That I dug out of a drawer,
The last truce we ever came to
In our adolescent war
Miaka paused in her cleaning of the old dresser from her mother�s condo. Slowly, she withdrew her hand and stared at the battered wooden frame. She wiped a cloth across the glass and a smile curved her lips to see the bright faces of old friends. And if her fingers lingered over one particular face like a caress, well, no-one was around to see her bout of mental infidelity. She gently set the picture of seven remarkable people and herself aside. She�d ask Taka; perhaps they would get the photo a new frame and put it in the baby�s room. A red frame. So the baby could see all his or her spiritual uncles. Yes, that would be nice. Taka would surely agree to that. And Miaka�s sighs could then be excused as regret that her warriors wouldn�t get to meet the baby. She clung to the tales Taka had told of his last visit to Konan: Chichiri�s wisdom, sweet Boushin and dear Houki, and even Tasuki�s maturity and strength.
�It was so odd to realize that Tasuki was now older than I!� Taka had said, laughing. �Somehow, I never expected him to make it past 30, but there he was!� He never noticed how his words lanced her heart, how she�d longed to see her dear warrior, but she�d remained in that nebulous between-worlds by Suzaku�s power, unable to lay eyes on the one person that bound up all her regrets and what-ifs that had grown since vanquishing Tenkou.
She smiled at the picture again, and ignored the tears rolling down her cheeks.
And I start to feel the fever
From the warm air through the screen;
You come regular like seasons
Shadowing my dreams
Sometimes, a young snot-nosed upstart would challenge the Leader�s superiority. It made his Lieutenant laugh like a hyena � something that actually happened with depressing regularity � but the Leader always treated each challenge seriously. Then he proved just what Suzaku�s Chosen meant. But those bouts were mild, a demonstration of dominance by the Alpha Wolf of Reikaku. Suzaku forbid anyone make ANY critical comment about Her Grace, the Suzaku No Miko. As Kouji frequently muttered on those rare occasions, �Let the beatings begin.�
And the Mississippi�s mighty,
But it starts in Minnesota
At a place that you could walk across
With five steps down
Tasuki downed his latest shot of sake and leaned his elbow against the window frame. An observer would see an image of power at rest, a tall lean man in his middle years, red hair darkening with age, lines of worry and laughter refining a strong rectangular face. He watched the sunset with golden eyes sharpened, not squinting, into the sun.
�Yer doin� it again.� The bandit Lieutenant, Kouji, remarked from his seat on a comfortable cushion nearby. His tilted his head, grizzled and graying, towards his lifelong friend. �I �xpect the lovelorn sighs to start soon. OUCH!� The sake cup clattered on the floor, having bounced off Kouji�s head.
Tasuki reached for a bottle and returned to contemplating the sunset. He often wondered where it all began. Tamahome�s poisoning? No, before that, because even by the time they�d returned to the palace, he�d felt something.
And I guess that�s how you started
Like a pinprick to my heart,
But at this point you rush right through me
And I start to drown
She put her hand on the small of her back and stretched. The kitchen sparkled, thank goodness. Taka would have had a fit to come home to that disaster area. She grinned at baby Hikaru. �Next time, we work on getting food in your mouth INSTEAD of all over the floor, ok?� The infant just waved his chubby fists around. Miaka sighed and sat nearby, taking a well-earned rest. She missed so much, staying home all the time. Not that she didn�t love Hikaru dearly, but there were times when she felt desperate for some adult conversation. Too little company meant too much time to think.
And wonder. At least once a week, she�d walk by the National Library, and every time she resisted going in. It�s over, she�d tell herself.
And there�s not enough room
In this world for my pain.
Signals cross and love gets lost
And time past makes it plain.
Of all my demon spirits,
I need you the most--
I�m in love with your ghost
I�m in love with your ghost
Tasuki stared at the embroidered panel in his hands. Today�s haul turned out to be one of the largest they�d ever taken. A corrupted lord had illegally closed a monastery, ousting the good monks and claiming all for himself. As soon as that lord set foot on the base of Reikaku, the holy mountain�s winds had howled, announcing an unrighteous man, and the Wolves, the bandit�s nickname, had fallen on him forthwith.
Of course, they�d return the loot to the monks and Tasuki would send a message to the Emperor. Boushin was a good boy, who�d grown into a fine man, with proper respect for the remaining Suzaku warriors.
But this one panel, he considered keeping. As much as he refused to admit it, he knew quite a bit about such things, being raised by women, and he could tell the work was about forty years old. That meant it was stitched not long after the events it commemorated.
In a circle formed of Suzaku�s feathers, eight figures stood, each carefully portrayed and labeled with both their names and symbols. Tamahome and Hotohori were the best portrayed, Mitsukake and Chiriko the poorest. His own image wasn�t bad, but what captured his attention was the absolute perfection of the central image of Miaka.
�What�s that?� Kouji wandered over and peeked over his shoulder. �Ah! Lookit that! Gee, I don�t remember Her Grace lookin� so.. so.. together.�
Tasuki glared at Kouji, then relaxed. �Yer right! Last time you saw her, she was demanding more food and ridin� away.�
Both men laughed at the memory of the way Miaka had taken control of the Stronghold. Kouji slapped him on the back, and walked away, but Tasuki still held onto the panel. Sighing, he muttered a single word.
�Miaka..�
Dark and dangerous like a secret
That gets whispered in a hush
When I wake the things I dreamt about you
Last night make me blush
And you kiss me like a lover
Then you sting me like a viper
I go follow to the river
Play your memory like a piper
Miaka sat up in bed suddenly. Pressing a hand to her pounding heart, she gasped for breath.
�Miaka, honey? You ok?� Taka�s voice was thick with sleep.
�Just a dream, Taka. It�s nothing.� With a mumbled acquiescence, Taka returned to sleep as Miaka stared at the shifting shadows on the wall.
Her memory of the dream wouldn�t leave her. The warmth and passion of the fantasy had been thrilling, and with the mess her hormones made these days, pregnant a third time, she certainly couldn�t fall back asleep now.
The only problem was that the star of her fantasy wasn�t the caring man beside her in the bed, but the outgoing warrior she�d left behind so many years ago.
And I feel it like a sickness
How this love is killing me
I�d walk into the fingers
Of your fire willingly
And dance the edge of sanity
I�ve never been this close
I�m in love with your ghost
�Retirement is for pussies!� He shouted, slamming the door on the contrite bandit who�d dared make the suggestion. He stomped over to the mirrored glass in the corner of the room and frowned at his reflection. So, he was older than most of the gang. So what? He was a friggin Celestial Warrior! Yes, losing Kouji to illness last winter had been rough, and he�d spent more time in the sake lately, reminiscing about the Good Old Days, than was normal, but damnit! He was entitled.
�I am Genrou! The Phantom Wolf! The Master of Reikaku! I am Tasuki! Celestial Warrior Of Suzaku!� He leaned closer, peering at the lines of grief and care engraved in his face, the hair more white than red now. His anger ebbing, he groaned. �She wouldn�t even recognize me now..�
Unknowing captor
You never know how much you
Pierce my spirit
But I can�t touch you
Can you hear it
A cry to be free
Oh I�m forever under lock and key
As you pass through me
Miaka lost herself in thought, staring at the chest. The museum lighting gave the gilded wood a remarkable sheen.
�Mother?� The girl, so obviously hers, tugged on her sleeve. �Mom, Hikaru and Chuei are already in the next room.�
Miaka pressed her finger against the glass. �Do you see this design? That is Suzaku, the phoenix god of the south of China. His seven stars are Hotohori, Tamahome, Nuriko, Chiriko, Chichiri, Mitsukake, and Tasuki.�
The girl, her auburn hair pulled up in childish buns, wrinkled her nose. �So that�s where you got my name, from a phoenix?� Resurrecting a conversation from that morning, she turned her amber eyes to her mother.
Miaka smiled at her feisty teenaged daughter. �Sort of, Hisaki.� She pulled her dearest child close. �Actually, it was more to honor an old friend long gone�.�
Now I see your face before me
I would launch a thousand ships
To bring your heart back to my island
As the sand beneath me slips
As I burn up in your presence
And I know now how it feels
To be weakened like Achilles
With you always at my heels
He coughed again. He was so sick of being sick. Eighty years of life, and it seemed like the last few had been spent constantly sick. He shifted restlessly in the bed. His niece and her daughter wouldn�t let him get up. Oh, he was grateful to them, of course � his youngest sister�s girl, kindly and respectfully, opened her arms and her home to her long-missing retired-bandit reluctantly-famous uncle almost 10 years ago. For a while, he made himself useful. Lately, all he did was lie here sick and tell old stories to his grand-niece, Miyu. She wrote everything down, too. Nice girl. Her hair was dark red.
He shifted again, uncomfortable, and growing cold. He had sent a message to Chichiri, a week ago, but who knew if the Wandering Monk could even be found. Shame really; he�d so like to see his friend one last time before dying.
Tasuki knew he was dying this time. He was so tired, and this sickness would not leave him.
This bitter pill I swallow
Is the silence that I keep
Miaka smiled and waved appreciatively at her grandsons. This family gathering was a pleasant way to spend a day. Not many of her days were pleasant, now. Though she could honestly admit that she missed her late husband desperately, most of her time was spent thinking of the past, and of regret.
�Grandma! Grandma, watch!� The strident voice of her youngest grandchild drew her attention, and she even chuckled as young Tamahome threw the ball as hard as he could. The twins, Chiriko and Nuriko, ran after it, cheering their little brother�s efforts.
With a huff, Hisaki fell onto the bench beside Miaka. �Oh, Mom. Why did I have to have three boys?�
Miaka smiled. �I had two and YOU. You�ll survive.� She blinked, rubbing her temple.
�Mom?� Her daughter�s visage, grown mature in middle age, swam into view. �Are you alright?�
Miaka shook her head. �A sudden headache.�
It poisons me, I can�t swim free
The river is too deep
Tasuki absently kneaded his arm as he examined the board. Chichiri, seated next to the bed, made an impatient noise.
Tasuki made a face. �Gimme a minute! You know I don�t know this as well as you!� He made a move, which the monk immediately countered with a noise of triumph.
�Humph.� Tasuki grumped, leaning back. �When did you get so competitive?�
The monk, his blue hair now pure white, his mask long gone, simply smiled.
Miyu came in, picking up the dinner tray. �Uncle? Time to sleep.�
Tasuki began to protest, but Chichiri rose as smoothly as ever. �It�s OK, Tasuki-kun! We�ll visit again tomorrow, no da.�
Tasuki sighed and agreed, allowing Miyu to settle him for bed.
Though I�m baptized by your touch
I am no worse than most
In love with your ghost
The next morning, Miyu opened the door gently, calling �Uncle? Time to get up.� She looked at the bed where her great-uncle lay. He seemed to be still asleep, so motionless. �Great-Uncle Shun�u?� she called, a little louder.
At that moment, the sun cleared the nearby buildings, and a beam of light fell through the window, illuminating the still face of Suzaku Warrior Tasuki. With a gasp, Miyu laid her hand on her uncle�s cheek. It was as cold as winter earth. Choking back a sob, she turned, and suddenly spotted someone standing by the window. Eyes widening, she stared at the young man who grinned at her, his fangs and his red hair flashing in the sunbeams. Just as she was about to ask who he was, he gave her a wink and a wave, and faded to nothingness.
Miyu fell to her knees and prayed to Suzaku for her great-uncle�s happiness in the afterlife.
In Love �
You are shadowing my dreams
(In love with your ghost)
Miaka could vaguely make out the forms of her children and grandchildren around her. More recognizable was the beeping of the monitors and machines around her. She wished her vision would come back enough to see her great-grandchild, Chiriko�s firstborn, a little boy with red hair and a howling cry.
She knew she�d be free soon. She wondered what it would be like. Who would be there to meet her? Taka of course. Would she see her other friends? Perhaps� perhaps if Suzaku met her, she could ask for one more wish. Her secret wish. In her heart, she whispered it again. �If I could only do it again, I�d pick �.�
The monitors wailed as Miaka Sukanami breathed her last. Immediately, her family bowed their heads to pray for the soul of their beloved matriarch.
Only Hisaki glanced up. She gasped to see a wavering translucent image standing next to the bed. The young woman, 17 at most, smiled at Hisaki and blew a kiss, but then she turned towards the sunlight streaming in the hospital window. Even more shocked, Hisaki turned to see the figure of a young redheaded man standing there.
His lips moved, and faintly, Hisaki thought she heard him say, �Hey, Miaka-baka!�
�Tasuki!� Her mother�s shade cried back, and in a moment, the two transparent figures embraced, then slowly faded away.
�Miaka, listen, I�ve died, and this was my last wish, to see you again, to tell you � I love you, Miaka. I have almost from when we first met!�
�Oh, Tasuki! I wished so hard too. I realized something after all these years � I was meant to be with you! I love you too, Tasuki!�
(in love with your ghost)
(in love with your ghost)
AN: �Hisaki� means �flames� according to the nice online translator I found�.
AN: I didn�t mean to imply that Hisaki�s kids are reborn warriors, just named after them.
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