One fine day, our dear ol' Eilonwy was off somewhere in the depths of 
the Black Forest, fishing alone as usual. Why she chose to persecute a 
bunch of defenceless little feeshies instead of...umm...well, not 
persecuting them, it was not clear, but rumour has it that it probably had 
something to do with a certain Sweefire wanting a 'rich friend'. Anyway, 
the main thing is that there she was, hooking up fish after fish, which 
was not to say that she was a hooker, because she was not. And as the 
rays of light penetrating the canopy of the forest grew dimmer and 
dimmer, Eilonwy's purse grew fatter and fatter, but her tummy
grew flatter and flatter. Ludicrous as this may sound, but instead of 
eating all those feeshies she caught, she actually sold them for money 
to...well...buy food.

So there was our female lead, roaming around in the marketplace, 
looking for something to make her flat tummy fatter and her fat purse 
flatter, when suddenly she came across this weird little creature being 
chained up to a post, trying to flit about with spunk but effectively just 
tripping over its chains every now and then. It looked like a very 
hideous humgii, and indeed, Eilonwy did think it looked like a very hideous 
humgii. "Oi!" she beckoned to what seemed like the proprietor of the 
beast. "What's this 'ere thing we're lookin' at?"

"Well, milady, that's a hard 'un," the old man replied with a lopsided 
grin, "it seemsat we're lookin' at differen' thin's. I, for one, am 
lookin' at your cute lil' ass, while ya seem to be lookin' more at this 
ol' bruiser I'm selling."

"I think ya lookin' for trouble, more like!" cursed Eilonwy as she 
promptly gave the seller a good kick to the groin. "One more remark like 
that and -it- gets squished!"

"O...Ok..." came the painful reply, "I was jus' commentin' on ya 
beauty, ya know, no need to get so personal... ...his name's Hasun," here he 
pointed to the hideous humgii lookalike, "and he does...lots of stuff."

"Oi! You wretched fool, are you launching a personal attack on my 
guildmate by naming that...thing after him?" Eilonwy threatened the seller, 
advancing menacingly at him, which was not to say that she made 
advances on just any old guy she met, because she did not.
"Well..." the seller stammered fearfully, eyeing Eilonwy's long legs 
which had made his loins ache (though not in that normal sense we are so 
wont to think), "the similarities are obvious. For one, they both stink 
to 'igh 'eaven." At this point the hideous humgii lookalike (which we
will now call H. H. Hasun, or simply Hasun for short, which was not to 
say it was the same Hasun as the one we all know, becuase it was not), 
let out a stupendous fart, forcing Eilonwy to concur.

"Go on..." said Eilonwy, "you got me attention. Why else would I wanna 
buy it?"

"It can also morph squirrel!" offered the seller, easing up a little by 
now. "Jus' like da real thing! Helps ya collect food ya know?"

"Ooooohhh," went Eilonwy "do it and show me!" she exclaimed. The seller 
removed the chains, and Hasun (or rather, let's just call it H. H. 
Hasun to avoid confusion between the two) perked up its ears and quickly 
scampered away. It came back seconds later with bulging cheeks, and 
promptly spat a sea-cucumber at Eilonwy's feet. "Evil!" she squealed in
glee. "I'll take it! How much?" Eilonwy enquired.

"Just one night, on account of that cute ass of yours!" the seller 
replied coyly, by now totally forgetting the not-so-tiny misfortune that 
had befell him moments ago. Which was not to say that Eilonwy was going 
to let him, because she was not. What happened in the next few
secondswas much too gruesome to describe, but suffice to say she caused 
him to slither on the ground in utmost pain. Taking out her purse, she 
threw a few gold sovereigns on the ground, spat at him in disgust and 
promptly led H. H. Hasun away, her mouth watering at the thought of 
roasted humgii with sea-cucumber tonight.