"So I guess that even though I like Mr. Zelgadis a lot, maybe I should just give it up. I mean, it'll never work out." She closed her eyes, and shifted into nd even more comfortable position. "Wouldn't it be nice if he got a cure and turned out to be a prince?"
"I thought that only happened in fairy tales."
"I know." Unbidden, a fantasy came into Amelia's mind. She was riding into Saillune on a white horse, and the people were cheering for their Hero Princess. With a smile, Amelia drifted into sleep.
Zelgadis was falling asleep in the bath. He knew he shouldn't, it was dangerous to sleep in the bath, but he was warm and comfortable, and he just couldn't help it. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so....relaxed.
The steam and the warmth made the bath hazy. Idly, he wondered where they'd go next. Not that it mattered. They'd just keep travelling, led by Lina's greed or whim, and he'd keep his eyes and eary open. Maybe they could head southwest. Back in the general direction of the Kataart Mountains.
"You're still thinking that the Clair Bible can help." Across the room was a mirror image of Zelgadis. Funny place for a mirror, thought Zel, but he didn't linger on the thought. I'm so tired I'm talking to myself, he thought with a smile.
"Is that a yes?"
"Not really. I'm just wondering if I'm not feeling the effects of too much magical exertion."
"You did stretch yourself today. Was it worth it?"
Zel frowned at himself. "The Protection was faster and more effetive than a Ray Wing. The gale from a Burst Rondo that strong could have knocked us into the next kingdom in the air."
The reflection seemed to smile. "Very logical."
"Of course."
Zel and his reflection stared at each other a moment, then the reflection said, "So, the Clair Bible is still your goal. Think Milgasia will let YOU see it?"
"I don't know. But it's worth a shot."
"Funny Lina didn't ask for you."
Zel frowned again. "There were more pressing concerns."
"Really? I thought all you cared about was finding a way to reverse this curse."
"Yes! I mean, well, we were being hunted by a Mazoku Lord at that time, two in fact; I couldn't put my own needs ahead of that."
"You mean LINA was being hunted. You were a bystander."
"So?"
"Things seem to revolve around Lina a lot," observed the reflection.
Zel shrugged. "She's the most powerful sorceress I know. She'd dome some amazing things."
"And you always just go along for the ride."
"I couldn't just abandon my....."
"Friends?" supplied the reflection.
Zel was silent a moment. Were they his friends? Lina always demanding that he stay with them, jollying him out of depression. Gourry fighting back to back with him, struggling to understand and help as he could. Amelia, with her case of hero worship for him, and her ridiculous speeches, yet she had a power of her own.
"How do you feel about each of them?" asked the reflection.
What a strange conversation to have with one's self, Zel thought. Of course, at this point, introspection seemed normal. "Well, Gourry's a good man, the best swordsman I've seen, and he's so solid and dependable. Amelia is....Amelia. She could be so much more if she'd just grow up!"
"Do you like Amelia?"
Zel chewed his lip, then answered "I like her, but not in the way she likes me. And I wish there were some way to make her realize that without hurting her."
"How would you define your feelings for her?"
"Like a younger sister, one who sometimes needs to be protected. She could become a great ruler."
"And Lina?"
"Lina....." Suddenly Zel was uncomfortable with this silly talking with himself.
"Why does the thought of LIna make you uncomfortable?"
"Excellent question. Lina is one in a million. She's incredible. She doesn't seem to have a care in the world, no matter what happens to her."
"Hmm. Sounds to me like you like Lina quite a bit."
"WHAT?!?" Zel sat up. A corner of his mind noted that the replection did the same. I must be really tired, I'm arguing with my reflection!
"Isn't that it? You travel with them because of her. She brings you out of your shell of self-pity and and depression."
"I do NOT suffer from self-pity!"
The reflection gave him his own skeptical look. "Don't you? Always griping about how you look, even though you've gone to cities and towns without once using your mask. Always saying how you're a monster. Never believing YOUR FRIENDS when they tell you otherwise." the reflection looked right at him. "Or maybe you're vain. You're so obsessed with how you look. Even Lina has said it doesn't matter to her. She's said that from the moment you met."
Zel slouched back down, as did the reflection. "yeah, well, maybe she did. But it's not like it matters. She'd never...umm.." Zel flushed. He wasn't going to admit even to himself that he'd wished HE'd been the one to chase Lina into the Sea of Chaos.
"You assume that she's in love with Gourry."
"Of COURSE I do! It's obvious. They can't live without each other."
"Can you say that for sure?"
"Well, no. It's not like either are given to confidences. Lina doesn't, and Gourry can't."
The reflection smiled. "Lina doesn't seem like the type of girl to go for an idiot."
Zel stared at himself in the mirror for a long time. Could Gourry's bravery be simply the result of ignorance. They say ignorance it bliss; it would explain a lot about Gourry. He sighed and looked away. "Even if that turns out to be true, she'd never go for me."
"Wouldn't she? Do you know that for sure?"
Zel's eyes went back to the mirror. He looked long and hard, evaluating. Could a woman really look at me as something other than a monster? He stared at his reflection, feeling an amazing thing happen. He felt more confident, like he didn't have to hide as much. And if...a part of him didn't want to hope, but then again, he wasn't quite so miserable any more. Zel closed his eyes and stretched. He felt more comfortable in this stone skin now than he would have thought possible.
He looked at himself again, and the reflection gave him a quizzical look. "Well?" it asked.
Zel sighed, but less depressingly than usual. "I don't know. But..." A sudden shift in the steam obscured the mirror. "Maybe.".