by myself. I actually was going to go with Juli, Ve, and Amy, but i didn't really have time to pick them up and then drop them back up. I juss went into two stores and got what i wanted....at Abercrombie & Fitch i bought this green polo shirt and some plaid pants (i think they are capris...but maybe not?) i wanted some sweat pants from abercrombie..and i went into the Kids' section, but they didn't have my size! Then i thoguht, oh i'll get a pair from bebe...so i went to bebe... i ended up buying charcoal gray colored runnin/sweat pants and white bebe t-shirt...boi...it's amazing how fast you can spend money..welps that will prob the only shopping i do until the summer. My room is such a mess! Ah! Scott Gee didn't send me his lab...what a shame.....i'm glad that i didn't go to school today! Welps....i'm sorta hungry and i feel really dirty...so i think i'll go grab somethign to eat and take a shower and then go watch some TV! yahoo!!!!!!!!

9:40 P.M. - i juss got back from seeing my mom. My room is such a mess. I wonder if i am even going to work on my guided coursework paper. It's kinda weird.....i think i will, but i think i won't. At least not from the mood I'm in right now. I'm so lonely...there's no one online...it's really sad. *sigh* Dude....ppL are slowly starting to hear from colleges. Bobby, along with James Bryan got into STATE. Congrats guys! When will i ever get an acceptance letter? Who knoes? I may never get one until i'm 35. Yes, what a sad life i am leading....hehe^^. So when does a walk to remember come out? I kinda want to see it, there's a cute guy in it..well sorta..from my memory he was cute...you knoe when you thought someone was cute and then when you finally saw them later they really weren't that cute anymore? I was watching soap operas today <The Young and the Restless> and <the Bold and the Beautiful>~My God~ they are so twisted compared to the Korean Soap operas..it's like WTF? cuz one sec the woman is in love with a man her age and then the next minute she falls in love with her son-in-law and sleeps with him and ends up getting pregnant with his baby! Geez...but they are still fun to watch...some sexy soap opera guys in there.ya knoe~ hehe...well i'm out~

I LOVE SHAKESPEARE! Anyone who hasn't seen Shakespeare in Love MUST see the movie. It is one of the greatest! (Ralph Finnes is prettie foine in there too!) Anywayz...i dunno if i'd fall for a guy who loves Shakespeare like i do..i dunno...i don't think i would fall for poetic guys in general. Poetry in a way freaks me out...the only poetry i will try to read -n- understand is any of Shakespeare's. My only wish before i die.whenever i do..is to love someone dearly as Juliet loved Romeo...someone who i'd be willing to die for (besides ppL like my parents and friends) I dunno it's kinda weird how i'm tying death with love, but whenever i think of Shakespeare i always think about Romeo and Juliet. I wonder if i would ever risk my life for whom i loved..and deny my name...juss for that person....i guess it all comes to the question, "is it worth all the trouble?"